/~bencollver/log/2019-01-25-how-to-talk-so-teens-will-listen-and-how-to-listen-so-teens-will-talk-by-adele-faber-and-elaine-mazlish on tilde.pink

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	# 2019-01-25 - How To Talk So Teens Will Listen And How To Listen
	# So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

	Possibly the most awkwardly long book title that i have reviewed yet.

	# Chapter 1, Dealing With Feelings

	* Identify thoughts and feelings, putting them into words.
	* Acknowledge feelings with a word or sound. Oh... Mmm... Uh... I
	see...
	* Give in fantasy what you can't give in reality.
	* Accept feelings and show empathy, but keep firm limits about
	unacceptable behavior.

	# Chapter 2, We're Still "Making Sure"

	Skills for engaging cooperation:

	* Instead of giving orders, describe the problem.
	* Rather than attack, describe how you feel.
	* Instead of blaming, give information.
	* Instead of threats or orders, offer a choice.
	* Instead of a long lecture, say it in a word.
	* Instead of pointing out what's wrong, state your values and/or
	expectations.
	* Instead of angry reprimands, do the unexpected. Humor instead of
	criticism.
	* Instead of nagging, put it in writing.

	# Chapter 3, To Punish Or Not to Punish

	* State your feelings
	* State your expectations
	* Offer a choice
	* Show how to make amends
	* Take action

	For real change to take place, teenagers need to do their emotional
	homework. And punishment interferes with that important process.

	# Chapter 4, Working It Out Together

	Resolution process:

	* Invite teenager to give their point of view.
	* State your point of view.
	* Invite teenager to brainstorm with you.
	* Write down all ideas without evaluating them.
	* Review your list and decide which ideas you want to put into
	action.

	# Chapter 7, Parents and Teens Together

	Expressing your irritation:

	Instead of accusing, blaming, or name calling, say what you feel,
	then say what you'd like and/or expect.

	Expressing appreciation:

	Instead of evaluating the other person, describe what they did and
	describe how you feel.

	author: Faber, Adele and Mazlish, Elaine
	LOC: HQ799.15 .F32
	tags: book,non-fiction,self-help
	title: How To Talk So Teens Will Listen ...

	# Tags

	book
	non-fiction
	self-help