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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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Return to: Entertaining and Hospitality
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#Post#: 72008--------------------------------------------------
When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: Venus193 Date: November 25, 2021, 4:07 pm
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I had a request this morning from the Potluck Queen regarding
brussels sprouts. She is one of the few people I know who
actually appreciates them.
I have a great recipe for them but it's not compatible with the
one vegan guest who will be coming to the Friendsgiving potluck
on Saturday. It involves bacon, onions, and sour cream. PQ
also claimed not to like onions, which I know is a lie; she will
eat cooked ones (as this recipe required) but not raw ones.
While I was trying to find a different recipe online she asked
what I was bringing prior to this request and I told her I would
bring the same things I brought last year. She then took a
little longer and came back saying someone else will bring
brussels sprouts.
Does a potluck contribution have to be something the
hostess/organizer eats or is she trying to manipulate? I should
add the caveat that she doesn't cook and therefore has no
appreciation of how untried changes compromise a recipe.
#Post#: 72010--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: Amara Date: November 25, 2021, 4:28 pm
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I wouldn't compromise the recipe because as you said it affects
the results. But is it possible for you to split your sprouts.
Make your original recipe but make it a little smaller, and then
use the balance of the sprouts to make a vegan or vegetarian
dish of them. I googled "vegan brussel sprouts" and came up with
some interesting recipes, some of which probably don't have
onions either:
https://www.google.com/search?q=%22vegan+brussel+sprouts%22&oq=%22vegan+brussel…
/>
#Post#: 72015--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: lakey Date: November 25, 2021, 5:59 pm
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I don't make something that I've never made before for a potluck
or a dinner where it is being served to guests. I think most of
us use tried and true recipes for these events. I wouldn't like
changing a recipe that I already make and like, and I wouldn't
like making a new recipe. If the host needs to make sure there
are dishes that the vegetarian can eat, maybe it would be better
to explain that to the LW and ask her if she has something that
she would like to bring.
#Post#: 72016--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: holly firestorm Date: November 25, 2021, 6:53 pm
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When I went to a Vegan buddy's birthday party I made something
vegan. But, that was HIS party. If I was going to a party and
there were just a couple of vegan guests, I'd bring what I
thought most people would like. (And if the vegan guests whined
I'd just shrug.) If I were close friends with the vegans or if
it were a medical issue, I might accommodate them either by
bringing something additional that would be OK for them or
changing what I was going to bring.
If I were bringing something to a potluck with people I wasn't
close to at all, I might just buy something instead of making
anything special. There's a lot of people who will turn their
noses up at things like dolmathes, spanikopita. I think you even
told me, Venus, you brought your brilliant boef bourguignon to a
pot luck and people looked at it like it was dog food or
something. (I've eaten your boef bourguignon and will swear in
court that that was their loss.) So, sometimes just buying a
pound of two of potato salad really is the better choice.
As for changing my recipe around to suit someone else. Well, I
sometimes experiment with my recipes anyway. So, it would depend
on what kind of change they wanted. Spaghetti sauce with no wine
because one of the guests is a recovering alcoholic? No problem.
Chicken curry instead of shrimp because someone has a medical
allergy. I can work with that...maybe. Eliminating a vital
ingredient? No way. I'd go back to the "something else" option.
#Post#: 72019--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: Rose Red Date: November 25, 2021, 7:13 pm
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It seems every time you post about PQ, she has an issue with
whatever you're bringing, which leaves you scrambling.
It would be nice to make a 2nd dish leaving out the bacon, but I
don't think the vegan guest expect the entire potluck to be
vegan. It sounds like a PQ issue and I'm
getting...thoughts...about how she treats you. Perhaps she's the
same with others too.
Unless there's a sign up sheet or the organizer assigns dishes
for everyone, bring what you want. That's the chance you take
with a potluck. Sometimes multiple people bring the same thing
by coincidence.
#Post#: 72022--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: Venus193 Date: November 25, 2021, 9:32 pm
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One of the objectives that PQ and I discussed years ago was
making sure that there was no excessive duplication, which was
right after a party that had too many sweets and no protein.
For a while we just posted to the FB page what we were bringing
and that worked out very well. In this particular case it's a
Thanksgiving event and she is buying the (pre-cooked) bird,
which will not accompanied by gravy, mash, and stuffing as it
was last year.
I think she learned last year that just because she doesn't like
cranberry sauce or gravy that didn't mean that everyone else
doesn't. I'm doing that again. I happen to have canned and
jarred gravy and stuffing mixes on hand. She got others to do
potatoes and the sweet potato thing and was okay with my
offerings because I won't do untried recipes either.
She might also have made this request because of a summer party
where I brought six tubs of ice cream including Oatly Coffee
flavor (which was delicious).
What killed me on Cinco de Mayo was she had someone prepare the
taco meat without the seasoning packet. That was bland as all
hell. I have therefore sworn to reveal nothing about any of my
recipes from then on.
The boeuf bourgignon was never served at her house, but I might
give that a try for Christmas if the price of beef isn't insane.
#Post#: 72049--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: DaDancingPsych Date: November 27, 2021, 4:23 pm
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A true potluck is just that... luck. One person might like / be
able to eat everything or not much at all. However, a party can
spoil easily if nine people all bring the same dish or when one
individual is only able to eat the dish that they brought. So, I
don't think that it's a poor choice for the host to balance
things a bit. I do think it's a bit much to insist that you
remove something from your dish, but I don't think it's out of
line for an organizer to have a conversation with you. "I see
that you are bringing the brussels sprouts. I am trying to
ensure that Vegan Participant has a few dishes that they can
enjoy. Your recipe has bacon, correct?" That would open the door
for the OP to confirm and let it be the organizer's problem or
to offer to bring a second dish without the offending
ingredient. But I would never insist that someone change the
recipe.
I also think that we all have to take responsibilities for our
own stomachs. If I know that there is a chance that I might walk
away from a potluck without a full stomach, then I might have a
snack ready for the drive home. Or I might offer to bring an
additional dish so that there are a few things that I enjoy. But
a potluck is not supposed to be about the food, it's about the
socialization, so I don't find it the end of the world if the
entire menu is not to my liking.
#Post#: 72052--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: Venus193 Date: November 28, 2021, 10:51 am
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Update:
The person who had agreed to bring the sprouts ended up having
an emergency with her dog, so she didn't come to the party. PQ
texted me before I left for the store to pick up 2 bunches of
asparagus, for which she paid me. Vegan Participant brought
vegan stuffing and roasted veg. The asparagus was split into
two portions to enable VP and me to avoid the parmesan cheese.
Another guest brought a vegan pasta dish which PQ couldn't eat
because she doesn't tolerate spices. There were other
contributions.
I didn't have to make the boxed stuffing I brought, but made the
cranberry sauces (two bags, made with Splenda; one with mandarin
oranges added), gravy (two different commercial brands + bay
leaves and poultry seasoning), and the fruit cocktail dessert,
which included black cherry jello made with Cherry Kijafa. I
also carved the 12-lb turkey because no one else had any
experience with this and we didn't want to see the turkey ripped
to pieces.
With a few more guests than originally expected, the turkey was
picked clean an hour later. Someone actually brought two boxes
of KFC chicken, which was eaten by latecomers.
I did finally find out that PQ's mother never taught her how to
cook and that she had never made anything truly from scratch;
making everything from boxes and cans. This explained a lot.
#Post#: 72098--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: mime Date: November 29, 2021, 11:20 pm
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[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=2220.msg72052#msg72052
date=1638118293]
Update:
and the fruit cocktail dessert, which included black cherry
jello made with Cherry Kijafa.
[/quote]
Ummm ... I might need to know more about this...
#Post#: 72129--------------------------------------------------
Re: When Someone Requests that You Compromise Your Recipe
By: Venus193 Date: December 1, 2021, 6:49 am
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Thanks for asking! Here it is:
1 box Black Cherry Jello (I recommend the sugar-free)
6 oz boiling water
8-10 oz of Cherry Kijafa wine
Various fresh fruits. Recommended:
blueberries / raspberries / blackberries
strawberries
pineapple
cherries (maraschino, if fresh are unavailable)
Refrigerate the wine overnight before beginning this. Prepare
the jello with 6 oz boiling water and continue to stir until the
steam dissipates. pour in wine to make 16 oz and stir for one
minute before refrigerating overnight. Do not add the fruit.
Next day:
Clean fruit, quarter strawbs, and cut pineapple into bite-sized
pieces. Distribute into bowls or stemware and add spoonfuls of
the set gelatin. Serves 6.
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