I haven't really been here in a bit, oops. The semester has started &
things are plenty busy. I'm working part-time as well as doing
classes, so my 8:30-5:30 is essentially completely booked every
day. It's not overwhelming yet, because my job is chill enough that I
can work on homework and stuff when tickets aren't coming in. It's
mostly just inconvenient that I can't really do anything else during
the day. Like, I want to try and schedule therapy sessions but there's
only a very specific timeslot that would work for me. If the on-campus
folks can't work with that, then I have to try and find someone else
and that involves dealing with insurance and ugh.
It'll be alright, though. I've been feeling weird about career stuff
lately. I think the infinite possibilities of adulthood are getting to
me just a bit. That, and the idea of a "tech job" is starting to seem
less and less appealing. I wish my college had botany classes or
something, but all of their biology stuff is pre-med and requires
years of chemistry pre-reqs anyway.
It's easy to look at other people and feel like I'm way behind in
everything. I haven't done an internship yet. Everyone seems like they
spend all their time working on side projects and grinding leetcode
and applying for a billion internships while I'm just sitting
here. I'm good at school, but that's basically it. Life stuff is much
harder.
Anyway, I should figure out how to schedule therapy. It'll probably
just help me out a lot. And recently I've been wanting to talk to
someone who can be objective since they aren't embedded in the rest of
my life. Like, I can talk about everything to my partner, but they're
in the thick of it too, you know?
I also need to start doing a better job of using up my time. I have a
lot of empty time, where I'm not really doing anything other than just
kind of sitting there. I need to practice working on things when I
have downtime, and not just giant time blocks on the weekend. I feel
like this weird virtual period has just killed my work ethic. Or maybe
I'm just more tired these days.
Okay. I have today off so I'm going to try and accomplish some
things. Hopefully it all goes well.
