Whenever a new applicant arrived at the Temple hoping to
fill some recently-vacated position, 1 Old Madame Jinyu—the
Abbess Over All Clans And Concerns—was respectfully invited
to attend the interview.
Masters and senior monks would begin with the customary
questions, such as “What frameworks have you used?” and “How
many years’ experience do you have with each?” 2 The
questions would grow increasingly technical, and old Jinyu
would appear to nod off in her corner. Eventually, though,
her beady eyes would snap open, sharp and clear as a
raven’s; then she would point to the whiteboard with her
cane and say:
“The Imperial Army wishes to catalog its many weapons. It
recognizes four types: the staff, the spear, the sword, and
the knife. Each has a length, which may vary from weapon to
weapon. Each has a weight, which is calculated from the
length according to the weapon’s type. In all respects, a
knife is merely a sword whose length is exactly two chi.
Now: show me the classes you would create!”
Then, arms folded, she would sit back and observe. Sometimes
she would leave the room after the class diagram had been
drawn; sometimes she would stay and alter the problem,
observing the changes made in response.
This puzzled the younger monks, who would ask her timidly:
“Why do you not read the many résumé pages supplied, or
inquire about the candidate’s proficiency in our chosen
technologies?”
Jinyu would then thwock them with her cane and reply: “Many
good hammers may be found in the stalls of the marketplace,
and many bad ones as well. When autumn blows the shingles
from the temple roof, I do not care whether a tool once
belonged to the Emperor’s most celebrated roof-builder, if
it cannot drive my little tack straight and true.”
1 It may surprise you to learn that positions were usually
vacated peacefully and voluntarily by their
occupiers—provided that you regard honorable suicide as an
extremely formal method of resignation.
2 Questions such as “What is your blood type?” and “How
would you rate your tolerance for physical pain?” were
usually handled by Human Resources.
