Subj : The Collapse of Roman Imperialism
To : All
From : Walter Traprock
Date : Tue Apr 03 2007 10:33 pm
From: Walter Traprock <
[email protected]>
Bill and Enid were coming back through Tadger's Field when suddenly, they saw
the collapse of Roman Imperialism.
"Gosh," said Bill.
"So, a combination of factors, both economic and social, has brought down the
mightiest empire the world has yet seen," murmured Enid.
Soon they were home, and gobbling up their tea.
Enid inclined to the theory that imperialism of any sort was a self-defeating
process, and she argued her case forcefully until Mrs. Brown sent them both off
to bed.
"Good Heavens," she said. "It won't be the first empire that's collapsed," and
she tucked them up and snuffed out the candle. But secretly, she was worried.
What would replace the Roman hegemony? Would it mean a return to... she could
hardly bring herself to think of it...
Mr. Brown returned home late that night. He had had a bad day at work.
Someone had thrown a heavy object at him and broken four of his ribs, and he
had caught his leg in a plough and severed it below the knee. As if that
wasn't enough, he'd broken his nose sorting turnips, and his heart had stopped
beating for three minutes. He flopped down in the chair, killing the cat.
"They're all talking about it down at the warren," he said, pulling his boots
off.
"What, dear?" said Mrs. Brown innocently.
"You know..." he said impatiently, breaking one of his legs just below the
knee, "the collapse of Roman Imperialism."
"I know," admitted Mrs. Brown, "it worried me stiff when the children told me
about it." She put some butter on the table.
"Mmm... it's nice with butter," said Mr. Brown.
"I suppose," said Mrs. Brown, "that what with the collapse of Roman
Imperialism, it'll mean a return to... "
"Sssh!" said Mr. Brown, wrapping a tourniquet round his arm to stop the
bleeding. "The children."
But Bill and Enid were wide awake in their beds, listening. What did the
collapse of Roman Imperialism mean for the ordinary Briton? What was it a
return to... ?
They were still awake an hour later when Mr. Brown finished the table and came
to bed, damaging his skull on the door jamb.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
--- BBBS/NT v4.01 Flag-5
* Origin: FidoNet MONTE <--> alt.fan.monty-python (1:379/45)
