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# 2020-12-08 - Letting Go by David R. Hawkins | |
A friend recommended the writing of David R. Hawkins, and i chose | |
this book because i thought it might help me learn to better forgive | |
and let go. Several points in this book remind me of points raised | |
in an earlier book: Focusing by Eugene Gendlin. David Hawkins | |
proposes muscle testing as a method to discern Truth, but writes that | |
it is only reliable for people who have tested above a certain level. | |
I found this concept of "level" interesting. Basically, the author | |
rates the major emotions on a scale corresponding to his scale of | |
consciousness ranging from deluded to enlightened. This scale uses | |
numerical values where a higher score is more enlightened, more | |
"positive", and more valuable than a lower score. This reminds me a | |
little of the modern chakra system [1], which is inspired by the | |
electromagnetic spectrum. It also reminds me of the stage | |
development model of human progress [2]. It also reminds me of the | |
power level scores in Dragon Ball Z [3]. Suffice it to say, i am | |
skeptical of these scales, especially with respect to biological | |
systems and emotions, which are not directly comparable to the | |
electromagnetic spectrum. One similarity that i do find valid is | |
that the electromagnetic spectrum contains infinite possible | |
frequencies. Likewise, our emotions contain infinite possible | |
expressions. | |
One gem i took from the book is the idea of breaking a problem into | |
components. For example, if you cannot forgive something, then try | |
to find a smaller part of it that you can forgive. This process | |
reduces the emotional charge you carry around and it primes your | |
"forgiveness muscle." | |
Another gem is the idea that it is more productive to process | |
feelings than to process thoughts, basically because feelings reside | |
"under the hood" and nearer to the root cause of our problems. This | |
might explain why some of my friends value somatic therapeutic | |
methods more than they value talk therapy. | |
[1] | |
Chakra, see section Modern history | |
[2] | |
Spiral Dynamics, see section Overview of the vMemes | |
[3] | |
List of Power Levels in Dragon Ball Z | |
Below are excerpts from the book that i noted for future reference. | |
# Chapter 1, Introduction | |
The solution to any problem seems to bring only brief relief, for it | |
is the very basis of the next problem. | |
Don't worry--everybody's desperate. Intuitively, we know that | |
somewhere there is an ultimate answer. | |
What's in the book? It tells of a simple method to reach great | |
clarity and transcend your problems along the way. It's not by | |
finding the answers, but by undoing the basis of the problem. The | |
mechanism of surrender is simple and the truth is self-evident. It | |
works during daily life. There is no dogma or belief system. You | |
verify everything for yourself, so you cannot be misled. There is no | |
dependence on any teachings. It follows the dicta of "Know thyself"; | |
"The truth shall set you free"; and "The kingdom of God is within | |
you." It works for the cynic, the pragmatist, the religionist, and | |
the atheist. It works for any age or cultural background. It works | |
for the spiritual person and the non-spiritual person alike. | |
The process of surrender will begin automatically, for it is the | |
nature of the mind to seek relief from pain and suffering and to | |
experience greater happiness. | |
# Chapter 2, The mechanism of letting go | |
Letting go is like a sudden cessation of an inner pressure or the | |
dropping of a weight. It is accompanied by a sudden feeling of | |
relief and lightness, with an increasing happiness and freedom. It | |
is an actual mechanism of the mind... | |
The surrendered state means to be free of negative feelings in a | |
given area so that creativity and spontaneity can manifest without | |
opposition or the interference of inner conflicts. To be free of | |
inner conflict and expectations is to give others in our life the | |
greatest freedom. It allows us to experience the basic nature of the | |
universe, which, it will be discovered, is to manifest the greatest | |
good possible in a situation. This may sound philosophical, but, | |
when done, it is experientially true. | |
We have three major ways of handling feelings: | |
* Suppression and repression -- These are the most common way we | |
push feelings down and put them aside. In repression, this happens | |
unconsciously; in suppression it happens consciously. | |
* Expression -- With this mechanism, the feeling is vented, | |
verbalized, or stated in body language, and acted out in endless | |
group demonstrations. The expression of negative feelings allows | |
just enough of the inner pressure to be let out so that the | |
remainder can then be suppressed [out of awareness]. | |
* Escape -- Escape is the avoidance of feelings through diversion. | |
Escapism is a socially condoned mechanism. | |
Stress results from the accumulated pressure of our repressed and | |
suppressed feelings. The energy of our blocked off feelings | |
re-emerges through our autonomic nervous system and causes | |
pathological changes leading to disease processes. | |
Stress is determined by our belief systems and their associated | |
emotional pressures. It is not the external stimulus, then, that is | |
the cause of stress, but our degree of reactivity. | |
Letting go involves being aware of feeling, letting it come up, | |
staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to | |
make it different or do anything about it. It means simply to let | |
the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind | |
it. The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without | |
resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing | |
about it. It means to drop judgment and see that it is JUST a | |
feeling. The technique is to be with the feeling and surrender all | |
efforts to modify it in any way. Let go of wanting to resist the | |
feeling. It is resistance that keeps the feeling going. When you | |
give up resisting or trying to modify the feeling, it will shift to | |
the next feeling and be accompanied by a lighter sensation. A | |
feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it | |
dissipates. | |
When letting go, ignore all thoughts. Focus on the feeling itself, | |
not on the thoughts. Thoughts are endless and self-reinforcing, and | |
they only breed more thoughts. | |
There is a progressive diminishing of dependence on anything or | |
anyone outside of ourselves. | |
There is always a feeling to be let up and surrendered. When we are | |
feeling good, the emotions are merely subtler. | |
Sometimes you will feel stuck with a particular feeling. Simply | |
surrender to the feeling of being stuck. Just let it be there and | |
don't resist it. If it doesn't disappear, see if you can let go of | |
the feeling in bits and pieces. | |
# Chapter 3, The anatomy of emotions | |
Whichever psychology is studied reveals that the primary human goal, | |
superseding all others, is survival. The mind is, therefore, a | |
survival mechanism and its method of survival is primarily the use of | |
emotions. | |
There is a simple way to become conscious of the underlying goal | |
behind any activity through the use of the question, "What for?" With | |
each answer, "What for?" is asked again and again until the basic | |
feeling is uncovered. | |
## Scale of Emotions | |
600 Peace | |
540 Joy | |
500 Love | |
400 Reason | |
350 Acceptance | |
310 Willingness | |
250 Neutrality | |
200 Courage | |
175 Pride | |
150 Anger | |
125 Desire | |
100 Fear | |
075 Grief | |
050 Apathy | |
030 Guilt | |
020 Shame | |
According to scientific findings, all thoughts are filed in the | |
mind's memory bank under a filing system based upon the associated | |
feeling and its finer gradations. (Gray-LaViolette, 1982). | |
Consequently, there is a scientific basis for the observation that | |
self-awareness is increased much more rapidly by observing feelings | |
rather than thoughts. The thoughts associated with even one feeling | |
may literally run into the thousands. The understanding of the | |
underlying emotion and its correct handling is, therefore, more | |
rewarding and less time-consuming than dealing with one's thoughts. | |
In an overwhelm [AKA an emotional crisis] it is often advisable to | |
utilize them [suppression, expression, and escape], but doing so | |
consciously. The purpose of this maneuver is to reduce the sheer | |
overwhelming quantity of the emotion itself so that it can be | |
disassembled and let go of in bits and pieces. Thus, in this case, | |
it is alright consciously to push away as much of the emotion as we | |
are capable of at the moment. When the feeling has been reduced in | |
its sheer quantity and intensity, it is best to start letting go of | |
small aspects of the situation rather than the overall situation and | |
the accompanying emotion itself. [This reminds me of self-soothing | |
strategies.] The purpose of surrendering these smaller aspects... is | |
that it gets the mind into letting-go mode. After using the above | |
four methods (suppression, expression, escape, surrender of smaller | |
aspects), a fifth now becomes apparent. Every strong emotion is | |
really a composite of a number of subsidiary emotions and the total | |
emotional complex can be disassembled. Thus, as the disassembled | |
emotional complex is taken apart into its component parts, each | |
component part now has less energy and can be surrendered | |
individually. | |
There are numerous benefits to handling a life crisis successfully. | |
For one thing, the amount of suppressed or repressed emotion is now | |
much less. The crisis has forced it up to be relinquished and, | |
therefore, the amount that is left in the reservoir is much less. | |
There is a greater feeling of self-esteem and confidence because | |
there is the awareness that one can survive and handle whatever life | |
will bring. There is an overall reduction of the fear of life, a | |
greater feeling of mastery, greater compassion for the suffering of | |
others, and an increased ability to help them through similar | |
circumstances. Paradoxically, after a life crisis, there often is a | |
period of variable duration of peace and calmness, sometimes | |
approaching the level of mystical experience. The "dark night of the | |
soul" frequently precedes states of heightened awareness. | |
One of the best-known examples of this paradox is illustrated by | |
persons who have had near-death experiences. | |
We take on a different attitude about the past difficulty or trauma, | |
and we acknowledge the hidden gift in it. The value of this | |
technique was first recognized by Viktor Frankl. He explained the | |
approach--which he called "Logo therapy"--in his famous book Man's | |
Search for Meaning. | |
One benefit from a life crisis is greater self-awareness. The | |
situation is overwhelming, and we are forced to stop all of our | |
diversionary games, take a good look at our life situation, and | |
re-evaluate our beliefs, goals, values, and life direction. Life | |
crises, as we pass through them, present us with polar opposites. | |
Every emotional experience is an opportunity to go up or down | |
[Hawkin's scale of enlightenment.] Which do we choose? | |
# Chapter 4, Apathy and depression | |
Apathy is the belief, "I can't." It is hopelessness and | |
helplessness. The way out of apathy is to remind ourselves of our | |
intention, which is to get higher and freer, to become more effective | |
and happy, and to let go of the resistance to the technique [of | |
surrender] itself. | |
Apathy and depression are the prices we pay for having settled for | |
and bought into our smallness. It's what we get for having played | |
the victim and allowed ourselves to be programmed. The way out is to | |
become more conscious. What does it mean, "to become more | |
conscious?" To begin with, becoming more conscious means to start | |
looking for the truth for ourselves... start questioning everything. | |
One of the biggest blocks to overcome in getting out of depression | |
and apathy is that of blame. Perhaps the biggest payoff of blame is | |
that we get to be the innocent victim and the other party is the bad | |
one. | |
Blame is the world's greatest excuse. It enables us to remain | |
limited and small without feeling guilty. But there is a cost--the | |
loss of our freedom. | |
The first step out of blame is to see that we are choosing to blame. | |
Blaming others or ourselves is simply not necessary. | |
Another cause for apathy is the residual of a previously experienced | |
traumatic overwhelm which has not been resolved. But, because in the | |
unconscious mind there is no such thing as time, we can choose at any | |
time in the present to heal the past event. | |
We all did what we thought was best in the moment. "It seemed like a | |
good idea at the time" is what we can say about our past actions and | |
those of others. We've all been unwittingly programmed without our | |
conscious assent. Out of our confusion, ignorance, and naïveté, we | |
bought into the negative programs. We let them run us. But now we | |
can choose to stop. We can choose a different direction. | |
Another valuable technique for getting out of apathy, depression, and | |
situations which are predominantly being run by the thought, "I | |
can't," is to choose to be with other persons who have resolved the | |
problem with which we struggle. This is one of the great powers of | |
self-help groups. Merely being in their presence is beneficial. It | |
is not necessary to know how it happens, but merely that it does | |
happen. Simply put, we are either positively or negatively | |
influenced by the company we keep. | |
# Chapter 5, Grief | |
Grief can be precipitated by the loss of a belief system, a | |
relationship, a capacity or role, a hope about ourselves, or an | |
overall attitude toward our life, external circumstances, or | |
institutions. It's the feeling: "I'll never get over this. This one | |
is too difficult. I tried, but nothing helps." Most of us carry a | |
great deal of suppressed grief. Men especially are prone to hide | |
that particular feeling, as it is considered unmasculine and unmanly | |
to cry. Suppressed grief is responsible for many psychosomatic | |
conditions and health-related complaints. Instead of suppressing the | |
feeling, if it is allowed to come up and be relinquished, we can | |
quickly jump from grief to acceptance. | |
The psychological basis of all grief and mourning is attachment. | |
Attachment and dependence occur because we feel incomplete within | |
ourselves; therefore we seek objects, people, relationships, places, | |
and concepts to fulfill inner needs. Because they are unconsciously | |
utilized to fulfill an inner need, they come to be identified as | |
"mine." As more energy is poured into them, there is a transition | |
from identifying with external objects as "mine" to being an actual | |
extension of "me." Loss of the object or person is experienced as a | |
loss of our own self and an important part of our emotional economy. | |
Loss is experienced as a diminution of the quality of ourselves, | |
which the object or person represented. The more emotional energy | |
invested in the object or person, the greater will be the feeling of | |
loss and the greater the pain associated with the undoing of the | |
bonds of dependence. Attachment creates a dependency, and | |
dependency, because of its nature, intrinsically carries with it a | |
fear of loss. | |
Chronic guilt or refusal to work through the emotions associated with | |
loss can result in delayed grief reaction and physical disease. | |
As we have seen, the basis of all mourning and loss is attachment, | |
plus the denial of the transitory nature of all relationships. We | |
can begin by looking at our lives, identifying those areas of | |
attachment, and asking ourselves: "What internal needs are they | |
satisfying? What feeling would come up if i were to lose them? How | |
can my inner emotional life be balanced so as to decrease the extent, | |
degree, and number of attachments on external objects and people?" | |
# Chapter 6, Fear | |
We all derive great benefit from liberating ourselves out of a | |
fearful inhibition into successful functioning because that learning | |
process automatically spills over into many other areas of our life. | |
Fear is so pandemic in our society that it constitutes the | |
predominant ruling emotion of our world, as we know it. Fear is | |
associated with our survival, and so it is given a special accord in | |
our minds. | |
In fact, fear itself is the greatest danger that the human body | |
faces. It is fear and guilt that bring about disease and failure in | |
every area of our lives. We could take the same protective actions | |
out of love rather than out of fear. | |
One particular form of fear is what we call guilt. Guilt is always | |
associated with a feeling of wrongness and potential punishment, | |
either real or in fantasy. If punishment is not forthcoming in the | |
external world, it expresses itself as self-punishment on an | |
emotional level. Ninety-nine percent of guilt has nothing whatsoever | |
to do with reality. Guilt is really self-condemnation and | |
self-invalidation of our worth and value as a human being. | |
It is because of our own inner innocence that we have bought into all | |
the negativity of the world and allowed it to kill our aliveness, | |
destroy our awareness of who we really are, and sell us the pathetic, | |
little smallness for which we have settled. Most of the | |
consciousness [raising] programs boil down to this essential point: | |
become aware of what we are buying into, what are are accepting | |
daily. Once we have looked deep within ourselves and found that | |
innate inner innocence, we will stop hating ourselves. We will stop | |
condemning ourselves and stop buying into the condemnation of others | |
and their subtle attempts to invalidate our worth as a human being. | |
# Chapter 7, Desire | |
It is this disparity between what a thing is in itself, and the | |
glamour that we have attached to it, which leads to disillusionment. | |
So often we have chased some goal and, then, when we have achieved | |
it, we are disappointed. This is because the thing itself does not | |
coincide with our picture of it. This happens very often with | |
vocational goals. Glamorization is living at a fantasy level. | |
# Chapter 8, Anger | |
In anger there is energy for action. The quantity of suppressed | |
anger in the population can be verified quickly by seeing how popular | |
violence is in the media, where the viewers are presented with a | |
vicarious experience of letting our their anger in the form of | |
beatings, shootings, stabbings, lynchings, killings of various "bad | |
guys." We typically feel so much guilt about anger that we find it | |
necessary to make the object of our anger "wrong" so that we can say | |
our anger is "justified." | |
A helpful approach is to view the energy of anger positively and to | |
use it to fire up our ambitions and our other actions in a useful way. | |
Another source of anger is that of pride, and especially that aspect | |
of pride called vanity. If our relationship with others are | |
associated with our small self in the form of sacrifice, then we are | |
setting ourselves up for later anger, because the other person is | |
usually unaware of our "sacrifice" and it is, therefore, unlikely to | |
fulfill our expectations. That which we want, desire, and insist upon | |
from another person is felt by them as pressure. They will, | |
therefore, unconsciously resist. The resistance is because pressure | |
is always felt by us as a denial of our choice. When we are | |
motivated by self-sacrifice, we are pressuring the other person. The | |
way to offset this anger is to acknowledge and relinquish the pride, | |
surrender the desire for the pleasure of self-pity and, instead, view | |
our efforts on behalf of others as gifts. | |
One of the great secrets of relationship is acknowledgment. The | |
behavior of others toward us always includes a hidden gift. Even if | |
that behavior appears negative, there is something in it for us. | |
Very often that something appears in the form of a signal for us to | |
become more aware. If we constantly follow this procedure, we will | |
come to the awareness that everyone in our life is acting as a | |
mirror. They are really reflecting back to us what we failed to | |
acknowledge within ourselves. | |
One source of anger stems from the unacknowledged acts of love that | |
we have expressed to others. This whole area of anger can be offset | |
and prevented when we see the enormous value of simply acknowledging | |
the gestures of others toward us. This means to acknowledge all of | |
their communications to us. | |
When we stop pressuring others with our expectations, we create an | |
opening for them spontaneously to respond positively to us. | |
Expectation of others is a form of emotional blackmail. | |
Chronic, unrecognized anger and resentment re-emerge in our life as | |
depression, which is anger directed against oneself. If pushed | |
further into the unconscious, it can re-emerge as psychosomatic | |
illnesses. Anger kills the angry person, not the so-called "enemy." | |
# Chapter 9, Pride | |
In all of us, the prideful feeling, "I have the answers," blocks our | |
growth and development. The prideful person is always on the | |
defensive because of the vulnerability of inflation and denial. | |
Defensiveness invites attack. | |
When we talk of healthy pride, we are referring to self-esteem, an | |
inner awareness of one's true value and worth. Self-awareness of | |
one's true value is characterized by lack of defensiveness. Is pride | |
really the loftiest of human emotions? The very fact that it is | |
characterized by defensiveness proves otherwise. | |
A higher feeling state than that of pride is that of love. If we | |
love [something], that means there is no question of [its] worth in | |
our mind. We no longer have to be on the defensive. | |
Because pride is sometimes seen as a motivator of achievement, what | |
would be its higher level substitute? One answer would be joy. | |
Gratitude is one of the antidotes to pride. If we happen to be born | |
with a high IQ, we can be grateful for it rather than take pride in | |
it. | |
The opposite of prideful acquisitiveness is simplicity. Simplicity | |
does not mean poverty of possessions, rather, it is a state of mind. | |
It is not what we have that matters, but how we hold it, how we frame | |
it in our consciousness, and its meaning to us. We become much less | |
vulnerable if we put our thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, which are all | |
opinions, into a different context. We can view them as ideas that | |
we like or dislike. When we look at our opinions, we will see that | |
it is primarily our emotions that are giving them any value in the | |
first place. | |
Our values are preferences. We hold them because we love them, enjoy | |
them, and get pleasure from them. If we hold them in that context, | |
we will be left in peace to enjoy them. | |
This evolutionary aspect of life is really all that any of us can | |
promise ourselves, and this self-knowledge will protect us from | |
disillusionment. When we are open-minded, we are admitting that we | |
are not in possession of all the facts, and we are ready to change | |
our opinions as the situation unfolds. | |
When we let go of pride, help comes into our life to address the | |
problems with which we are struggling. | |
# Chapter 10, Courage | |
The hallmark of courage is the knowledge and feeling, "I can." With | |
courage, there is the willingness to take chances and to let go of | |
former securities. There is the willingness to grow and benefit from | |
new experiences. | |
# Chapter 11, Acceptance | |
In the state of acceptance, there is the feeling that nothing needs | |
to be changed. The way people appear to us from this space is that | |
everyone is actually doing the best they can with what they have at | |
the moment. On the level of acceptance, because of the major change | |
in the way we perceive others, we now become aware of the inner | |
innocence behind the frantic, fear-driven struggles that have | |
obscured it in ourselves and in our neighbors, friends, and family. | |
Another character of the level of acceptance is that we are no longer | |
concerned with moralistic judgment, with "good" and "bad." | |
The hallmark of this state is the taking of responsibility for our | |
own consciousness. On this level, there is the awareness that all | |
negative feelings are our own problem, and there is no longer looking | |
outside of ourselves for their resolution. | |
What becomes increasingly important is what we are becoming, not what | |
we have or do. | |
# Chapter 12, Love | |
[Love] is more than an emotion or thought, it is a state of being. | |
Everyone has the opportunity to contribute to the beauty and harmony | |
of the world by showing kindness to all living things and, thereby, | |
supporting the human spirit. That which we freely give to life flows | |
back to us because we are equally part of that life. What we affirm | |
in others, we actually affirm in ourselves. | |
Love facilitates healing. It transforms life. In the state of love, | |
we wake up every morning and give thanks for another day of life, and | |
we seek to make life better for everyone around us. Because of the | |
presence of love, things go better... | |
When love is unconditional, there's no attachment, expectation, | |
hidden agenda, or bookkeeping of who gives what to whom. [Our love] | |
is given without requirements. The heart does not put any conditions | |
on what's out there. Only the mind does that. Love makes no demands. | |
A key to making love unconditional is the willingness to forgive. | |
With forgiveness, events and people are re-contextualized as simply | |
"limited"--not "bad" or "unlovable." As the state [of unconditional | |
love] progresses, all of existence takes on a different meaning and | |
we become aware of the inner beingness and essence of everything, | |
rather than just its form. Because of this change of perception, the | |
perfection of all things stands revealed. | |
# Chapter 13, Peace | |
In peace, there is no longer any conflict. With the experience of | |
inner peace comes great strength. | |
It's because of this energy of peace is transmitted outward into the | |
world that mankind is still alive. It would have destroyed itself a | |
long time ago without this energy to counterbalance it. That's why | |
our own inner evolution serves all of mankind. By reaching these | |
higher states of lovingness and peace within ourselves, we become a | |
saving presence in the world. | |
# Chapter 14, Reducing stress and physical illness | |
The inner experience of most people is marked by constant stress. | |
Most of the stress that results in emotional and physical disorders | |
in our society is psychological in origin. The more emotional | |
pressure that is surrendered and let go, the less vulnerable we are | |
to stress response and stress-related diseases. | |
The body has three nervous systems: | |
* voluntary, under conscious control | |
* involuntary, AKA autonomic (sympathetic and parasympathetic) | |
* acupuncture system, which transports bio-energy to all the body's | |
structures and internal organs | |
The overall balance of the body's acupuncture energy system is | |
regulated by the activity of the thymus gland. The bio-energy system | |
is intimately connected to the body's immune system via the thymus | |
gland. | |
Kinesiology deals primarily with muscle testing as sudden drops in | |
bio-energy are indicated by rapid weakening of the body's musculature. | |
# Chapter 15, Relationship between mind and body | |
The basic dictum to comprehend is that the body obeys the mind; | |
therefore, the body tends to manifest what the mind believes. The | |
belief may be held consciously or unconsciously. | |
Superimposed around the physical body is an energy body whose form is | |
very much like that of the physical body and whose patterns actually | |
control the physical body. This control is at the level of thought | |
or intention. | |
Sir John Eccles, Nobel Laureate, stated that after a lifetime of | |
study it became apparent that the brain is not the origin of the | |
mind, but the other way around. The mind controls the brain, which | |
acts as a receiving station (like a radio) with thoughts being | |
similar to radio waves and the brain being similar to the receiver. | |
Without a change of consciousness, there is no real reduction of | |
stress. Only the consequences are ameliorated. | |
# Chapter 16, The benefits of letting go | |
The most obvious and visible effect of letting go of negative | |
feelings is a resumption of emotional and psychological growth and | |
the solving of problems, which often have been long standing. Entire | |
areas of life can open up. What used to be awkward or unexpressed | |
can become effortless and joyously alive. | |
Repressed and suppressed feelings require counter-energy to keep them | |
submerged. It takes energy to hold down our feelings. As these | |
feelings are relinquished, the energy that had been holding down the | |
negativity is now freed for constructive uses. Consequent to letting | |
go, there is an increase in available energy for creativity, growth, | |
work, and interpersonal relationships. The quality and enjoyment of | |
these activities increases. | |
[For problem solving, letting go brings fast and easy results.] Don't | |
look for answers; instead, let go of the feeling behind the question. | |
When we first clear out the underlying feelings, the decisions are | |
more realistic and wise. | |
A lot of our activities and attachments are based on fear and anger, | |
guild and pride. As these negative feelings are relinquished... | |
changes in life begin to occur. Or, if we choose to continue the | |
same activity, the motivation is different and, consequently, we will | |
experience different results than in the past. The emotional payoff | |
will at least be different. Instead of grim satisfaction, we may | |
experience joy. We may find ourselves doing the same activity as | |
before, but now we do it out of enjoyment rather than obligation. We | |
do it because we want to, not because we have to. The energy | |
required will certainly be much less. | |
The more we let go, the more loving we become. More and more of our | |
life will be spent doing things that we love to do, with people for | |
whom we feel increasing love. As this happens, our life becomes | |
transformed. One surprising observation about the mechanism of | |
letting go is that major changes can take place very rapidly. | |
The goals of letting go are far beyond those of psychotherapy. The | |
ultimate aim of letting go and surrender is total freedom. The | |
objective of psychotherapy is to replace unsatisfactory mental | |
programs with more satisfactory ones. Scientific research reveals | |
that the results of therapy are not related to the therapist's school | |
of psychotherapy, training, or technique; instead, the results are | |
related to the interaction between them and the degree of the | |
patient's desire to improve, as well as the patient's faith and | |
confidence in the therapist. With the mechanism of letting go, there | |
is no patient role and no dependence on another person or theory. | |
Psychotherapy aims at the amelioration of neurotic patterns. Letting | |
go, however, is designed to undo the underlying causes of all | |
neurotic formation. It undoes the basic structure of maladaptive | |
feeling and behavior. Beyond the "acceptable level of functioning" | |
waits our greater destiny: total freedom. | |
# Chapter 17, Transformation | |
The more we let go, the more we de-glamorize the world. The more it | |
is de-glamorized, the less it runs us. We are not at the effect of | |
glamour and can no longer be manipulated by it. We begin to love | |
people for what they are, not for what they can do for us... But now | |
we realize that we are the timeless space in which the phenomena are | |
happening. We are not the flickering images playing out their drama | |
on the movie screen, but the screen itself--a nonjudgmental witness | |
of the unfolding movie of life, with no beginning and no end, | |
infinite in its potential. | |
# Chapter 18, Relationships | |
Because they are so intimately connected with our basic desires for | |
love and security, relationships quickly bring out our innermost | |
feelings. For that reason, they are extremely valuable, no matter | |
whether the relationship is classified as good or bad. In the | |
process of emotional emancipation, everything is equally valuable. | |
It is necessary to remind ourselves that feelings are programs; that | |
is, they are learned responses that often have a purpose. That | |
purpose is directly related to achieving an effect on the other | |
person's feelings and, by doing so, to influence their feelings | |
toward ourselves and to fulfill our own inner goals. | |
We can tell if we are really surrendered when we feel okay either | |
way; it's okay with us if it happens, it's okay with us if it | |
doesn't. ... to be surrendered does not mean to be passive. It is | |
being active in a positive way. | |
When we are surrendered, there is no longer the pressure of time. | |
Frustration comes from wanting a thing now instead of letting it | |
happen naturally in its own time. | |
# Chapter 19, Achievement of vocational goals | |
We can simplify the levels of consciousness into three major states: | |
inert, energetic, and peaceful. [Tamas, Rajas, and Satva] These | |
three states are related to the decision making process. 1) Inertia: | |
reflective of the emotional levels of apathy, grief, and fear. 2) | |
Energetic: reflective of the emotional levels of desire, anger, and | |
pride. A go-getter out to prove oneself. 3) Peaceful: reflective of | |
the emotional levels of courage, acceptance, and love. | |
# Chapter 20, Physician, heal thyself | |
Basic working concepts for self-healing: | |
* A thought is a "thing." It has energy and form. | |
* The mind with its thoughts and feelings controls the body; | |
therefore, to heal the body, thoughts and feelings need to be | |
changed. | |
* What is held in the mind tends to express itself through the body. | |
* The body is not the real self; it is like a puppet controlled by | |
the mind. | |
* Beliefs that are unconscious can manifest as illness, even though | |
there is no memory of the underlying beliefs. | |
* An illness tends to result from suppressed and repressed negative | |
emotions, plus a thought that gives it a specific form (i.e., | |
consciously or unconsciously, one particular illness is chosen | |
rather than another). | |
* Thoughts are caused by suppressed and repressed feelings. When a | |
feeling is let go, thousands or even millions of thoughts that were | |
activated by that feeling disappear. | |
* Although a specific belief can be canceled and energy to it can | |
be refused, it is generally a waste of time to try to change | |
thinking itself. | |
* We surrender a feeling by allowing it to be there without | |
condemning, judging, or resisting it. We simply look at it, | |
observe it, and allow it to be felt without trying to modify it. | |
With the willingness to relinquish a feeling, it will run out in | |
due time. | |
* A strong feeling may recur, which means there is more of it to be | |
recognized and surrendered. | |
* In order to surrender a feeling, sometimes it is necessary to | |
start by relinquishing the feeling that is there about the | |
particular emotion (e.g., guilt that "I shouldn't have this | |
feeling"). | |
* In order to relinquish a feeling, sometimes it is necessary to | |
acknowledge and let go of the underlying payoff of it (e.g., the | |
"thrill" of anger and the "juice" of sympathy from being a helpless | |
victim). | |
* Feelings are not the real self. Whereas feelings are programs | |
that come and go, the real inner Self always stays the same; | |
therefore, it is necessary to stop identifying transient feelings | |
as yourself. | |
* Ignore thoughts. They are merely endless rationalizations of | |
inner feelings. | |
* No matter what is going on in life, keep the steadfast intention | |
to surrender negative feelings as they arise. | |
* Make a decision that freedom is more desirable than having a | |
negative feeling. | |
* Choose to surrender negative feelings rather than express them. | |
* Surrender resistance to and skepticism about positive feelings. | |
* Relinquish negative feelings but share positive ones. | |
* Notice that letting go is accompanied by a subtle, overall | |
lighter feeling within yourself. | |
* Relinquishing a desire does not mean that you won't get what you | |
want. It merely clears the way for it to happen. | |
* Get it by "osmosis." Put yourself in the aura of those who have | |
what you want. | |
* "Like goes to like." Associate with people who are using the | |
same or similar motivation and who have the intention to expand | |
their consciousness and heal. | |
* Be aware that your inner state is known and transmitted. The | |
people around you will intuit what you are feeling and thinking, | |
even if you don't verbalize it. | |
* Persistence pays off. Some symptoms or illnesses may disappear | |
promptly; others may take months or years if the condition is very | |
chronic. | |
* Let go of resisting the technique. Start the day with it. At | |
the end of the day, take time out to relinquish any negative | |
feelings left over from the day's activities. | |
* You are only subject to what you hold in mind. You are only | |
subject to a negative thought or belief if you consciously or | |
unconsciously say that it applies to you. | |
* Stop giving the physical disorder a name; do not label it. A | |
label is a whole program. Surrender what is actually felt, which | |
are the sensations themselves. We cannot feel a disease. A | |
disease is an abstract concept held in the mind. We cannot, for | |
instance, feel "asthma." It is helpful to ask, "What am I actually | |
feeling?" Simply observe the physical sensations, such as, | |
"Tightness in the chest, wheezing, a cough." It is not possible, | |
for example, to experience the thought, "I'm not getting enough | |
air." That is a fearful thought in the mind. It is a concept, a | |
whole program called "asthma." What is actually being experienced | |
is a tension or a constriction in the throat or chest. The same | |
principle goes for "ulcers" or any other disorder. We cannot feel | |
"ulcers." We feel a burning or piercing sensation. The word | |
"ulcer" is a label and a program, and as soon as we use that word | |
to label our experience, we identify ourselves with the whole | |
"ulcer" program. Even the word "pain" is a program. In reality, | |
we are feeling a specific body sensation. The process of | |
self-healing goes more quickly when we let go of labeling or giving | |
a name to the various physical sensations. | |
* The same is true with our feelings. Instead of putting labels | |
and names on feelings, we can simply feel the feelings and let go | |
of the energy behind them. It is not necessary to label a feeling | |
"fear" in order to be aware of its energy and relinquish that | |
energy. | |
# Chapter 21, Questions and answers | |
Carl Jung pointed out that, because God is one of the major | |
archetypes in the unconscious, each person has to take a position | |
about God whether they like it or not. Even the atheist has feelings | |
about the concept of God. So whether God exists or not, the subject | |
has to be dealt with sooner or later. | |
Almost all meditative techniques have as their goal the quieting of | |
the mind. This is the basis of the dictum from the Book of Psalms, | |
"Be still and know that I am God." As most meditators have | |
discovered, achieving silence of the mind is the main problem of | |
meditation itself. This is because suppressed feelings constantly | |
produce thoughts, which are the main distractions in meditation. | |
Acknowledging and letting go of the energy behind these suppressed | |
feelings, therefore, facilitates the goal of meditation. When the | |
feeling behind the train of thoughts is located and surrendered, then | |
that entire train of thought instantly stops. | |
By constantly surrendering, it is possible to arrive at an extremely | |
silent state of mind. This can be accomplished as one goes about | |
one's daily activities, thus greatly expanding the capacity to | |
meditate. | |
If you look at anger, you will see that its basis is almost always | |
fear. We get angry because we have been threatened. The threat | |
arouses fear. [In other words, we feel vulnerable.] The fear means | |
we feel that we are unequal to the situation. Anger biologically is | |
like swelling up to intimidate our opponent. Anger is coming from | |
weakness rather than strength. The person who has surrendered is, | |
therefore, relying on strength rather than weakness. The person who | |
has surrendered does not have to fall back upon anger to handle the | |
situation. A totally surrendered person is free to express anger if | |
they wish, but it is done out of choice, not out of necessity. | |
author: Hawkins, David R., 1927- | |
detail: gopher://gopherpedia.com/0/David_Hawkins_(philosopher) | |
LOC: BF311 .H3845 | |
tags: book,non-fiction,self-help | |
title: Letting Go | |
# Tags | |
book | |
non-fiction | |
self-help |