i dont usually talk about it but when i was younger i lived some pretty fucked up shit,
a lot of bad times and troubles for me and my family and i kind of got used to it.
Now it's been quite a while since everything is going really smooth that i find it hard
to realize. I have this feeling sometimes that my house of cards is gonna collapse.
But i dont care, i enjoy every moment to the fullest, even the dumb or simple things
like going for groceries or going to the gym.
And when something bad will happen i will find a way to deal with it. it makes
no sense to stress myself now.
i like this new version of myself, always calm and "rational", being stressed and
anxious for something i don't have control about is stupid.
everything is gonna fix itself in the end, in some way, i'm sure about it.
I dont know why i'm sharing this with you, maybe it will give u hope, maybe it's
gonna make you envious.
And that's normal, when i was having a hard time i used to be so envious of other
people. But now i feel like i learned how to be happy for other people achievements.
It's not a challenge, there is no competition, it's a journey and everybody has a
different one. just enjoy it. One day we will be 80 years old thinking about the
good old times, so lets live this time to the fullest even when problems arise.
P.s. Lately i'm really getting in touch with chinese culture, so many different
things from us, they got some really good movies, i suggest you everything by
Wang kar-wai.
