2020-07-25 // coming out!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Y'all! My wife came out as a lesbian to me last night, and I'm SUPER
happy for her! She's been out as "bi" for a long time, but she's had
some revelations over the last month or so and realized that that label
didn't fit. I'm surprised, but not, at the same time. But: huzzah, the
gap between her inner identity and how she presents is closing! And
that's really what coming out is about, I think.
About a year and a half or so ago, we kind of went about exploring an
open relationship. As is usually the case with fledgling polyamorists
opening an existing, longstanding relationship, it turned into a
dumpster fire super fast. Put most frankly, we weren't ready. You've
got to do a lot of introspection before you can do that sort of thing
ethically (and I realize that for many that might read this, "ethically"
and "open relationship" don't jive).
Anyway, my wife, C., dated a fellow and I dated my friend, A. We
didn't handle the dynamic well at all, and C. asked us to close our
relationship again. I, uh... well, that was a hard experience. We hurt
our lovers badly doing that, and I'm not proud of that at all.
But here we are. C. is out! I'm really happy for her. I can't profess to
know what repressing your sexuality for 30+ years is like, but I'm sure
it's a huge weight off of her shoulders. I love her so much, and I've
been both unable to sleep and unable to wipe the smile off of my face.
:)
I'm sure at some point, the nature of our relationship will change and
we'll be open to other romantic relationships, but I don't want to
rush things at all. We've got a lot of talking to do about boundaries,
expectations, and how we treat and respect each other and other people
who may come into our lives.
Fortunately, we've got a lot of close poly and queer friends, so C. has
plenty of love and support from not just me, but our whole tribe. <3
