2019-01-25 - How To Talk So Teens Will Listen And How To Listen
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So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
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Possibly the most awkwardly long book title that i have reviewed yet.
Chapter 1, Dealing With Feelings
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* Identify thoughts and feelings, putting them into words.
* Acknowledge feelings with a word or sound. Oh... Mmm... Uh... I
see...
* Give in fantasy what you can't give in reality.
* Accept feelings and show empathy, but keep firm limits about
unacceptable behavior.
Chapter 2, We're Still "Making Sure"
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Skills for engaging cooperation:
* Instead of giving orders, describe the problem.
* Rather than attack, describe how you feel.
* Instead of blaming, give information.
* Instead of threats or orders, offer a choice.
* Instead of a long lecture, say it in a word.
* Instead of pointing out what's wrong, state your values and/or
expectations.
* Instead of angry reprimands, do the unexpected. Humor instead of
criticism.
* Instead of nagging, put it in writing.
Chapter 3, To Punish Or Not to Punish
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* State your feelings
* State your expectations
* Offer a choice
* Show how to make amends
* Take action
For real change to take place, teenagers need to do their emotional
homework. And punishment interferes with that important process.
Chapter 4, Working It Out Together
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Resolution process:
* Invite teenager to give their point of view.
* State your point of view.
* Invite teenager to brainstorm with you.
* Write down all ideas without evaluating them.
* Review your list and decide which ideas you want to put into
action.
Chapter 7, Parents and Teens Together
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Expressing your irritation:
Instead of accusing, blaming, or name calling, say what you feel,
then say what you'd like and/or expect.
Expressing appreciation:
Instead of evaluating the other person, describe what they did and
describe how you feel.
author: Faber, Adele and Mazlish, Elaine
LOC: HQ799.15 .F32
tags: book,non-fiction,self-help
title: How To Talk So Teens Will Listen ...
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