An unexpected emotion roller coaster
                                           Friday, November 22, 2019

Oh boy, feels good to be back at home!

Feels good, indeed. I'm coming back to this rag I've come to call my
gopher home after quite a bit. First thing I noticed upon connection
was my user phlog was nowhere to be found.

- Then I noticed the "Inactive sundogs" area. It's there, of course.
- So I post something and get out of there, right? Nope!
- Trying to sftp in gives "Public key refused". Now I was beginning
  to cold sweat.
- Time to fire an email. First things first: let's look for my last
  email to Solderpunk to get his email address.
- Then I found *HIS* last email, from 6 months back. I had had the
  dubious honor of being the first mothballed sundog because of
  inactivity.
- Ugh, that sinking feeling...

I sent that email anyway, and waited. This story had a happy ending.
As it happens, stray sundogs are not banned here, we're welcome back
as far as there's capacity. Me, being the lucky bastard I am, have
been allowed back into the fold. Now, as far as I can tell, not only
am I the first expelled sundog, but the first returning one too.

But... To be frank, those nine hours I spent in what I can only
describe as uneasiness, or even a mild heartache. No one to blame
but myself.

And that got me thinking.

It's weird how sometimes you get to realize how much right your
mom or grandma were when they used to pass those timeless drops of
wisdom on to you. Those, in turn, they got from their elders. You
know, things like:

    "You won't appreciate what you have until you lose it"

Yes, abueli, you were fully right. As you always were.

Grandma had difficulty reading and she could barely write. But she
always was a bottomless well of wisdom, love, and caring for any
sentient being getting in the range of her kindhearted aura.
An unrelenting optimist, her ways even reflected her own name:
Esperanza, Hope in English.

At this point in my life I've probably come upon thousands of
people. She still stands as the greatest person I've ever met.

God! I miss you abueli.

                            In loving memory

                         ESPERANZA MARTÍNEZ ORTA
                           3.8.1922 - 14.6.2005