The Codeless Code: Case 121 Where Angels Fear to Thread
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The nun Satou approached Java master Banzen and said:
“There is a processing bottleneck which I believe I can
eliminate by means of multiple worker threads. Yet I have
heard this proverb: If you are confronted with a problem and
say, ‘I shall use threads’, you now have two problems.”
Banzen replied: “The saying is old, but not a true proverb.
In place of threads I have heard XML, regular expressions,
singletons, and AWK. It is merely a formula of one parameter
which may be bound to anything disagreeable. There is more
wisdom in the barking of dogs.”
The nun considered this, and said: “So if you are confronted
with a problem and say, ‘I shall use the Proverb of the Two
Problems’, you now have two problems.”
Banzen gave the nun a slight nod, which pleased her. Yet he
also held up his index finger. “That the words are hollow
does not make them false. Threads are as the fabled Tsurugi
of Infinite Sharpness, whose blade can slice an enemy in two
while it is still a foot from his body, yet which severs one
finger of the wielder every time it is drawn from its
scabbard.”
The nun asked: “How will I know when I have learned enough
to use threads wisely?”
Banzen replied: “When you no longer wish to use them.”
