Been very happy with the switch to Debian. It's nicer than
anticipated not updating all the time. Feels like I get more
done and am more comfortable. Thinking I'm going to try to
make a custom ISO as a project so I can have a ready-to-go
install ISO for myself with all the programs I like. Seems
like a fun project and a good way to learn more about the
whole process.
I'm doing okay- been a little busy and haven't had much time
to write things out here. Helping friends move still, and
working on personal projects in my week off. Making a little
book of information on my plants so I have all their needs in
one place. It's coming along well! Need to figure out a nice
binding that lets me easily add pages without being too clunky
or unpleasant.
My favorite plant right now is the Plumosa Fern, which isn't
actually a fern. It's in the lilly family. Really small, soft
leaves that look delicate but are surprisingly hardy. It's been
a very forgiving plant for me and is absolutely beautiful. Also
fond of a little Hinoki Cypress ("Just Dandy" variety) that I'm
keeping as a bonsai, albeit a crappy one until I can start shaping
it. I'm letting it adjust properly to its pot and position first
while I research how not to kill this one. My last attempt at
bonsai was not appreciated by the tree and I think I went too fast.
Otherwise, been taking time to work on mental health while I'm
doing well. Making good progress there, figuring out better ways
to cope that aren't dissociative. It's a challenge because it
would be so easy to go back to dissociating everything but it's
not what I want and I'm happier focusing on an integrative
approach. It's just a challenge to relearn things.
Catch-up article:
https://owlsyspeeps.dreamwidth.org/45888.html
TL;DR: I no longer consider myself to be plural at this point
because I've been working on fusion. Wow, I need to update my
tilde site, huh?
It's funny that fusion has given me a totally different perspective
on plurality. I see it differently than I did before, at least in
my own case. I can understand why academia sees it as one person
that's subdivided and dissociated now because that's how it looks
after fusing. Didn't feel the way at the time though, so it's an
odd incongruency to process. Either way, I feel more complete within
myself now, like I'm filling my own holes in a way I couldn't before.
It's still an ongoing process but it's been good for me.
Working on another article related to that since there are nearly
no resources on fusion for systems, and if I have an experience
that gives me the ability to fill a resource gap, I want to do what
I can. Doubly so when the topic is full of misinformation and
misunderstandings of what's actually going on. The plural community
gets a LOT wrong; for crying out loud, guys, it's not murder or death.
It's the opposite. It's making everything in your mind present and
accepted, all at once. Nothing goes away or dies. It's all still there,
even the parts you don't like. That's what makes it so powerful. All
of you is there at the same time instead of only one part at a time.
All of your complexity coexists within you. Everything is there, and
no part of your identity dies.
The one resource I've found on fusion from someone else who's experienced
it:
https://www.sidran.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Understanding-Integration.pdf
My last college quarter before I get my associate's degree starts next week.
Wish me luck! It's on to the cybersec bachelor's after that.
