Still happy about the computer issue we finally
found a fix for yesterday. Still running without
issue right now despite some very heavy Firefox
use.
Currently making a nice bookmarks directory for our
qutebrowser homepage since there's no bookmarks tab
there and we use it as a backup for when Firefox is
borked or overkill. Honestly want to use it more, it's
pretty nice.
Venting ahead, mostly about compulsive caregiving and
a friend with suicidal ideation issues.
No obligations to read anything.
Yet again, someone has told us we're the only reason
they haven't killed themselves. This is the third time
now and it feels like everyone we get to know does this
to us at some point. It's intensely frustrating and
stressful because we can't step away when this happens.
These are our friends and family, and they're genuinely
suffering when this happens. They mean it when they say
that we're their only support. And we don't have other
people we can lean on. We're stuck trying to play therapist
and life support to mentally ill friends because we can't
not take care of people when they need it. It's incredibly
terrifying to step back. It feels like we're abandoning
them if we do that. And today that same person posted
vent art to a group chat that was very clearly suicidal
ideation that was just one step short of drawing themself
as dead. The pressure is getting to be too much but we
really are their only support. Even their parents aren't
helping them. We did our best to draft up a plan with them
on how to get help since they do want help, but it has
to be executed successfully. They're at a point where if
the plan fails, I'm 95% sure they will attempt. It's too
much. On top of that, our mom is outsourcing her work to
us and using us as a second brain- which we're fine with,
but it's a lot on top of this. At least the college quarter
doesn't start up for another month.
