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| #Post#: 2981-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear Cat | |
| By: owlice Date: August 19, 2021, 12:51 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear Little Cat, | |
| The toilet does the.same.thing every time I flush it, I promise! | |
| You don't need to check! | |
| Pettings, | |
| The woman who feeds you | |
| #Post#: 2985-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: owlice Date: August 19, 2021, 12:53 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear Little Cat, | |
| Your butt does not belong in my face when I sleep. Or really, | |
| ever. | |
| We've talked about this in the past; please make it so that we | |
| need never talk of it again. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Love, | |
| Your food source | |
| #Post#: 3003-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: oreally Date: August 19, 2021, 1:01 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear elderly cat who does not appreciate me nearly as much as | |
| she oughta (for example, I just typed "doe snot" but she would | |
| have never found it funny), | |
| Since you don't groom yourself any more, and I have to do it, a | |
| loud cat growl and vicious bite with your remaining teeth is not | |
| the proper response. | |
| I know, your body your choice but you simply don't understand | |
| the consequences. But I still love you. | |
| #Post#: 3080-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: Queenie Date: August 19, 2021, 2:05 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear Cat, | |
| Your dish is empty. Just like the last time you checked. You | |
| get fed at the exact same time every day and you know this. | |
| Complaining will not fix it. | |
| Love, | |
| The Chicken Lady | |
| #Post#: 3442-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: Aardtacha Date: August 19, 2021, 10:44 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear little cat: | |
| I swear I don't magically transform into a trampoline at 2 AM, | |
| ever. Please stop jumping on me then. | |
| #Post#: 3451-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: HeddyL2627 Date: August 19, 2021, 11:21 pm | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear glassbowl orange cat(s), | |
| I won't now � and have never � fed you at 3 AM. Nor has your | |
| normal pin cushion. | |
| QUIT FUCKING ASKING. | |
| Signed, | |
| Your temporary person | |
| #Post#: 3594-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: oreally Date: August 20, 2021, 10:17 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| My dear Bells, | |
| This could be why baby granddaughter started calling you Bella | |
| the Ball so many years ago. | |
| Which, I might add, was pretty decent punmanship for a 10 year | |
| old. | |
| I know, gurl, you've lost a few lately -- so have I -- just not | |
| enough. | |
| Signed, | |
| Your loving groomer. | |
| #Post#: 3603-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: Queenie Date: August 20, 2021, 10:20 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear Cat, | |
| I understand that you do not like it when the puppy wants to | |
| play. | |
| I recommend not taunting her on purpose and then pretending to | |
| be outraged. I saw the whole thing so you can stop pretending | |
| she started it. | |
| #Post#: 3612-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: oreally Date: August 20, 2021, 10:25 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| [quote author=Queenie link=topic=87.msg3603#msg3603 | |
| date=1629472847] | |
| Dear Cat, | |
| I understand that you do not like it when the puppy wants to | |
| play. | |
| I recommend not taunting her on purpose and then pretending to | |
| be outraged. I saw the whole thing so you can stop pretending | |
| she started it. | |
| [/quote] | |
| GAWD do I know this scenario. | |
| #Post#: 5514-------------------------------------------------- | |
| Re: Dear Cat | |
| By: CatDancing Date: August 23, 2021, 9:54 am | |
| --------------------------------------------------------- | |
| Dear Cat, | |
| Yes, I love you. Yes, I'm glad you're here. But not at 5 a.m. | |
| no matter how happy you are about it. | |
| Sincerely, | |
| Your Person | |
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