Something in my mind keeps bothering me...
It seems that less people is getting filthy rich while the other is getting
filthy as rich ones.
Is not a mere word play but something that really keeps bothering
me.
I mean, in the past many rich persons were disliked by their careless and lazy
way to be but nowadays seems that most people are acting exactly in this way
despite not being rich at all.
Looking at a video of a teen recording his game achievements on his TV
screen while the screen itself mirrored him half-naked with his fat rolls and
childish way of speaking that's probably not related to someone of his age make
me thought about it even more.
But that's an example of countless we can find elsewhere.

We aren't living in a cold damp house made of rocks, we are not breaking
our back for a can of beens, we are not worrying about bad harvesting seasons
anymore.
Today we got everything we need. Really.

What went wrong? Why are we sad, alone, bored, distressed, addicted to money and
ready to put up a fight for almost nothing important?
I've come up to think that humans constantly feel the need of something new and
the leadership of someone/something that brings them something new.

When I was a kid my parent forbid me to own any kind of videogame. Anyone in my
classroom had at least one except me. I don't even had a computer and I was sad
about it.
Nowadays I have lots of games and computers but I'm not happy at all anymore.
What made me feel sad was not the lack of something the others had but the lack
of something that made me feel part of a community.

What today is pushed to keep people together is not only what trends "commands"
to have via its medias but the opportunity to be part of a huge media and grab
some piece of fame for ourselves. That's even worse. Why? I'll explain it.

When I was a kid all the time I had was spent about playing with toys, riding
the bike and reading books. Most of this time was spent all alone by myself.
I was sad but at the same time and I don't know why I was convinced that's
normal.
I've lived away from videogames, phones, BBS, IRC and everything was needed
to stay online like people do nowadays.

I lived the exact opposite of how I feel today: I was calm, cheerish, patient,
hopeful and creative. The few things I had were kept in almost perfect shape
because if a toy gets broken I will not probably get a new one.
Nowadays I've got lot of computers and games and if I think how I was used to
think of someone like me when I was a kid I should feel happy.
But I'm not happy at all.

I realized that having too much make me tired of everything.
I'm so tired of everything that I don't care how to keep things in good shape.
When something is broken I simply throw it away and get a new one.

I should feel filthy rich but only the filth is what I've accomplished to get.

I realized that how things are kept reflects on how other things are kept as
well, like yourself, your mind, your relationships too...
But sometimes we aren't able to understand that the indifference we feel is the
indifference we have inside. I see too many people being nostalgic about good
old times but none of them made a step back to get rid of what he didn't had
back then.

I feel that society is like a sinking boat with people attacking each other to
save breadcrumbs while governments are slowly destroying the hull in name of
progress. Those who try to repair the hull are too few, demotivated and almost
killed by their good intentions.

It's hard to choose to keep repairing the impossible or destroying what
possible especially when you feel like those pigs who ruined everything.
I'm sure that the answer is already known without even being aware of it.
It's inside: stay humble.