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# 2025-07-15 - The Man Whom The Trees Loved by Algernon Blackwood | |
Tree Fairy | |
I am posting this full text for inclusion in my "Interludes" | |
personal anthology. The key conceptual theme i took from this story | |
is "relationship". Relationship is inevitable, and it happens | |
either in a positive, intentional way, or a negative, shadowy way. | |
Relationship exists with each person, place, and idea that a person | |
comes into contact with. It makes perfect sense for friends, ideas, | |
or trees to be a rival and a threat to a romantic relationship, | |
depending on the attitudes of all involved. | |
See also: | |
Blackwood's Greenwood | |
# Chapter 1 | |
He painted trees as by some special divining instinct of their essential | |
qualities. He understood them. He knew why in an oak forest, for | |
instance, each individual was utterly distinct from its fellows, and why | |
no two beeches in the whole world were alike. People asked him down to | |
paint a favorite lime or silver birch, for he caught the individuality | |
of a tree as some catch the individuality of a horse. How he managed it | |
was something of a puzzle, for he never had painting lessons, his | |
drawing was often wildly inaccurate, and, while his perception of a Tree | |
Personality was true and vivid, his rendering of it might almost | |
approach the ludicrous. Yet the character and personality of that | |
particular tree stood there alive beneath his brush--shining, frowning, | |
dreaming, as the case might be, friendly or hostile, good or evil. It | |
emerged. | |
There was nothing else in the wide world that he could paint; flowers | |
and landscapes he only muddled away into a smudge; with people he was | |
helpless and hopeless; also with animals. Skies he could sometimes | |
manage, or effects of wind in foliage, but as a rule he left these all | |
severely alone. He kept to trees, wisely following an instinct that was | |
guided by love. It was quite arresting, this way he had of making a tree | |
look almost like a being--alive. It approached the uncanny. | |
"Yes, Sanderson knows what he's doing when he paints a tree!" thought | |
old David Bittacy, C.B., late of the Woods and Forests. "Why, you can | |
almost hear it rustle. You can smell the thing. You can hear the rain | |
drip through its leaves. You can almost see the branches move. It | |
grows." For in this way somewhat he expressed his satisfaction, half to | |
persuade himself that the twenty guineas were well spent (since his wife | |
thought otherwise), and half to explain this uncanny reality of life | |
that lay in the fine old cedar framed above his study table. | |
Yet in the general view the mind of Mr. Bittacy was held to be austere, | |
not to say morose. Few divined in him the secretly tenacious love of | |
nature that had been fostered by years spent in the forests and jungles | |
of the eastern world. It was odd for an Englishman, due possibly to that | |
Eurasian ancestor. Surreptitiously, as though half ashamed of it, he had | |
kept alive a sense of beauty that hardly belonged to his type, and was | |
unusual for its vitality. Trees, in particular, nourished it. He, also, | |
understood trees, felt a subtle sense of communion with them, born | |
perhaps of those years he had lived in caring for them, guarding, | |
protecting, nursing, years of solitude among their great shadowy | |
presences. He kept it largely to himself, of course, because he knew the | |
world he lived in. HE also kept it from his wife--to some extent. He | |
knew it came between them, knew that she feared it, was opposed. But | |
what he did not know, or realize at any rate, was the extent to which | |
she grasped the power which they wielded over his life. Her fear, he | |
judged, was simply due to those years in India, when for weeks at a time | |
his calling took him away from her into the jungle forests, while she | |
remained at home dreading all manner of evils that might befall him. | |
This, of course, explained her instinctive opposition to the passion for | |
woods that still influenced and clung to him. It was a natural survival | |
of those anxious days of waiting in solitude for his safe return. | |
For Mrs. Bittacy, daughter of an evangelical clergy-man, was a | |
self-sacrificing woman, who in most things found a happy duty in sharing | |
her husband's joys and sorrows to the point of self-obliteration. Only | |
in this matter of the trees she was less successful than in others. It | |
remained a problem difficult of compromise. | |
He knew, for instance, that what she objected to in this portrait of the | |
cedar on their lawn was really not the price he had given for it, but | |
the unpleasant way in which the transaction emphasized this breach | |
between their common interests--the only one they had, but deep. | |
Sanderson, the artist, earned little enough money by his strange talent; | |
such checks were few and far between. The owners of fine or interesting | |
trees who cared to have them painted singly were rare indeed, and the | |
"studies" that he made for his own delight he also kept for his own | |
delight. Even were there buyers, he would not sell them. Only a few, and | |
these peculiarly intimate friends, might even see them, for he disliked | |
to hear the undiscerning criticisms of those who did not understand. Not | |
that he minded laughter at his craftsmanship--he admitted it with | |
scorn--but that remarks about the personality of the tree itself could | |
easily wound or anger him. He resented slighting observations concerning | |
them, as though insults offered to personal friends who could not answer | |
for themselves. He was instantly up in arms. | |
"It really is extraordinary," said a Woman who Understood, "that you can | |
make that cypress seem an individual, when in reality all cypresses are | |
so _exactly_ alike." | |
And though the bit of calculated flattery had come so near to saying the | |
right, true, thing, Sanderson flushed as though she had slighted a | |
friend beneath his very nose. Abruptly he passed in front of her and | |
turned the picture to the wall. | |
"Almost as queer," he answered rudely, copying her silly emphasis, "as | |
that _you_ should have imagined individuality in your husband, Madame, | |
when in reality all men are so _exactly_ alike!" | |
Since the only thing that differentiated her husband from the mob was | |
the money for which she had married him, Sanderson's relations with that | |
particular family terminated on the spot, chance of prospective orders | |
with it. His sensitiveness, perhaps, was morbid. At any rate the way to | |
reach his heart lay through his trees. He might be said to love trees. | |
He certainly drew a splendid inspiration from them, and the source of a | |
man's inspiration, be it music, religion, or a woman, is never a safe | |
thing to criticize. | |
"I do think, perhaps, it was just a little extravagant, dear," said Mrs. | |
Bittacy, referring to the cedar check, "when we want a lawnmower so | |
badly too. But, as it gives you such pleasure--" | |
"It reminds me of a certain day, Sophia," replied the old gentleman, | |
looking first proudly at herself, then fondly at the picture, "now long | |
gone by. It reminds me of another tree--that Kentish lawn in the spring, | |
birds singing in the lilacs, and some one in a muslin frock waiting | |
patiently beneath a certain cedar--not the one in the picture, I know, | |
but--" | |
"I was not waiting," she said indignantly, "I was picking fir-cones for | |
the schoolroom fire--" | |
"Fir-cones, my dear, do not grow on cedars, and schoolroom fires were | |
not made in June in my young days." | |
"And anyhow it isn't the same cedar." | |
"It has made me fond of all cedars for its sake," he answered, "and it | |
reminds me that you are the same young girl still--" | |
She crossed the room to his side, and together they looked out of the | |
window where, upon the lawn of their Hampshire cottage, a ragged Lebanon | |
stood in a solitary state. | |
"You're as full of dreams as ever," she said gently, "and I don't regret | |
the check a bit--really. Only it would have been more real if it had | |
been the original tree, wouldn't it?" | |
"That was blown down years ago. I passed the place last year, and | |
there's not a sign of it left," he replied tenderly. And presently, when | |
he released her from his side, she went up to the wall and carefully | |
dusted the picture Sanderson had made of the cedar on their present | |
lawn. She went all round the frame with her tiny handkerchief, standing | |
on tiptoe to reach the top rim. | |
"What I like about it," said the old fellow to himself when his wife had | |
left the room, "is the way he has made it live. All trees have it, of | |
course, but a cedar taught it to me first--the 'something' trees possess | |
that make them know I'm there when I stand close and watch. I suppose I | |
felt it then because I was in love, and love reveals life everywhere." | |
He glanced a moment at the Lebanon looming gaunt and somber through the | |
gathering dusk. A curious wistful expression danced a moment through his | |
eyes. "Yes, Sanderson has seen it as it is," he murmured, "solemnly | |
dreaming there its dim hidden life against the Forest edge, and as | |
different from that other tree in Kent as I am from--from the vicar, | |
say. It's quite a stranger, too. I don't know anything about it really. | |
That other cedar I loved; this old fellow I respect. Friendly | |
though--yes, on the whole quite friendly. He's painted the friendliness | |
right enough. He saw that. I'd like to know that man better," he added. | |
"I'd like to ask him how he saw so clearly that it stands there between | |
this cottage and the Forest--yet somehow more in sympathy with us than | |
with the mass of woods behind--a sort of go-between. _That_ I never | |
noticed before. I see it now--through his eyes. It stands there like a | |
sentinel--protective rather." | |
He turned away abruptly to look through the window. He saw the great | |
encircling mass of gloom that was the Forest, fringing their little | |
lawn. It pressed up closer in the darkness. The prim garden with its | |
formal beds of flowers seemed an impertinence almost--some little | |
colored insect that sought to settle on a sleeping monster--some gaudy | |
fly that danced impudently down the edge of a great river that could | |
engulf it with a toss of its smallest wave. That Forest with its | |
thousand years of growth and its deep spreading being was some such | |
slumbering monster, yes. Their cottage and garden stood too near its | |
running lip. When the winds were strong and lifted its shadowy skirts of | |
black and purple... He loved this feeling of the Forest Personality; he | |
had always loved it. | |
"Queer," he reflected, "awfully queer, that trees should bring me such a | |
sense of dim, vast living! I used to feel it particularly, I remember, | |
in India; in Canadian woods as well; but never in little English woods | |
till here. And Sanderson's the only man I ever knew who felt it too. | |
He's never said so, but there's the proof," and he turned again to the | |
picture that he loved. A thrill of unaccustomed life ran through him as | |
he looked. "I wonder; by Jove, I wonder," his thoughts ran on, "whether | |
a tree--er--in any lawful meaning of the term can be--alive. I remember | |
some writing fellow telling me long ago that trees had once been moving | |
things, animal organisms of some sort, that had stood so long feeding, | |
sleeping, dreaming, or something, in the same place, that they had lost | |
the power to get away...!" | |
Fancies flew pell-mell about his mind, and, lighting a cheroot, he | |
dropped into an armchair beside the open window and let them play. | |
Outside the blackbirds whistled in the shrubberies across the lawn. He | |
smelt the earth and trees and flowers, the perfume of mown grass, and | |
the bits of open heath-land far away in the heart of the woods. The | |
summer wind stirred very faintly through the leaves. But the great New | |
Forest hardly raised her sweeping skirts of black and purple shadow. | |
Mr. Bittacy, however, knew intimately every detail of that wilderness of | |
trees within. He knew all the purple coombs splashed with yellow waves | |
of gorse; sweet with juniper and myrtle, and gleaming with clear and | |
dark-eyed pools that watched the sky. There hawks hovered, circling hour | |
by hour, and the flicker of the peewit's flight with its melancholy, | |
petulant cry, deepened the sense of stillness. He knew the solitary | |
pines, dwarfed, tufted, vigorous, that sang to every lost wind, | |
travelers like the gypsies who pitched their bush-like tents beneath | |
them; he knew the shaggy ponies, with foals like baby centaurs; the | |
chattering jays, the milky call of the cuckoos in the spring, and the | |
boom of the bittern from the lonely marshes. The undergrowth of watching | |
hollies, he knew too, strange and mysterious, with their dark, | |
suggestive beauty, and the yellow shimmer of their pale dropped leaves. | |
Here all the Forest lived and breathed in safety, secure from | |
mutilation. No terror of the axe could haunt the peace of its vast | |
subconscious life, no terror of devastating Man afflict it with the | |
dread of premature death. It knew itself supreme; it spread and preened | |
itself without concealment. It set no spires to carry warnings, for no | |
wind brought messages of alarm as it bulged outwards to the sun and | |
stars. | |
But, once its leafy portals left behind, the trees of the countryside | |
were otherwise. The houses threatened them; they knew themselves in | |
danger. The roads were no longer glades of silent turf, but noisy, cruel | |
ways by which men came to attack them. They were civilized, cared | |
for--but cared for in order that some day they might be put to death. | |
Even in the villages, where the solemn and immemorial repose of giant | |
chestnuts aped security, the tossing of a silver birch against their | |
mass, impatient in the littlest wind, brought warning. Dust clogged | |
their leaves. The inner humming of their quiet life became inaudible | |
beneath the scream and shriek of clattering traffic. They longed and | |
prayed to enter the great Peace of the Forest yonder, but they could not | |
move. They knew, moreover, that the Forest with its august, deep | |
splendor despised and pitied them. They were a thing of artificial | |
gardens, and belonged to beds of flowers all forced to grow one way... | |
"I'd like to know that artist fellow better," was the thought upon which | |
he returned at length to the things of practical life. "I wonder if | |
Sophia would mind him for a bit--?" He rose with the sound of the gong, | |
brushing the ashes from his speckled waistcoat. He pulled the waistcoat | |
down. He was slim and spare in figure, active in his movements. In the | |
dim light, but for that silvery moustache, he might easily have passed | |
for a man of forty. "I'll suggest it to her anyhow," he decided on his | |
way upstairs to dress. His thought really was that Sanderson could | |
probably explain his world of things he had always felt about--trees. A | |
man who could paint the soul of a cedar in that way must know it all. | |
"Why not?" she gave her verdict later over the bread-and-butter pudding; | |
"unless you think he'd find it dull without companions." | |
"He would paint all day in the Forest, dear. I'd like to pick his brains | |
a bit, too, if I could manage it." | |
"You can manage anything, David," was what she answered, for this | |
elderly childless couple used an affectionate politeness long since | |
deemed old-fashioned. The remark, however, displeased her, making her | |
feel uneasy, and she did not notice his rejoinder, smiling his pleasure | |
and content--"Except yourself and our bank account, my dear." This | |
passion of his for trees was of old a bone of contention, though very | |
mild contention. It frightened her. That was the truth. The Bible, her | |
Baedeker for earth and heaven, did not mention it. Her husband, while | |
humoring her, could never alter that instinctive dread she had. He | |
soothed, but never changed her. She liked the woods, perhaps as spots | |
for shade and picnics, but she could not, as he did, love them. | |
And after dinner, with a lamp beside the open window, he read aloud from | |
_ The Times_ the evening post had brought, such fragments as he thought | |
might interest her. The custom was invariable, except on Sundays, when, | |
to please his wife, he dozed over Tennyson or Farrar as their mood might | |
be. She knitted while he read, asked gentle questions, told him his | |
voice was a "lovely reading voice," and enjoyed the little discussions | |
that occasions prompted because he always let her with them with "Ah, | |
Sophia, I had never thought of it quite in _that_ way before; but now | |
you mention it I must say I think there's something in it..." | |
For David Bittacy was wise. It was long after marriage, during his | |
months of loneliness spent with trees and forests in India, his wife | |
waiting at home in the Bungalow, that his other, deeper side had | |
developed the strange passion that she could not understand. And after | |
one or two serious attempts to let her share it with him, he had given | |
up and learned to hide it from her. He learned, that is, to speak of it | |
only casually, for since she knew it was there, to keep silence | |
altogether would only increase her pain. So from time to time he skimmed | |
the surface just to let her show him where he was wrong and think she | |
won the day. It remained a debatable land of compromise. He listened | |
with patience to her criticisms, her excursions and alarms, knowing that | |
while it gave her satisfaction, it could not change himself. The thing | |
lay in him too deep and true for change. But, for peace' sake, some | |
meeting-place was desirable, and he found it thus. | |
It was her one fault in his eyes, this religious mania carried over from | |
her upbringing, and it did no serious harm. Great emotion could shake it | |
sometimes out of her. She clung to it because her father taught it her | |
and not because she had thought it out for herself. Indeed, like many | |
women, she never really _thought_ at all, but merely reflected the | |
images of others' thinking which she had learned to see. So, wise in his | |
knowledge of human nature, old David Bittacy accepted the pain of being | |
obliged to keep a portion of his inner life shut off from the woman he | |
deeply loved. He regarded her little biblical phrases as oddities that | |
still clung to a rather fine, big soul--like horns and little useless | |
things some animals have not yet lost in the course of evolution while | |
they have outgrown their use. | |
"My dear, what is it? You frightened me!" She asked it suddenly, sitting | |
up so abruptly that her cap dropped sideways almost to her ear. For | |
David Bittacy behind his crackling paper had uttered a sharp exclamation | |
of surprise. He had lowered the sheet and was staring at her over the | |
tops of his gold glasses. | |
"Listen to this, if you please," he said, a note of eagerness in his | |
voice, "listen to this, my dear Sophia. It's from an address by Francis | |
Darwin before the Royal Society. He is president, you know, and son of | |
the great Darwin. Listen carefully, I beg you. It is _most_ significant." | |
"I _am_ listening, David," she said with some astonishment, looking up. | |
She stopped her knitting. For a second she glanced behind her. Something | |
had suddenly changed in the room, and it made her feel wide awake, | |
though before she had been almost dozing. Her husband's voice and manner | |
had introduced this new thing. Her instincts rose in warning. "_Do_ | |
read it, dear." He took a deep breath, looking first again over the rims | |
of his glasses to make quite sure of her attention. He had evidently | |
come across something of genuine interest, although herself she often | |
found the passages from these "Addresses" somewhat heavy. | |
In a deep, emphatic voice he read aloud: | |
'"It is impossible to know whether or not plants are conscious; but it | |
is consistent with the doctrine of continuity that in all living things | |
there is something psychic, and if we accept this point of view--'" | |
"_If_," she interrupted, scenting danger. | |
He ignored the interruption as a thing of slight value he was accustomed | |
to. | |
'"If we accept this point of view,'" he continued, '"we must believe | |
that in plants there exists a faint copy of _what we know as | |
consciousness in ourselves_ .'" | |
He laid the paper down and steadily stared at her. Their eyes met. He | |
had italicized the last phrase. | |
For a minute or two his wife made no reply or comment. They stared at | |
one another in silence. He waited for the meaning of the words to reach | |
her understanding with full import. Then he turned and read them again | |
in part, while she, released from that curious driving look in his eyes, | |
instinctively again glanced over her shoulder round the room. It was | |
almost as if she felt some one had come in to them unnoticed. | |
"We must believe that in plants there exists a faint copy of what we | |
know as consciousness in ourselves." | |
"_If_," she repeated lamely, feeling before the stare of those | |
questioning eyes she must say something, but not yet having gathered her | |
wits together quite. | |
"_Consciousness_," he rejoined. And then he added gravely: "That, my | |
dear, is the statement of a scientific man of the Twentieth Century." | |
Mrs. Bittacy sat forward in her chair so that her silk flounces crackled | |
louder than the newspaper. She made a characteristic little sound | |
between sniffling and snorting. She put her shoes closely together, with | |
her hands upon her knees. | |
"David," she said quietly, "I think these scientific men are simply | |
losing their heads. There is nothing in the Bible that I can remember | |
about any such thing whatsoever." | |
"Nothing, Sophia, that I can remember either," he answered patiently. | |
Then, after a pause, he added, half to himself perhaps more than to her: | |
"And, now that I come to think about it, it seems that Sanderson once | |
said something to me that was similar. | |
"Then Mr. Sanderson is a wise and thoughtful man, and a safe man," she | |
quickly took up, "if he said that." | |
For she thought her husband referred to her remark about the Bible, and | |
not to her judgment of the scientific men. And he did not correct her | |
mistake. | |
"And plants, you see, dear, are not the same as trees," she drove her | |
advantage home, "not quite, that is." | |
"I agree," said David quietly; "but both belong to the great vegetable | |
kingdom." | |
There was a moment's pause before she answered. | |
"Pah! the vegetable kingdom, indeed!" She tossed her pretty old head. | |
And into the words she put a degree of contempt that, could the | |
vegetable kingdom have heard it, might have made it feel ashamed for | |
covering a third of the world with its wonderful tangled network of | |
roots and branches, delicate shaking leaves, and its millions of spires | |
that caught the sun and wind and rain. Its very right to existence | |
seemed in question. | |
# Chapter 2 | |
Sanderson accordingly came down, and on the whole his short visit | |
was a success. Why he came at all was a mystery to those who heard of | |
it, for he never paid visits and was certainly not the kind of man to | |
court a customer. There must have been something in Bittacy he liked. | |
Mrs. Bittacy was glad when he left. He brought no dress-suit for one | |
thing, not even a dinner-jacket, and he wore very low collars with big | |
balloon ties like a Frenchman, and let his hair grow longer than was | |
nice, she felt. Not that these things were important, but that she | |
considered them symptoms of something a little disordered. The ties were | |
unnecessarily flowing. | |
For all that he was an interesting man, and, in spite of his | |
eccentricities of dress and so forth, a gentleman. "Perhaps," she | |
reflected in her genuinely charitable heart, "he had other uses for the | |
twenty guineas, an invalid sister or an old mother to support!" She had | |
no notion of the cost of brushes, frames, paints, and canvases. Also she | |
forgave him much for the sake of his beautiful eyes and his eager | |
enthusiasm of manner. So many men of thirty were already blase. | |
Still, when the visit was over, she felt relieved. She said nothing | |
about his coming a second time, and her husband, she was glad to notice, | |
had likewise made no suggestion. For, truth to tell, the way the younger | |
man engrossed the older, keeping him out for hours in the Forest, | |
talking on the lawn in the blazing sun, and in the evenings when the | |
damp of dusk came creeping out from the surrounding woods, all | |
regardless of his age and usual habits, was not quite to her taste. Of | |
course, Mr. Sanderson did not know how easily those attacks of Indian | |
fever came back, but David surely might have told him. | |
They talked trees from morning to night. It stirred in her the old | |
subconscious trail of dread, a trail that led ever into the darkness of | |
big woods; and such feelings, as her early evangelical training taught | |
her, were temptings. To regard them in any other way was to play with | |
danger. | |
Her mind, as she watched these two, was charged with curious thoughts of | |
dread she could not understand, yet feared the more on that account. The | |
way they studied that old mangy cedar was a trifle unnecessary, unwise, | |
she felt. It was disregarding the sense of proportion which deity had | |
set upon the world for men's safe guidance. | |
Even after dinner they smoked their cigars upon the low branches that | |
swept down and touched the lawn, until at length she insisted on their | |
coming in. Cedars, she had somewhere heard, were not safe after sundown; | |
it was not wholesome to be too near them; to sleep beneath them was even | |
dangerous, though what the precise danger was she had forgotten. The | |
upas was the tree she really meant. | |
At any rate she summoned David in, and Sanderson came presently after | |
him. | |
For a long time, before deciding on this peremptory step, she had | |
watched them surreptitiously from the drawing-room window--her husband | |
and her guest. The dusk enveloped them with its damp veil of gauze. She | |
saw the glowing tips of their cigars, and heard the drone of voices. | |
Bats flitted overhead, and big, silent moths whirred softly over the | |
rhododendron blossoms. And it came suddenly to her, while she watched, | |
that her husband had somehow altered these last few days--since Mr. | |
Sanderson's arrival in fact. A change had come over him, though what it | |
was she could not say. She hesitated, indeed, to search. That was the | |
instinctive dread operating in her. Provided it passed she would rather | |
not know. Small things, of course, she noticed; small outward signs. He | |
had neglected _The Times_ for one thing, left off his speckled | |
waistcoats for another. He was absent-minded sometimes; showed vagueness | |
in practical details where hitherto he showed decision. And--he had | |
begun to talk in his sleep again. | |
These and a dozen other small peculiarities came suddenly upon her with | |
the rush of a combined attack. They brought with them a faint distress | |
that made her shiver. Momentarily her mind was startled, then confused, | |
as her eyes picked out the shadowy figures in the dusk, the cedar | |
covering them, the Forest close at their backs. And then, before she | |
could think, or seek internal guidance as her habit was, this whisper, | |
muffled and very hurried, ran across her brain: "It's Mr. Sanderson. | |
Call David in at once!" | |
And she had done so. Her shrill voice crossed the lawn and died away | |
into the Forest, quickly smothered. No echo followed it. The sound fell | |
dead against the rampart of a thousand listening trees. | |
"The damp is so very penetrating, even in summer," she murmured when | |
they came obediently. She was half surprised at her open audacity, half | |
repentant. They came so meekly at her call. "And my husband is sensitive | |
to fever from the East. No, _please do not throw away your cigars. We | |
can sit by the open window and enjoy the evening while you smoke_." | |
She was very talkative for a moment; subconscious excitement was the | |
cause. | |
"It is so still--so wonderfully still," she went on, as no one spoke; | |
"so peaceful, and the air so very sweet ... and God is always near to | |
those who need His aid." The words slipped out before she realized quite | |
what she was saying, yet fortunately, in time to lower her voice, for no | |
one heard them. They were, perhaps, an instinctive expression of relief. | |
It flustered her that she could have said the thing at all. | |
Sanderson brought her shawl and helped to arrange the chairs; she | |
thanked him in her old-fashioned, gentle way, declining the lamps which | |
he had offered to light. "They attract the moths and insects so, I | |
think!" | |
The three of them sat there in the gloaming. Mr. Bittacy's white | |
moustache and his wife's yellow shawl gleaming at either end of the | |
little horseshoe, Sanderson with his wild black hair and shining eyes | |
midway between them. The painter went on talking softly, continuing | |
evidently the conversation begun with his host beneath the cedar. Mrs. | |
Bittacy, on her guard, listened--uneasily. | |
"For trees, you see, rather conceal themselves in daylight. They reveal | |
themselves fully only after sunset. I never _know_ a tree," he bowed | |
here slightly towards the lady as though to apologize for something he | |
felt she would not quite understand or like, "until I've seen it in the | |
night. Your cedar, for instance," looking towards her husband again so | |
that Mrs. Bittacy caught the gleaming of his turned eyes, "I failed with | |
badly at first, because I did it in the morning. You shall see to-morrow | |
what I mean--that first sketch is upstairs in my portfolio; it's quite | |
another tree to the one you bought. That view"--he leaned forward, | |
lowering his voice--"I caught one morning about two o'clock in very | |
faint moonlight and the stars. I saw the naked being of the thing--" | |
"You mean that you went out, Mr. Sanderson, at that hour?" the old lady | |
asked with astonishment and mild rebuke. She did not care particularly | |
for his choice of adjectives either. | |
"I fear it was rather a liberty to take in another's house, perhaps," he | |
answered courteously. "But, having chanced to wake, I saw the tree from | |
my window, and made my way downstairs." | |
"It's a wonder Boxer didn't bit you; he sleeps loose in the hall," she | |
said. | |
"On the contrary. The dog came out with me. I hope," he added, "the | |
noise didn't disturb you, though it's rather late to say so. I feel | |
quite guilty." His white teeth showed in the dusk as he smiled. A smell | |
of earth and flowers stole in through the window on a breath of | |
wandering air. | |
Mrs. Bittacy said nothing at the moment. "We both sleep like tops," put | |
in her husband, laughing. "You're a courageous man, though, Sanderson, | |
and, by Jove, the picture justifies you. Few artist would have taken so | |
much trouble, though I read once that Holman Hunt, Rossetti, or some one | |
of that lot, painted all night in his orchard to get an effect of | |
moonlight that he wanted." | |
He chattered on. His wife was glad to hear his voice; it made her feel | |
more easy in her mind. But presently the other held the floor again, and | |
her thoughts grew darkened and afraid. Instinctively she feared the | |
influence on her husband. The mystery and wonder that lie in woods, in | |
forests, in great gatherings of trees everywhere, seemed so real and | |
present while he talked. | |
"The Night transfigures all things in a way," he was saying; "but | |
nothing so searchingly as trees. From behind a veil that sunlight hangs | |
before them in the day they emerge and show themselves. Even buildings | |
do that--in a measure--but trees particularly. In the daytime they | |
sleep; at night they wake, they manifest, turn active--live. You | |
remember," turning politely again in the direction of his hostess, "how | |
clearly Henley understood that?" | |
"That socialist person, you mean?" asked the lady. Her tone and accent | |
made the substantive sound criminal. It almost hissed, the way she | |
uttered it. | |
"The poet, yes," replied the artist tactfully, "the friend of Stevenson, | |
you remember, Stevenson who wrote those charming children's verses." | |
He quoted in a low voice the lines he meant. It was, for once, the time, | |
the place, and the setting all together. The words floated out across | |
the lawn towards the wall of blue darkness where the big Forest swept | |
the little garden with its league-long curve that was like the | |
shore-line of a sea. A wave of distant sound that was like surf | |
accompanied his voice, as though the wind was fain to listen too: | |
> Not to the staring Day, | |
> For all the importunate questionings he pursues | |
> In his big, violent voice, | |
> Shall those mild things of bulk and multitude, | |
> The trees--God's sentinels ... | |
> Yield of their huge, unutterable selves | |
> But at the word | |
> Of the ancient, sacerdotal Night, | |
> Night of many secrets, whose effect-- | |
> Transfiguring, hierophantic, dread-- | |
> Themselves alone may fully apprehend, | |
> They tremble and are changed: | |
> In each the uncouth, individual soul | |
> Looms forth and glooms | |
> Essential, and, their bodily presences | |
> Touched with inordinate significance, | |
> Wearing the darkness like a livery | |
> Of some mysterious and tremendous guild, | |
> They brood--they menace--they appall. | |
The voice of Mrs. Bittacy presently broke the silence that followed. | |
"I like that part about God's sentinels," she murmured. There was no | |
sharpness in her tone; it was hushed and quiet. The truth, so musically | |
uttered, muted her shrill objections though it had not lessened her | |
alarm. Her husband made no comment; his cigar, she noticed, had gone | |
out. | |
"And old trees in particular," continued the artist, as though to | |
himself, "have very definite personalities. You can offend, wound, | |
please them; the moment you stand within their shade you feel whether | |
they come out to you, or whether they withdraw." He turned abruptly | |
towards his host. "You know that singular essay of Prentice Mulford's, | |
no doubt 'God in the Trees'--extravagant perhaps, but yet with a fine | |
true beauty in it? You've never read it, no?" he asked. | |
But it was Mrs. Bittacy who answered; her husband keeping his curious | |
deep silence. | |
"I never did!" It fell like a drip of cold water from the face muffled | |
in the yellow shawl; even a child could have supplied the remainder of | |
the unspoken thought. | |
"Ah," said Sanderson gently, "but there _is_ 'God' in the trees. God in | |
a very subtle aspect and sometimes--I have known the trees express it | |
too--that which is _not_ God--dark and terrible. Have you ever noticed, | |
too, how clearly trees show what they want--choose their companions, at | |
least? How beeches, for instance, allow no life too near them--birds or | |
squirrels in their boughs, nor any growth beneath? The silence in the | |
beech wood is quite terrifying often! And how pines like bilberry bushes | |
at their feet and sometimes little oaks--all trees making a clear, | |
deliberate choice, and holding firmly to it? Some trees obviously--it's | |
very strange and marked--seem to prefer the human." | |
The old lady sat up crackling, for this was more than she could permit. | |
Her stiff silk dress emitted little sharp reports. | |
"We know," she answered, "that He was said to have walked in the garden | |
in the cool of the evening"--the gulp betrayed the effort that it cost | |
her--"but we are nowhere told that He hid in the trees, or anything like | |
that. Trees, after all, we must remember, are only large vegetables." | |
"True," was the soft answer, "but in everything that grows, has life, | |
that is, there's mystery past all finding out. The wonder that lies | |
hidden in our own souls lies also hidden, I venture to assert, in the | |
stupidity and silence of a mere potato." | |
The observation was not meant to be amusing. It was _not_ amusing. No | |
one laughed. On the contrary, the words conveyed in too literal a sense | |
the feeling that haunted all that conversation. Each one in his own way | |
realized--with beauty, with wonder, with alarm--that the talk had | |
somehow brought the whole vegetable kingdom nearer to that of man. Some | |
link had been established between the two. It was not wise, with that | |
great Forest listening at their very doors, to speak so plainly. The | |
forest edged up closer while they did so. | |
And Mrs. Bittacy, anxious to interrupt the horrid spell, broke suddenly | |
in upon it with a matter-of-fact suggestion. She did not like her | |
husband's prolonged silence, stillness. He seemed so negative--so | |
changed. | |
"David," she said, raising her voice, "I think you're feeling the | |
dampness. It's grown chilly. The fever comes so suddenly, you know, and | |
it might be wide to take the tincture. I'll go and get it, dear, at | |
once. It's better." And before he could object she had left the room to | |
bring the homeopathic dose that she believed in, and that, to please | |
her, he swallowed by the tumbler-full from week to week. | |
And the moment the door closed behind her, Sanderson began again, though | |
now in quite a different tone. Mr. Bittacy sat up in his chair. The two | |
men obviously resumed the conversation--the real conversation | |
interrupted beneath the cedar--and left aside the sham one which was so | |
much dust merely thrown in the old lady's eyes. | |
"Trees love you, that's the fact," he said earnestly. "Your service to | |
them all these years abroad has made them know you." | |
"Know me?" | |
"Made them, yes,"--he paused a moment, then added,--"made them _aware | |
of your presence_; aware of a force outside themselves that | |
deliberately seeks their welfare, don't you see?" | |
"By Jove, Sanderson--!" This put into plain language actual sensations | |
he had felt, yet had never dared to phrase in words before. "They get | |
into touch with me, as it were?" he ventured, laughing at his own | |
sentence, yet laughing only with his lips. | |
"Exactly," was the quick, emphatic reply. "They seek to blend with | |
something they feel instinctively to be good for them, helpful to their | |
essential beings, encouraging to their best expression--their life." | |
"Good Lord, Sir!" Bittacy heard himself saying, "but you're putting my | |
own thoughts into words. D'you know, I've felt something like that for | |
years. As though--" he looked round to make sure his wife was not there, | |
then finished the sentence--"as though the trees were after me!" | |
"'Amalgamate' seems the best word, perhaps," said Sanderson slowly. | |
"They would draw you to themselves. Good forces, you see, always seek to | |
merge; evil to separate; that's why Good in the end must always win the | |
day--everywhere. The accumulation in the long run becomes overwhelming. | |
Evil tends to separation, dissolution, death. The comradeship of trees, | |
their instinct to run together, is a vital symbol. Trees in a mass are | |
good; alone, you may take it generally, are--well, dangerous. Look at a | |
monkey-puzzler, or better still, a holly. Look at it, watch it, | |
understand it. Did you ever see more plainly an evil thought made | |
visible? They're wicked. Beautiful too, oh yes! There's a strange, | |
miscalculated beauty often in evil--" | |
"That cedar, then--?" | |
"Not evil, no; but alien, rather. Cedars grow in forests all together. | |
The poor thing has drifted, that is all." | |
They were getting rather deep. Sanderson, talking against time, spoke so | |
fast. It was too condensed. Bittacy hardly followed that last bit. His | |
mind floundered among his own less definite, less sorted thoughts, till | |
presently another sentence from the artist startled him into attention | |
again. | |
"That cedar will protect you here, though, because you both have | |
humanized it by your thinking so lovingly of its presence. The others | |
can't get past it, as it were." | |
"Protect me!" he exclaimed. "Protect me from their love?" | |
Sanderson laughed. "We're getting rather mixed," he said; "we're talking | |
of one thing in the terms of another really. But what I mean is--you | |
see--that their love for you, their 'awareness' of your personality and | |
presence involves the idea of winning you--across the border--into | |
themselves--into their world of living. It means, in a way, taking you | |
over." | |
The ideas the artist started in his mind ran furious wild races to and | |
fro. It was like a maze sprung suddenly into movement. The whirling of | |
the intricate lines bewildered him. They went so fast, leaving but half | |
an explanation of their goal. He followed first one, then another, but a | |
new one always dashed across to intercept before he could get anywhere. | |
"But India," he said, presently in a lower voice, "India is so far | |
away--from this little English forest. The trees, too, are utterly | |
different for one thing?" | |
The rustle of skirts warned of Mrs. Bittacy's approach. This was a | |
sentence he could turn round another way in case she came up and pressed | |
for explanation. | |
"There is communion among trees all the world over," was the strange | |
quick reply. "They always know." | |
"They always know! You think then--?" | |
"The winds, you see--the great, swift carriers! They have their ancient | |
rights of way about the world. An easterly wind, for instance, carrying | |
on stage by stage as it were--linking dropped messages and meanings from | |
land to land like the birds--an easterly wind--" | |
Mrs. Bittacy swept in upon them with the tumbler-- | |
"There, David," she said, "that will ward off any beginnings of attack. | |
Just a spoonful, dear. Oh, oh! not _all_ !" for he had swallowed half | |
the contents at a single gulp as usual; "another dose before you go to | |
bed, and the balance in the morning, first thing when you wake." | |
She turned to her guest, who put the tumbler down for her upon a table | |
at his elbow. She had heard them speak of the east wind. She emphasized | |
the warning she had misinterpreted. The private part of the conversation | |
came to an abrupt end. | |
"It is the one thing that upsets him more than any other--an east wind," | |
she said, "and I am glad, Mr. Sanderson, to hear you think so too." | |
# Chapter 3 | |
A deep hush followed, in the middle of which an owl was heard calling | |
its muffled note in the forest. A big moth whirred with a soft collision | |
against one of the windows. Mrs. Bittacy started slightly, but no one | |
spoke. Above the trees the stars were faintly visible. From the distance | |
came the barking of a dog. | |
Bittacy, relighting his cigar, broke the little spell of silence that | |
had caught all three. | |
"It's rather a comforting thought," he said, throwing the match out of | |
the window, "that life is about us everywhere, and that there is really | |
no dividing line between what we call organic and inorganic." | |
"The universe, yes," said Sanderson, "is all one, really. We're puzzled | |
by the gaps we cannot see across, but as a fact, I suppose, there are no | |
gaps at all." | |
Mrs. Bittacy rustled ominously, holding her peace meanwhile. She feared | |
long words she did not understand. Beelzebub lay hid among too many | |
syllables. | |
"In trees and plants especially, there dreams an exquisite life that no | |
one yet has proved unconscious." | |
"Or conscious either, Mr. Sanderson," she neatly interjected. "It's only | |
man that was made after His image, not shrubberies and things..." | |
Her husband interposed without delay. | |
"It is not necessary," he explained suavely, "to say that they're alive | |
in the sense that we are alive. At the same time," with an eye to his | |
wife, "I see no harm in holding, dear, that all created things contain | |
some measure of His life Who made them. It's only beautiful to hold that | |
He created nothing dead. We are not pantheists for all that!" he added | |
soothingly. | |
"Oh, no! Not that, I hope!" The word alarmed her. It was worse than | |
pope. Through her puzzled mind stole a stealthy, dangerous thing ... | |
like a panther. | |
"I like to think that even in decay there's life," the painter murmured. | |
"The falling apart of rotten wood breeds sentiency, there's force and | |
motion in the falling of a dying leaf, in the breaking up and crumbling | |
of everything indeed. And take an inert stone: it's crammed with heat | |
and weight and potencies of all sorts. What holds its particles together | |
indeed? We understand it as little as gravity or why a needle always | |
turns to the 'North.' Both things may be a mode of life..." | |
"You think a compass has a soul, Mr. Sanderson?" exclaimed the lady with | |
a crackling of her silk flounces that conveyed a sense of outrage even | |
more plainly than her tone. The artist smiled to himself in the | |
darkness, but it was Bittacy who hastened to reply. | |
"Our friend merely suggests that these mysterious agencies," he said | |
quietly, "may be due to some kind of life we cannot understand. Why | |
should water only run downhill? Why should trees grow at right angles to | |
the surface of the ground and towards the sun? Why should the worlds | |
spin for ever on their axes? Why should fire change the form of | |
everything it touches without really destroying them? To say these | |
things follow the law of their being explains nothing. Mr. Sanderson | |
merely suggests--poetically, my dear, of course--that these may be | |
manifestations of life, though life at a different stage to ours." | |
"The '_breath_ of life,' we read, 'He breathed into them. These things | |
do not breathe." She said it with triumph. | |
Then Sanderson put in a word. But he spoke rather to himself or to his | |
host than by way of serious rejoinder to the ruffled lady. | |
"But plants do breathe too, you know," he said. "They breathe, they eat, | |
they digest, they move about, and they adapt themselves to their | |
environment as men and animals do. They have a nervous system too... at | |
least a complex system of nuclei which have some of the qualities of | |
nerve cells. They may have memory too. Certainly, they know definite | |
action in response to stimulus. And though this may be physiological, no | |
one has proved that it is only that, and not--psychological." | |
He did not notice, apparently, the little gasp that was audible behind | |
the yellow shawl. Bittacy cleared his throat, threw his extinguished | |
cigar upon the lawn, crossed and recrossed his legs. | |
"And in trees," continued the other, "behind a great forest, for | |
instance," pointing towards the woods, "may stand a rather splendid | |
Entity that manifests through all the thousand individual trees--some | |
huge collective life, quite as minutely and delicately organized as our | |
own. It might merge and blend with ours under certain conditions, so | |
that we could understand it by _being_ it, for a time at least. It | |
might even engulf human vitality into the immense whirlpool of its own | |
vast dreaming life. The pull of a big forest on a man can be tremendous | |
and utterly overwhelming." | |
The mouth of Mrs. Bittacy was heard to close with a snap. Her shawl, and | |
particularly her crackling dress, exhaled the protest that burned within | |
her like a pain. She was too distressed to be overawed, but at the same | |
time too confused 'mid the litter of words and meanings half understood, | |
to find immediate phrases she could use. Whatever the actual meaning of | |
his language might be, however, and whatever subtle dangers lay | |
concealed behind them meanwhile, they certainly wove a kind of gentle | |
spell with the glimmering darkness that held all three delicately | |
enmeshed there by that open window. The odors of dewy lawn, flowers, | |
trees, and earth formed part of it. | |
"The moods," he continued, "that people waken in us are due to their | |
hidden life affecting our own. Deep calls to sleep. A person, for | |
instance, joins you in an empty room: you both instantly change. The new | |
arrival, though in silence, has caused a change of mood. May not the | |
moods of Nature touch and stir us in virtue of a similar prerogative? | |
The sea, the hills, the desert, wake passion, joy, terror, as the case | |
may be; for a few, perhaps," he glanced significantly at his host so | |
that Mrs. Bittacy again caught the turning of his eyes, "emotions of a | |
curious, flaming splendor that are quite nameless. Well ... whence come | |
these powers? Surely from nothing that is ... dead! Does not the | |
influence of a forest, its sway and strange ascendancy over certain | |
minds, betray a direct manifestation of life? It lies otherwise beyond | |
all explanation, this mysterious emanation of big woods. Some natures, | |
of course, deliberately invite it. The authority of a host of | |
trees,"--his voice grew almost solemn as he said the words--"is | |
something not to be denied. One feels it here, I think, particularly." | |
There was considerable tension in the air as he ceased speaking. Mr. | |
Bittacy had not intended that the talk should go so far. They had | |
drifted. He did not wish to see his wife unhappy or afraid, and he was | |
aware--acutely so--that her feelings were stirred to a point he did not | |
care about. Something in her, as he put it, was "working up" towards | |
explosion. | |
He sought to generalize the conversation, diluting this accumulated | |
emotion by spreading it. | |
"The sea is His and He made it," he suggested vaguely, hoping Sanderson | |
would take the hint, "and with the trees it is the same..." | |
"The whole gigantic vegetable kingdom, yes," the artist took him up, | |
"all at the service of man, for food, for shelter and for a thousand | |
purposes of his daily life. Is it not striking what a lot of the globe | |
they cover ... exquisitely organized life, yet stationary, always ready | |
to our had when we want them, never running away? But the taking them, | |
for all that, not so easy. One man shrinks from picking flowers, another | |
from cutting down trees. And, it's curious that most of the forest tales | |
and legends are dark, mysterious, and somewhat ill-omened. The | |
forest-beings are rarely gay and harmless. The forest life was felt as | |
terrible. Tree-worship still survives to-day. Wood-cutters... those who | |
take the life of trees... you see a race of haunted men..." | |
He stopped abruptly, a singular catch in his voice. Bittacy felt | |
something even before the sentences were over. His wife, he knew, felt | |
it still more strongly. For it was in the middle of the heavy silence | |
following upon these last remarks, that Mrs. Bittacy, rising with a | |
violent abruptness from her chair, drew the attention of the others to | |
something moving towards them across the lawn. It came silently. In | |
outline it was large and curiously spread. It rose high, too, for the | |
sky above the shrubberies, still pale gold from the sunset, was dimmed | |
by its passage. She declared afterwards that it move in "looping | |
circles," but what she perhaps meant to convey was "spirals." | |
She screamed faintly. "It's come at last! And it's you that brought it!" | |
She turned excitedly, half afraid, half angry, to Sanderson. With a | |
breathless sort of gasp she said it, politeness all forgotten. "I knew | |
it ... if you went on. I knew it. Oh! Oh!" And she cried again, "Your | |
talking has brought it out!" The terror that shook her voice was rather | |
dreadful. | |
But the confusion of her vehement words passed unnoticed in the first | |
surprise they caused. For a moment nothing happened. | |
"What is it you think you see, my dear?" asked her husband, startled. | |
Sanderson said nothing. All three leaned forward, the men still sitting, | |
but Mrs. Bittacy had rushed hurriedly to the window, placing herself of | |
a purpose, as it seemed, between her husband and the lawn. She pointed. | |
Her little hand made a silhouette against the sky, the yellow shawl | |
hanging from the arm like a cloud. | |
"Beyond the cedar--between it and the lilacs." The voice had lost its | |
shrillness; it was thin and hushed. "There ... now you see it going | |
round upon itself again--going back, thank God!... going back to the | |
Forest." It sank to a whisper, shaking. She repeated, with a great | |
dropping sigh of relief--"Thank God! I thought ... at first ... it was | |
coming here ... to us!... David ... to _you_ !" | |
She stepped back from the window, her movements confused, feeling in the | |
darkness for the support of a chair, and finding her husband's | |
outstretched hand instead. "Hold me, dear, hold me, please ... tight. Do | |
not let me go." She was in what he called afterwards "a regular state." | |
He drew her firmly down upon her chair again. | |
"Smoke, Sophie, my dear," he said quickly, trying to make his voice calm | |
and natural. "I see it, yes. It's smoke blowing over from the gardener's | |
cottage..." | |
"But, David,"--and there was a new horror in her whisper now--"it made a | |
noise. It makes it still. I hear it swishing." Some such word she | |
used--swishing, sishing, rushing, or something of the kind. "David, I'm | |
very frightened. It's something awful! That man has called it out...!" | |
"Hush, hush," whispered her husband. He stroked her trembling hand | |
beside him. | |
"It is in the wind," said Sanderson, speaking for the first time, very | |
quietly. The expression on his face was not visible in the gloom, but | |
his voice was soft and unafraid. At the sound of it, Mrs. Bittacy | |
started violently again. Bittacy drew his chair a little forward to | |
obstruct her view of him. He felt bewildered himself, a little, hardly | |
knowing quite what to say or do. It was all so very curious and sudden. | |
But Mrs. Bittacy was badly frightened. It seemed to her that what she | |
saw came from the enveloping forest just beyond their little garden. It | |
emerged in a sort of secret way, moving towards them as with a purpose, | |
stealthily, difficultly. Then something stopped it. It could not advance | |
beyond the cedar. The cedar--this impression remained with her | |
afterwards too--prevented, kept it back. Like a rising sea the Forest | |
had surged a moment in their direction through the covering darkness, | |
and this visible movement was its first wave. Thus to her mind it | |
seemed... like that mysterious turn of the tide that used to frighten | |
and mystify her in childhood on the sands. The outward surge of some | |
enormous Power was what she felt... something to which every instinct in | |
her being rose in opposition because it threatened her and hers. In that | |
moment she realized the Personality of the Forest... menacing. | |
In the stumbling movement that she made away from the window and towards | |
the bell she barely caught the sentence Sanderson--or was it her | |
husband?--murmured to himself: "It came because we talked of it; our | |
thinking made it aware of us and brought it out. But the cedar stops it. | |
It cannot cross the lawn, you see..." | |
All three were standing now, and her husband's voice broke in with | |
authority while his wife's fingers touched the bell. | |
"My dear, I should _not_ say anything to Thompson." The anxiety he felt | |
was manifest in his voice, but his outward composure had returned. "The | |
gardener can go..." | |
Then Sanderson cut him short. "Allow me," he said quickly. "I'll see if | |
anything's wrong." And before either of them could answer or object, he | |
was gone, leaping out by the open window. They saw his figure vanish | |
with a run across the lawn into the darkness. | |
A moment later the maid entered, in answer to the bell, and with her | |
came the loud barking of the terrier from the hall. | |
"The lamps," said her master shortly, and as she softly closed the door | |
behind her, they heard the wind pass with a mournful sound of singing | |
round the outer walls. A rustle of foliage from the distance passed | |
within it. | |
"You see, the wind _is_ rising. It _was_ the wind!" He put a | |
comforting arm about her, distressed to feel that she was trembling. But | |
he knew that he was trembling too, though with a kind of odd elation | |
rather than alarm. "And it _was_ smoke that you saw coming from | |
Stride's cottage, or from the rubbish heaps he's been burning in the | |
kitchen garden. The noise we heard was the branches rustling in the | |
wind. Why should you be so nervous?" | |
A thin whispering voice answered him: | |
"I was afraid for _you_, dear. Something frightened me for _you_. | |
That man makes me feel so uneasy and uncomfortable for his influence | |
upon you. It's very foolish, I know. I think... I'm tired; I feel so | |
overwrought and restless." The words poured out in a hurried jumble and | |
she kept turning to the window while she spoke. | |
"The strain of having a visitor," he said soothingly, "has taxed you. | |
We're so unused to having people in the house. He goes to-morrow." He | |
warmed her cold hands between his own, stroking them tenderly. More, for | |
the life of him, he could not say or do. The joy of a strange, internal | |
excitement made his heart beat faster. He knew not what it was. He knew | |
only, perhaps, whence it came. | |
She peered close into his face through the gloom, and said a curious | |
thing. "I thought, David, for a moment... you seemed... different. My | |
nerves are all on edge to-night." She made no further reference to her | |
husband's visitor. | |
A sound of footsteps from the lawn warned of Sanderson's return, as he | |
answered quickly in a lowered tone--"There's no need to be afraid on my | |
account, dear girl. There's nothing wrong with me. I assure you; I never | |
felt so well and happy in my life." | |
Thompson came in with the lamps and brightness, and scarcely had she | |
gone again when Sanderson in turn was seen climbing through the window. | |
"There's nothing," he said lightly, as he closed it behind him. | |
"Somebody's been burning leaves, and the smoke is drifting a little | |
through the trees. The wind," he added, glancing at his host a moment | |
significantly, but in so discreet a way that Mrs. Bittacy did not | |
observe it, "the wind, too, has begun to roar... in the Forest... | |
further out." | |
But Mrs. Bittacy noticed about him two things which increased her | |
uneasiness. She noticed the shining of his eyes, because a similar light | |
had suddenly come into her husband's; and she noticed, too, the apparent | |
depth of meaning he put into those simple words that "the wind had begun | |
to roar in the Forest ...further out." Her mind retained the | |
disagreeable impression that he meant more than he said. In his tone lay | |
quite another implication. It was not actually "wind" he spoke of, and | |
it would not remain "further out"...rather, it was coming in. Another | |
impression she got too--still more unwelcome--was that her husband | |
understood his hidden meaning. | |
# Chapter 4 | |
"David, dear," she observed gently as soon as they were alone | |
upstairs, "I have a horrible uneasy feeling about that man. I cannot get | |
rid of it." The tremor in per voice caught all his tenderness. | |
He turned to look at her. "Of what kind, my dear? You're so imaginative | |
sometimes, aren't you?" | |
"I think," she hesitated, stammering a little, confused, still | |
frightened, "I mean--isn't he a hypnotist, or full of those theosophical | |
ideas, or something of the sort? You know what I mean--" | |
He was too accustomed to her little confused alarms to explain them away | |
seriously as a rule, or to correct her verbal inaccuracies, but to-night | |
he felt she needed careful, tender treatment. He soothed her as best he | |
could. | |
"But there's no harm in that, even if he is," he answered quietly. | |
"Those are only new names for very old ideas, you know, dear." There was | |
no trace of impatience in his voice. | |
"That's what I mean," she replied, the texts he dreaded rising in an | |
unuttered crowd behind the words. "He's one of those things that we are | |
warned would come--one of those Latter-Day things." For her mind still | |
bristled with the bogeys of the Antichrist and Prophecy, and she had | |
only escaped the Number of the Beast, as it were, by the skin of her | |
teeth. The Pope drew most of her fire usually, because she could | |
understand him; the target was plain and she could shoot. But this | |
tree-and-forest business was so vague and horrible. It terrified her. | |
"He makes me think," she went on, "of Principalities and Powers in high | |
places, and of things that walk in the darkness. I did _not_ like the | |
way he spoke of trees getting alive in the night, and all that; it made | |
me think of wolves in sheep's clothing. And when I saw that awful thing | |
in the sky above the lawn--" | |
But he interrupted her at once, for that was something he had decided it | |
was best to leave unmentioned. Certainly it was better not discussed. | |
"He only meant, I think, Sophie," he put in gravely, yet with a little | |
smile, "that trees may have a measure of conscious life--rather a nice | |
idea on the whole, surely,--something like that bit we read in the Times | |
the other night, you remember--and that a big forest may possess a sort | |
of Collective Personality. Remember, he's an artist, and poetical." | |
"It's dangerous," she said emphatically. "I feel it's playing with fire, | |
unwise, unsafe--" | |
"Yet all to the glory of God," he urged gently. "We must not shut our | |
ears and eyes to knowledge--of any kind, must we?" | |
"With you, David, the wish is always farther than the thought," she | |
rejoined. For, like the child who thought that "suffered under Pontius | |
Pilate" was "suffered under a bunch of violets," she heard her proverbs | |
phonetically and reproduced them thus. She hoped to convey her warning | |
in the quotation. "And we must always try the spirits whether they be of | |
God," she added tentatively. | |
"Certainly, dear, we can always do that," he assented, getting into bed. | |
But, after a little pause, during which she blew the light out, David | |
Bittacy settling down to sleep with an excitement in his blood that was | |
new and bewilderingly delightful, realized that perhaps he had not said | |
quite enough to comfort her. She was lying awake by his side, still | |
frightened. He put his head up in the darkness. | |
"Sophie," he said softly, "you must remember, too, that in any case | |
between us and--and all that sort of thing--there is a great gulf fixed, | |
a gulf that cannot be crossed--er--while we are still in the body." | |
And hearing no reply, he satisfied himself that she was already asleep | |
and happy. But Mrs. Bittacy was not asleep. She heard the sentence, only | |
she said nothing because she felt her thought was better unexpressed. | |
She was afraid to hear the words in the darkness. The Forest outside was | |
listening and might hear them too--the Forest that was "roaring further | |
out." | |
And the thought was this: That gulf, of course, existed, but Sanderson | |
had somehow bridged it. | |
It was much later than night when she awoke out of troubled, uneasy | |
dreams and heard a sound that twisted her very nerves with fear. It | |
passed immediately with full waking, for, listen as she might, there was | |
nothing audible but the inarticulate murmur of the night. It was in her | |
dreams she heard it, and the dreams had vanished with it. But the sound | |
was recognizable, for it was that rushing noise that had come across the | |
lawn; only this time closer. Just above her face while she slept had | |
passed this murmur as of rustling branches in the very room, a sound of | |
foliage whispering. "A going in the tops of the mulberry trees," ran | |
through her mind. She had dreamed that she lay beneath a spreading tree | |
somewhere, a tree that whispered with ten thousand soft lips of green; | |
and the dream continued for a moment even after waking. | |
She sat up in bed and stared about her. The window was open at the top; | |
she saw the stars; the door, she remembered, was locked as usual; the | |
room, of course, was empty. The deep hush of the summer night lay over | |
all, broken only by another sound that now issued from the shadows close | |
beside the bed, a human sound, yet unnatural, a sound that seized the | |
fear with which she had waked and instantly increased it. And, although | |
it was one she recognized as familiar, at first she could not name it. | |
Some seconds certainly passed--and, they were very long ones--before she | |
understood that it was her husband talking in his sleep. | |
The direction of the voice confused and puzzled her, moreover, for it | |
was not, as she first supposed, beside her. There was distance in it. | |
The next minute, by the light of the sinking candle flame, she saw his | |
white figure standing out in the middle of the room, half-way towards | |
the window. The candle-light slowly grew. She saw him move then nearer | |
to the window, with arms outstretched. His speech was low and mumbled, | |
the words running together too much to be distinguishable. | |
And she shivered. To her, sleep-talking was uncanny to the point of | |
horror; it was like the talking of the dead, mere parody of a living | |
voice, unnatural. | |
"David!" she whispered, dreading the sound of her own voice, and half | |
afraid to interrupt him and see his face. She could not bear the sight | |
of the wide-opened eyes. "David, you're walking in your sleep. Do--come | |
back to bed, dear, _please!_" | |
Her whisper seemed so dreadfully loud in the still darkness. At the | |
sound of her voice he paused, then turned slowly round to face her. His | |
widely-opened eyes stared into her own without recognition; they looked | |
through her into something beyond; it was as though he knew the | |
direction of the sound, yet cold not see her. They were shining, she | |
noticed, as the eyes of Sanderson had shone several hours ago; and his | |
face was flushed, distraught. Anxiety was written upon every feature. | |
And, instantly, recognizing that the fever was upon him, she forgot her | |
terror temporarily in practical considerations. He came back to bed | |
without waking. She closed his eyelids. Presently he composed himself | |
quietly to sleep, or rather to deeper sleep. She contrived to make him | |
swallow something from the tumbler beside the bed. | |
Then she rose very quietly to close the window, feeling the night air | |
blow in too fresh and keen. She put the candle where it could not reach | |
him. The sight of the big Baxter Bible beside it comforted her a little, | |
but all through her under-being ran the warnings of a curious alarm. And | |
it was while in the act of fastening the catch with one hand and pulling | |
the string of the blind with the other, that her husband sat up again in | |
bed and spoke in words this time that were distinctly audible. The eyes | |
had opened wide again. He pointed. She stood stock still and listened, | |
her shadow distorted on the blind. He did not come out towards her as at | |
first she feared. | |
The whispering voice was very clear, horrible, too, beyond all she had | |
ever known. | |
"They are roaring in the Forest further out... and I... must go and | |
see." He stared beyond her as he said it, to the woods. "They are | |
needing me. They sent for me..." Then his eyes wandering back again to | |
things within the room, he lay down, his purpose suddenly changed. And | |
that change was horrible as well, more horrible, perhaps, because of its | |
revelation of another detailed world he moved in far away from her. | |
The singular phrase chilled her blood, for a moment she was utterly | |
terrified. That tone of the somnambulist, differing so slightly yet so | |
distressingly from normal, waking speech, seemed to her somehow wicked. | |
Evil and danger lay waiting thick behind it. She leaned against the | |
window-sill, shaking in every limb. She had an awful feeling for a | |
moment that something was coming in to fetch him. | |
"Not yet, then," she heard in a much lower voice from the bed, "but | |
later. It will be better so... I shall go later..." | |
The words expressed some fringe of these alarms that had haunted her so | |
long, and that the arrival and presence of Sanderson seemed to have | |
brought to the very edge of a climax she could not even dare to think | |
about. They gave it form; they brought it closer; they sent her thoughts | |
to her Deity in a wild, deep prayer for help and guidance. For here was | |
a direct, unconscious betrayal of a world of inner purposes and claims | |
her husband recognized while he kept them almost wholly to himself. | |
By the time she reached his side and knew the comfort of his touch, the | |
eyes had closed again, this time of their own accord, and the head lay | |
calmly back upon the pillows. She gently straightened the bed clothes. | |
She watched him for some minutes, shading the candle carefully with one | |
hand. There was a smile of strangest peace upon the face. | |
Then, blowing out the candle, she knelt down and prayed before getting | |
back into bed. But no sleep came to her. She lay awake all night | |
thinking, wondering, praying, until at length with the chorus of the | |
birds and the glimmer of the dawn upon the green blind, she fell into a | |
slumber of complete exhaustion. | |
But while she slept the wind continued roaring in the Forest further | |
out. The sound came closer--sometimes very close indeed. | |
# Chapter 5 | |
With the departure of Sanderson the significance of the curious | |
incidents waned, because the moods that had produced them passed away. | |
Mrs. Bittacy soon afterwards came to regard them as some growth of | |
disproportion that had been very largely, perhaps, in her own mind. It | |
did not strike her that this change was sudden for it came about quite | |
naturally. For one thing her husband never spoke of the matter, and for | |
another she remembered how many things in life that had seemed | |
inexplicable and singular at the time turned out later to have been | |
quite commonplace. | |
Most of it, certainly, she put down to the presence of the artist and to | |
his wild, suggestive talk. With his welcome removal, the world turned | |
ordinary again and safe. The fever, though it lasted as usual a short | |
time only, had not allowed of her husband's getting up to say good-bye, | |
and she had conveyed his regrets and adieux. In the morning Mr. | |
Sanderson had seemed ordinary enough. In his town hat and gloves, as she | |
saw him go, he seemed tame and unalarming. | |
"After all," she thought as she watched the pony-cart bear him off, | |
"he's only an artist!" What she had thought he might be otherwise her | |
slim imagination did not venture to disclose. Her change of feeling was | |
wholesome and refreshing. She felt a little ashamed of her behavior. She | |
gave him a smile--genuine because the relief she felt was genuine--as he | |
bent over her hand and kissed it, but she did not suggest a second | |
visit, and her husband, she noted with satisfaction and relief, had said | |
nothing either. | |
The little household fell again into the normal and sleepy routine to | |
which it was accustomed. The name of Arthur Sanderson was rarely if ever | |
mentioned. Nor, for her part, did she mention to her husband the | |
incident of his walking in his sleep and the wild words he used. But to | |
forget it was equally impossible. Thus it lay buried deep within her | |
like a center of some unknown disease of which it was a mysterious | |
symptom, waiting to spread at the first favorable opportunity. She | |
prayed against it every night and morning: prayed that she might forget | |
it--that God would keep her husband safe from harm. | |
For in spite of much surface foolishness that many might have read as | |
weakness. Mrs. Bittacy had balance, sanity, and a fine deep faith. She | |
was greater than she knew. Her love for her husband and her God were | |
somehow one, an achievement only possible to a single-hearted nobility | |
of soul. | |
There followed a summer of great violence and beauty; of beauty, because | |
the refreshing rains at night prolonged the glory of the spring and | |
spread it all across July, keeping the foliage young and sweet; of | |
violence, because the winds that tore about the south of England brushed | |
the whole country into dancing movement. They swept the woods | |
magnificently, and kept them roaring with a perpetual grand voice. Their | |
deepest notes seemed never to leave the sky. They sang and shouted, and | |
torn leaves raced and fluttered through the air long before their | |
usually appointed time. Many a tree, after days of roaring and dancing, | |
fell exhausted to the ground. The cedar on the lawn gave up two limbs | |
that fell upon successive days, at the same hour too--just before dusk. | |
The wind often makes its most boisterous effort at that time, before it | |
drops with the sun, and these two huge branches lay in dark ruin | |
covering half the lawn. They spread across it and towards the house. | |
They left an ugly gaping space upon the tree, so that the Lebanon looked | |
unfinished, half destroyed, a monster shorn of its old-time comeliness | |
and splendor. Far more of the Forest was now visible than before; it | |
peered through the breach of the broken defenses. They could see from | |
the windows of the house now--especially from the drawing-room and | |
bedroom windows--straight out into the glades and depths beyond. | |
Mrs. Bittacy's niece and nephew, who were staying on a visit at the | |
time, enjoyed themselves immensely helping the gardeners carry off the | |
fragments. It took two days to do this, for Mr. Bittacy insisted on the | |
branches being moved entire. He would not allow them to be chopped; | |
also, he would not consent to their use as firewood. Under his | |
superintendence the unwieldy masses were dragged to the edge of the | |
garden and arranged upon the frontier line between the Forest and the | |
lawn. The children were delighted with the scheme. They entered into it | |
with enthusiasm. At all costs this defense against the inroads of the | |
Forest must be made secure. They caught their uncle's earnestness, felt | |
even something of a hidden motive that he had; and the visit, usually | |
rather dreaded, became the visit of their lives instead. It was Aunt | |
Sophia this time who seemed discouraging and dull. | |
"She's got so old and funny," opined Stephen. | |
But Alice, who felt in the silent displeasure of her aunt some secret | |
thing that alarmed her, said: | |
"I think she's afraid of the woods. She never comes into them with us, | |
you see." | |
"All the more reason then for making this wall impreg--all fat and thick | |
and solid," he concluded, unable to manage the longer word. "Then | |
nothing--simply _nothing_--can get through. Can't it, Uncle David?" | |
And Mr. Bittacy, jacket discarded and working in his speckled waistcoat, | |
went puffing to their aid, arranging the massive limb of the cedar like | |
a hedge. | |
"Come on," he said, "whatever happens, you know, we must finish before | |
it's dark. Already the wind is roaring in the Forest further out." And | |
Alice caught the phrase and instantly echoed it. "Stevie," she cried | |
below her breath, "look sharp, you lazy lump. Didn't you hear what Uncle | |
David said? It'll come in and catch us before we've done!" | |
They worked like Trojans, and, sitting beneath the wisteria tree that | |
climbed the southern wall of the cottage, Mrs. Bittacy with her knitting | |
watched them, calling from time to time insignificant messages of | |
counsel and advice. The messages passed, of course, unheeded. Mostly, | |
indeed, they were unheard, for the workers were too absorbed. She warned | |
her husband not to get too hot, Alice not to tear her dress, Stephen not | |
to strain his back with pulling. Her mind hovered between the | |
homeopathic medicine-chest upstairs and her anxiety to see the business | |
finished. | |
For this breaking up of the cedar had stirred again her slumbering | |
alarms. It revived memories of the visit of Mr. Sanderson that had been | |
sinking into oblivion; she recalled his queer and odious way of talking, | |
and many things she hoped forgotten drew their heads up from that | |
subconscious region to which all forgetting is impossible. They looked | |
at her and nodded. They were full of life; they had no intention of | |
being pushed aside and buried permanently. "Now look!" they whispered, | |
"didn't we tell you so?" They had been merely waiting the right moment | |
to assert their presence. And all her former vague distress crept over | |
her. Anxiety, uneasiness returned. That dreadful sinking of the heart | |
came too. | |
This incident of the cedar's breaking up was actually so unimportant, | |
and yet her husband's attitude towards it made it so significant. There | |
was nothing that he said in particular, or did, or left undone that | |
frightened, her, but his general air of earnestness seemed so | |
unwarranted. She felt that he deemed the thing important. He was so | |
exercised about it. This evidence of sudden concern and interest, buried | |
all the summer from her sight and knowledge, she realized now had been | |
buried purposely, he had kept it intentionally concealed. Deeply | |
submerged in him there ran this tide of other thoughts, desires, hopes. | |
What were they? Whither did they lead? The accident to the tree betrayed | |
it most unpleasantly, and, doubtless, more than he was aware. | |
She watched his grave and serious face as he worked there with the | |
children, and as she watched she felt afraid. It vexed her that the | |
children worked so eagerly. They unconsciously supported him. The thing | |
she feared she would not even name. But it was waiting. | |
Moreover, as far as her puzzled mind could deal with a dread so vague | |
and incoherent, the collapse of the cedar somehow brought it nearer. The | |
fact that, all so ill-explained and formless, the thing yet lay in her | |
consciousness, out of reach but moving and alive, filled her with a kind | |
of puzzled, dreadful wonder. Its presence was so very real, its power so | |
gripping, its partial concealment so abominable. Then, out of the dim | |
confusion, she grasped one thought and saw it stand quite clear before | |
her eyes. She found difficulty in clothing it in words, but its meaning | |
perhaps was this: That cedar stood in their life for something friendly; | |
its downfall meant disaster; a sense of some protective influence about | |
the cottage, and about her husband in particular, was thereby weakened. | |
"Why do you fear the big winds so?" he had asked her several days | |
before, after a particularly boisterous day; and the answer she gave | |
surprised her while she gave it. One of those heads poked up | |
unconsciously, and let slip the truth. | |
"Because, David, I feel they--bring the Forest with them," she faltered. | |
"They blow something from the trees--into the mind--into the house." | |
He looked at her keenly for a moment. | |
"That must be why I love them then," he answered. "They blow the souls | |
of the trees about the sky like clouds." | |
The conversation dropped. She had never heard him talk in quite that way | |
before. | |
And another time, when he had coaxed her to go with him down one of the | |
nearer glades, she asked why he took the small hand-axe with him, and | |
what he wanted it for. | |
"To cut the ivy that clings to the trunks and takes their life away," he | |
said. | |
"But can't the verdurers do that?" she asked. "That's what they're paid | |
for, isn't it?" | |
Whereupon he explained that ivy was a parasite the trees knew not how to | |
fight alone, and that the verdurers were careless and did not do it | |
thoroughly. They gave a chop here and there, leaving the tree to do the | |
rest for itself if it could. | |
"Besides, I like to do it for them. I love to help them and protect," he | |
added, the foliage rustling all about his quiet words as they went. | |
And these stray remarks, as his attitude towards the broken cedar, | |
betrayed this curious, subtle change that was going forward to his | |
personality. Slowly and surely all the summer it had increased. | |
It was growing--the thought startled her horribly--just as a tree grows, | |
the outer evidence from day to day so slight as to be unnoticeable, yet | |
the rising tide so deep and irresistible. The alteration spread all | |
through and over him, was in both mind and actions, sometimes almost in | |
his face as well. Occasionally, thus, it stood up straight outside | |
himself and frightened her. His life was somehow becoming linked so | |
intimately with trees, and with all that trees signified. His interests | |
became more and more their interests, his activity combined with theirs, | |
his thoughts and feelings theirs, his purpose, hope, desire, his fate-- | |
His fate! The darkness of some vague, enormous terror dropped its shadow | |
on her when she thought of it. Some instinct in her heart she dreaded | |
infinitely more than death--for death meant sweet translation for his | |
soul--came gradually to associate the thought of him with the thought of | |
trees, in particular with these Forest trees. Sometimes, before she | |
could face the thing, argue it away, or pray it into silence, she found | |
the thought of him running swiftly through her mind like a thought of | |
the Forest itself, the two most intimately linked and joined together, | |
each a part and complement of the other, one being. | |
The idea was too dim for her to see it face to face. Its mere | |
possibility dissolved the instant she focused it to get the truth behind | |
it. It was too utterly elusive, made, protæan. Under the attack of even | |
a minute's concentration the very meaning of it vanished, melted away. | |
The idea lay really behind any words that she could ever find, beyond | |
the touch of definite thought. | |
Her mind was unable to grapple with it. But, while it vanished, the | |
trail of its approach and disappearance flickered a moment before her | |
shaking vision. The horror certainly remained. | |
Reduced to the simple human statement that her temperament sought | |
instinctively, it stood perhaps at this: Her husband loved her, and he | |
loved the trees as well; but the trees came first, claimed parts of him | |
she did not know. _She_ loved her God and him. _He_ loved the trees | |
and her. | |
Thus, in guise of some faint, distressing compromise, the matter shaped | |
itself for her perplexed mind in the terms of conflict. A silent, hidden | |
battle raged, but as yet raged far away. The breaking of the cedar was a | |
visible outward fragment of a distant and mysterious encounter that was | |
coming daily closer to them both. The wind, instead of roaring in the | |
Forest further out, now cam nearer, booming in fitful gusts about its | |
edge and frontiers. | |
Meanwhile the summer dimmed. The autumn winds went sighing through the | |
woods, leaves turned to golden red, and the evenings were drawing in | |
with cozy shadows before the first sign of anything seriously untoward | |
made its appearance. It came then with a flat, decided kind of violence | |
that indicated mature preparation beforehand. It was not impulsive nor | |
ill-considered. In a fashion it seemed expected, and indeed inevitable. | |
For within a fortnight of their annual change to the little village of | |
Seillans above St. Raphael--a change so regular for the past ten years | |
that it was not even discussed between them--David Bittacy abruptly | |
refused to go. | |
Thompson had laid the tea-table, prepared the spirit lamp beneath the | |
urn, pulled down the blinds in that swift and silent way she had, and | |
left the room. The lamps were still unlit. The fire-light shone on the | |
chintz armchairs, and Boxer lay asleep on the black horse-hair rug. Upon | |
the walls the gilt picture frames gleamed faintly, the pictures | |
themselves indistinguishable. Mrs. Bittacy had warmed the teapot and was | |
in the act of pouring the water in to heat the cups when her husband, | |
looking up from his chair across the hearth, made the abrupt | |
announcement: | |
"My dear," he said, as though following a train of thought of which she | |
only heard this final phrase, "it's really quite impossible for me to | |
go." | |
And so abrupt, inconsequent, it sounded that she at first misunderstood. | |
She thought he meant to go out into the garden or the woods. But her | |
heart leaped all the same. The tone of his voice was ominous. | |
"Of course not," she answered, "it would be _most_ unwise. Why should | |
you--?" She referred to the mist that always spread on autumn nights | |
upon the lawn, but before she finished the sentence she knew that _he_ | |
referred to something else. And her heart then gave its second horrible | |
leap. | |
"David! You mean abroad?" she gasped. | |
"I mean abroad, dear, yes." | |
It reminded her of the tone he used when saying good-bye years ago, | |
before one of those jungle expeditions she dreaded. His voice then was | |
so serious, so final. It was serious and final now. For several moments | |
she could think of nothing to say. She busied herself with the teapot. | |
She had filled one cup with hot water till it overflowed, and she | |
emptied it slowly into the slop-basin, trying with all her might not to | |
let him see the trembling of her hand. The firelight and the dimness of | |
the room both helped her. But in any case he would hardly have noticed | |
it. His thoughts were far away... | |
# Chapter 6 | |
Mrs. Bittacy had never liked their present home. She preferred a flat, | |
more open country that left approaches clear. She liked to see things | |
coming. This cottage on the very edge of the old hunting grounds of | |
William the Conqueror had never satisfied her ideal of a safe and | |
pleasant place to settle down in. The sea-coast, with treeless downs | |
behind and a clear horizon in front, as at Eastbourne, say, was her | |
ideal of a proper home. | |
It was curious, this instinctive aversion she felt to being shut in--by | |
trees especially; a kind of claustrophobia almost; probably due, as has | |
been said, to the days in India when the trees took her husband off and | |
surrounded him with dangers. In those weeks of solitude the feeling had | |
matured. She had fought it in her fashion, but never conquered it. | |
Apparently routed, it had a way of creeping back in other forms. In this | |
particular case, yielding to his strong desire, she thought the battle | |
won, but the terror of the trees came back before the first month had | |
passed. They laughed in her face. | |
She never lost knowledge of the fact that the leagues of forest lay | |
about their cottage like a mighty wall, a crowding, watching, listening | |
presence that shut them in from freedom and escape. Far from morbid | |
naturally, she did her best to deny the thought, and so simple and | |
unartificial was her type of mind that for weeks together she would | |
wholly lose it. Then, suddenly it would return upon her with a rush of | |
bleak reality. It was not only in her mind; it existed apart from any | |
mere mood; a separate fear that walked alone; it came and went, yet when | |
it went--went only to watch her from another point of view. It was in | |
abeyance--hidden round the corner. | |
The Forest never let her go completely. It was ever ready to encroach. | |
All the branches, she sometimes fancied, stretched one way--towards | |
their tiny cottage and garden, as though it sought to draw them in and | |
merge them in itself. Its great, deep-breathing soul resented the | |
mockery, the insolence, the irritation of the prim garden at its very | |
gates. It would absorb and smother them if it could. And every wind that | |
blew its thundering message over the huge sounding-board of the million, | |
shaking trees conveyed the purpose that it had. They had angered its | |
great soul. At its heart was this deep, incessant roaring. | |
All this she never framed in words, the subtleties of language lay far | |
beyond her reach. But instinctively she felt it; and more besides. It | |
troubled her profoundly. Chiefly, moreover, for her husband. Merely for | |
herself, the nightmare might have left her cold. It was David's peculiar | |
interest in the trees that gave the special invitation. Jealousy, then, | |
in its most subtle aspect came to strengthen this aversion and dislike, | |
for it came in a form that no reasonable wife could possibly object to. | |
Her husband's passion, she reflected, was natural and inborn. It had | |
decided his vocation, fed his ambition, nourished his dreams, desires, | |
hopes. All his best years of active life had been spent in the care and | |
guardianship of trees. He knew them, understood their secret life and | |
nature, "managed" them intuitively as other men "managed" dogs and | |
horses. He could not live for long away from them without a strange, | |
acute nostalgia that stole his peace of mind and consequently his | |
strength of body. A forest made him happy and at peace; it nursed and | |
fed and soothed his deepest moods. Trees influenced the sources of his | |
life, lowered or raised the very heart-beat in him. Cut off from them he | |
languished as a lover of the sea can droop inland, or a mountaineer may | |
pine in the flat monotony of the plains. | |
This she could understand, in a fashion at least, and make allowances | |
for. She had yielded gently, even sweetly, to his choice of their | |
English home; for in the little island there is nothing that suggests | |
the woods of wilder countries so nearly as the New Forest. It has the | |
genuine air and mystery, the depth and splendor, the loneliness, and | |
there and there the strong, untamable quality of old-time forests as | |
Bittacy of the Department knew them. | |
In a single detail only had he yielded to her wishes. He consented to a | |
cottage on the edge, instead of in the heart of it. And for a dozen | |
years now they had dwelt in peace and happiness at the lips of this | |
great spreading thing that covered so many leagues with its tangle of | |
swamps and moors and splendid ancient trees. | |
Only with the last two years or so--with his own increasing age, and | |
physical decline perhaps--had come this marked growth of passionate | |
interest in the welfare of the Forest. She had watched it grow, at first | |
had laughed at it, then talked sympathetically so far as sincerity | |
permitted, then had argued mildly, and finally come to realize that its | |
treatment lay altogether beyond her powers, and so had come to fear it | |
with all her heart. | |
The six weeks they annually spent away from their English home, each | |
regarded very differently, of course. For her husband it meant a painful | |
exile that did his health no good; he yearned for his trees--the sight | |
and sound and smell of them; but for herself it meant release from a | |
haunting dread--escape. To renounce those six weeks by the sea on the | |
sunny, shining coast of France, was almost more than this little woman, | |
even with her unselfishness, could face. | |
After the first shock of the announcement, she reflected as deeply as | |
her nature permitted, prayed, wept in secret--and made up her mind. | |
Duty, she felt clearly, pointed to renouncement. The discipline would | |
certainly be severe--she did not dream at the moment how severe!--but | |
this fine, consistent little Christian saw it plain; she accepted it, | |
too, without any sighing of the martyr, though the courage she showed | |
was of the martyr order. Her husband should never know the cost. In all | |
but this one passion his unselfishness was ever as great as her own. The | |
love she had borne him all these years, like the love she bore her | |
anthropomorphic deity, was deep and real. She loved to suffer for them | |
both. Besides, the way her husband had put it to her was singular. It | |
did not take the form of a mere selfish predilection. Something higher | |
than two wills in conflict seeking compromise was in it from the | |
beginning. | |
"I feel, Sophia, it would be really more than I could manage," he said | |
slowly, gazing into the fire over the tops of his stretched-out muddy | |
boots. "My duty and my happiness lie here with the Forest and with you. | |
My life is deeply rooted in this place. Something I can't define | |
connects my inner being with these trees, and separation would make me | |
ill--might even kill me. My hold on life would weaken; here is my source | |
of supply. I cannot explain it better than that." He looked up steadily | |
into her face across the table so that she saw the gravity of his | |
expression and the shining of his steady eyes. | |
"David, you feel it as strongly as that!" she said, forgetting the tea | |
things altogether. | |
"Yes," he replied, "I do. And it's not of the body only, I feel it in my | |
soul." | |
The reality of what he hinted at crept into that shadow-covered room | |
like an actual Presence and stood beside them. It came not by the | |
windows or the door, but it filled the entire space between the walls | |
and ceiling. It took the heat from the fire before her face. She felt | |
suddenly cold, confused a little, frightened. She almost felt the rush | |
of foliage in the wind. It stood between them. | |
"There are things--some things," she faltered, "we are not intended to | |
know, I think." The words expressed her general attitude to life, not | |
alone to this particular incident. | |
And after a pause of several minutes, disregarding the criticism as | |
though he had not heard it--"I cannot explain it better than that, you | |
see," his grave voice answered. "There is this deep, tremendous | |
link,--some secret power they emanate that keeps me well and happy | |
and--alive. If you cannot understand, I feel at least you may be able | |
to--forgive." His tone grew tender, gentle, soft. "My selfishness, I | |
know, must seem quite unforgivable. I cannot help it somehow; these | |
trees, this ancient Forest, both seem knitted into all that makes me | |
live, and if I go--" | |
There was a little sound of collapse in his voice. He stopped abruptly, | |
and sank back in his chair. And, at that, a distinct lump came up into | |
her throat which she had great difficulty in managing while she went | |
over and put her arms about him. | |
"My dear," she murmured, "God will direct. We will accept His guidance. | |
He has always shown the way before." | |
"My selfishness afflicts me--" he began, but she would not let him | |
finish. | |
"David, He will direct. Nothing shall harm you. You've never once been | |
selfish, and I cannot bear to hear you say such things. The way will | |
open that is best for you--for both of us." She kissed him, she would | |
not let him speak; her heart was in her throat, and she felt for him far | |
more than for herself. | |
And then he had suggested that she should go alone perhaps for a shorter | |
time, and stay in her brother's villa with the children, Alice and | |
Stephen. It was always open to her as she well knew. | |
"You need the change," he said, when the lamps had been lit and the | |
servant had gone out again; "you need it as much as I dread it. I could | |
manage somehow until you returned, and should feel happier that way if | |
you went. I cannot leave this Forest that I love so well. I even feel, | |
Sophie dear"--he sat up straight and faced her as he half whispered | |
it--"that I can _never_ leave it again. My life and happiness lie here | |
together." | |
And eve while scorning the idea that she could leave him alone with the | |
Influence of the Forest all about him to have its unimpeded way, she | |
felt the pangs of that subtle jealousy bite keen and close. He loved the | |
Forest better than herself, for he placed it first. Behind the words, | |
moreover, hid the unuttered thought that made her so uneasy. The terror | |
Sanderson had brought revived and shook its wings before her very eyes. | |
For the whole conversation, of which this was a fragment, conveyed the | |
unutterable implication that while he could not spare the trees, they | |
equally could not spare him. The vividness with which he managed to | |
conceal and yet betray the fact brought a profound distress that crossed | |
the border between presentiment and warning into positive alarm. | |
He clearly felt that the trees would miss him--the trees he tended, | |
guarded, watched over, loved. | |
"David, I shall stay here with you. I think you need me really,--don't | |
you?" Eagerly, with a touch of heart-felt passion, the words poured out. | |
"Now more than ever, dear. God bless you for you sweet unselfishness. | |
And your sacrifice," he added, "is all the greater because you cannot | |
understand the thing that makes it necessary for me to stay." | |
"Perhaps in the spring instead--" she said, with a tremor in the voice. | |
"In the spring--perhaps," he answered gently, almost beneath his breath. | |
"For they will not need me then. All the world can love them in the | |
spring. It's in the winter that they're lonely and neglected. I wish to | |
stay with them particularly then. I even feel I ought to--and I must." | |
And in this way, without further speech, the decision was made. Mrs. | |
Bittacy, at least, asked no more questions. Yet she could not bring | |
herself to show more sympathy than was necessary. She felt, for one | |
thing, that if she did, it might lead him to speak freely, and to tell | |
her things she could not possibly bear to know. And she dared not take | |
the risk of that. | |
# Chapter 7 | |
This was at the end of summer, but the autumn followed close. The | |
conversation really marked the threshold between the two seasons, and | |
marked at the same time the line between her husband's negative and | |
aggressive state. She almost felt she had done wrong to yield; he grew | |
so bold, concealment all discarded. He went, that is, quite openly to | |
the woods, forgetting all his duties, all his former occupations. He | |
even sought to coax her to go with him. The hidden thing blazed out | |
without disguise. And, while she trembled at his energy, she admired the | |
virile passion he displayed. Her jealousy had long ago retired before | |
her fear, accepting the second place. Her one desire now was to protect. | |
The wife turned wholly mother. | |
He said so little, but--he hated to come in. From morning to night he | |
wandered in the Forest; often he went out after dinner; his mind was | |
charged with trees--their foliage, growth, development; their wonder, | |
beauty, strength; their loneliness in isolation, their power in a herded | |
mass. He knew the effect of every wind upon them; the danger from the | |
boisterous north, the glory from the west, the eastern dryness, and the | |
soft, moist tenderness that a south wind left upon their thinning | |
boughs. He spoke all day of their sensations: how they drank the fading | |
sunshine, dreamed in the moonlight, thrilled to the kiss of stars. The | |
dew could bring them half the passion of the night, but frost sent them | |
plunging beneath the ground to dwell with hopes of a later coming | |
softness in their roots. They nursed the life they carried--insects, | |
larvae, chrysalis--and when the skies above them melted, he spoke of | |
them standing "motionless in an ecstasy of rain," or in the noon of | |
sunshine "self-poised upon their prodigy of shade." | |
And once in the middle of the night she woke at the sound of his voice, | |
and heard him--wide awake, not talking in his sleep--but talking towards | |
the window where the shadow of the cedar fell at noon: | |
> O art thou sighing for Lebanon | |
> In the long breeze that streams to thy delicious East? | |
> Sighing for Lebanon, | |
> Dark cedar; | |
and, when, half charmed, half terrified, she turned and called to him | |
by name, he merely said-- | |
"My dear, I felt the loneliness--suddenly realized it--the alien | |
desolation of that tree, set here upon our little lawn in England when | |
all her Eastern brothers call her in sleep." And the answer seemed so | |
queer, so "un-evangelical," that she waited in silence till he slept | |
again. The poetry passed her by. It seemed unnecessary and out of place. | |
It made her ache with suspicion, fear, jealousy. | |
The fear, however, seemed somehow all lapped up and banished soon | |
afterwards by her unwilling admiration of the rushing splendor of her | |
husband's state. Her anxiety, at any rate, shifted from the religious to | |
the medical. She thought he might be losing his steadiness of mind a | |
little. How often in her prayers she offered thanks for the guidance | |
that had made her stay with him to help and watch is impossible to say. | |
It certainly was twice a day. | |
She even went so far once, when Mr. Mortimer, the vicar, called, and | |
brought with him a more or less distinguished doctor--as to tell the | |
professional man privately some symptoms of her husband's queerness. And | |
his answer that there was "nothing he could prescribe for" added not a | |
little to her sense of unholy bewilderment. No doubt Sir James had never | |
been "consulted" under such unorthodox conditions before. His sense of | |
what was becoming naturally overrode his acquired instincts as a skilled | |
instrument that might help the race. | |
"No fever, you think?" she asked insistently with hurry, determined to | |
get something from him. | |
"Nothing that _I_ can deal with, as I told you, Madam," replied the | |
offended allopathic Knight. | |
Evidently he did not care about being invited to examine patients in | |
this surreptitious way before a teapot on the lawn, chance of a fee most | |
problematical. He liked to see a tongue and feel a thumping pulse; to | |
know the pedigree and bank account of his questioner as well. It was | |
most unusual, in abominable taste besides. Of course it was. But the | |
drowning woman seized the only straw she could. | |
For now the aggressive attitude of her husband overcame her to the point | |
where she found it difficult even to question him. Yet in the house he | |
was so kind and gentle, doing all he could to make her sacrifice as easy | |
as possible. | |
"David, you really _are_ unwise to go out now. The night is damp and | |
very chilly. The ground is soaked in dew. You'll catch your death of | |
cold." | |
His face lightened. "Won't you come with me, dear,--just for once? I'm | |
only going to the corner of the hollies to see the beech that stands so | |
lonely by itself." | |
She had been out with him in the short dark afternoon, and they had | |
passed that evil group of hollies where the gypsies camped. Nothing else | |
would grow there, but the hollies thrive upon the stony soil. | |
"David, the beech is all right and safe." She had learned his | |
phraseology a little, made clever out of due season by her love. | |
"There's no wind to-night." | |
"But it's rising," he answered, "rising in the east. I heard it in the | |
bare and hungry larches. They need the sun and dew, and always cry out | |
when the wind's upon them from the east." | |
She sent a short unspoken prayer most swiftly to her deity as she heard | |
him say it. For every time now, when he spoke in this familiar, intimate | |
way of the life of the trees, she felt a sheet of cold fasten tight | |
against her very skin and flesh. She shivered. How could he possibly | |
know such things? | |
Yet, in all else, and in the relations of his daily life, he was sane | |
and reasonable, loving, kind and tender. It was only on the subject of | |
the trees he seemed unhinged and queer. Most curiously it seemed that, | |
since the collapse of the cedar they both loved, though in different | |
fashion, his departure from the normal had increased. Why else did he | |
watch them as a man might watch a sickly child? Why did he hunger | |
especially in the dusk to catch their "mood of night" as he called it? | |
Why think so carefully upon them when the frost was threatening or the | |
wind appeared to rise? | |
As she put it so frequently now herself--How could he possibly _know_ | |
such things? | |
He went. As she closed the front door after him she heard the distant | |
roaring in the Forest. | |
And then it suddenly struck her: How could she know them too? | |
It dropped upon her like a blow that she felt at once all over, upon | |
body, heart and mind. The discovery rushed out from its ambush to | |
overwhelm. The truth of it, making all arguing futile, numbed her | |
faculties. But though at first it deadened her, she soon revived, and | |
her being rose into aggressive opposition. A wild yet calculated courage | |
like that which animates the leaders of splendid forlorn hopes flamed in | |
her little person--flamed grandly, and invincible. While knowing herself | |
insignificant and weak, she knew at the same time that power at her back | |
which moves the worlds. The faith that filled her was the weapon in her | |
hands, and the right by which she claimed it; but the spirit of utter, | |
selfless sacrifice that characterized her life was the means by which | |
she mastered its immediate use. For a kind of white and faultless | |
intuition guided her to the attack. Behind her stood her Bible and her | |
God. | |
How so magnificent a divination came to her at all may well be a matter | |
for astonishment, though some clue of explanation lies, perhaps, in the | |
very simpleness of her nature. At any rate, she saw quite clearly | |
certain things; saw them in moments only--after prayer, in the still | |
silence of the night, or when left alone those long hours in the house | |
with her knitting and her thoughts--and the guidance which then flashed | |
into her remained, even after the manner of its coming was forgotten. | |
They came to her, these things she saw, formless, wordless; she could | |
not put them into any kind of language; but by the very fact of being | |
uncaught in sentences they retained their original clear vigor. | |
Hours of patient waiting brought the first, and the others followed | |
easily afterwards, by degrees, on subsequent days, a little and a | |
little. Her husband had been gone since early morning, and had taken his | |
luncheon with him. She was sitting by the tea things, the cups and | |
teapot warmed, the muffins in the fender keeping hot, all ready for his | |
return, when she realized quite abruptly that this thing which took him | |
off, which kept him out so many hours day after day, this thing that was | |
against her own little will and instincts--was enormous as the sea. It | |
was no mere prettiness of single Trees, but something massed and | |
mountainous. About her rose the wall of its huge opposition to the sky, | |
its scale gigantic, its power utterly prodigious. What she knew of it | |
hitherto as green and delicate forms waving and rustling in the winds | |
was but, as it were the spray of foam that broke into sight upon the | |
nearer edge of viewless depths far, far away. The trees, indeed, were | |
sentinels set visibly about the limits of a camp that itself remained | |
invisible. The awful hum and murmur of the main body in the distance | |
passed into that still room about her with the firelight and hissing | |
kettle. Out yonder--in the Forest further out--the thing that was ever | |
roaring at the center was dreadfully increasing. | |
The sense of definite battle, too--battle between herself and the Forest | |
for his soul--came with it. Its presentiment was as clear as though | |
Thompson had come into the room and quietly told her that the cottage | |
was surrounded. "Please, ma'am, there are trees come up about the | |
house," she might have suddenly announced. And equally might have heard | |
her own answer: "It's all right, Thompson. The main body is still far | |
away." | |
Immediately upon its heels, then, came another truth, with a close | |
reality that shocked her. She saw that jealousy was not confined to the | |
human and animal world alone, but ran though all creation. The Vegetable | |
Kingdom knew it too. So-called inanimate nature shared it with the rest. | |
Trees felt it. This Forest just beyond the window--standing there in the | |
silence of the autumn evening across the little lawn--this Forest | |
understood it equally. The remorseless, branching power that sought to | |
keep exclusively for itself the thing it loved and needed, spread like a | |
running desire through all its million leaves and stems and roots. In | |
humans, of course, it was consciously directed; in animals it acted with | |
frank instinctiveness; but in trees this jealousy rose in some blind | |
tide of impersonal and unconscious wrath that would sweep opposition | |
from its path as the wind sweeps powdered snow from the surface of the | |
ice. Their number was a host with endless reinforcements, and once it | |
realized its passion was returned the power increased... Her husband | |
loved the trees... They had become aware of it... They would take him | |
from her in the end... | |
Then, while she heard his footsteps in the hall and the closing of the | |
front door, she saw a third thing clearly;--realized the widening of the | |
gap between herself and him. This other love had made it. All these | |
weeks of the summer when she felt so close to him, now especially when | |
she had made the biggest sacrifice of her life to stay by his side and | |
help him, he had been slowly, surely--drawing away. The estrangement was | |
here and now--a fact accomplished. It had been all this time maturing; | |
there yawned this broad deep space between them. Across the empty | |
distance she saw the change in merciless perspective. It revealed his | |
face and figure, dearly-loved, once fondly worshipped, far on the other | |
side in shadowy distance, small, the back turned from her, and moving | |
while she watched--moving away from her. | |
They had their tea in silence then. She asked no questions, he | |
volunteered no information of his day. The heart was big within her, and | |
the terrible loneliness of age spread through her like a rising icy | |
mist. She watched him, filling all his wants. His hair was untidy and | |
his boots were caked with blackish mud. He moved with a restless, | |
swaying motion that somehow blanched her cheek and sent a miserable | |
shivering down her back. It reminded her of trees. His eyes were very | |
bright. | |
He brought in with him an odor of the earth and forest that seemed to | |
choke her and make it difficult to breathe; and--what she noticed with a | |
climax of almost uncontrollable alarm--upon his face beneath the | |
lamplight shone traces of a mild, faint glory that made her think of | |
moonlight falling upon a wood through speckled shadows. It was his | |
new-found happiness that shone there, a happiness uncaused by her and in | |
which she had no part. | |
In his coat was a spray of faded yellow beech leaves. "I brought this | |
from the Forest to you," he said, with all the air that belonged to his | |
little acts of devotion long ago. And she took the spray of leaves | |
mechanically with a smile and a murmured "thank you, dear," as though he | |
had unknowingly put into her hands the weapon for her own destruction | |
and she had accepted it. | |
And when the tea was over and he left the room, he did not go to his | |
study, or to change his clothes. She heard the front door softly shut | |
behind him as he again went out towards the Forest. | |
A moment later she was in her room upstairs, kneeling beside the | |
bed--the side she slept on--and praying wildly through a flood of tears | |
that God would save and keep him to her. Wind brushed the window panes | |
behind her while she knelt. | |
# Chapter 8 | |
One sunny November morning, when the strain had reached a pitch that | |
made repression almost unmanageable, she came to an impulsive decision, | |
and obeyed it. Her husband had again gone out with luncheon for the day. | |
She took adventure in her hands and followed him. The power of | |
seeing-clear was strong upon her, forcing her up to some unnatural level | |
of understanding. To stay indoors and wait inactive for his return | |
seemed suddenly impossible. She meant to know what he knew, feel what he | |
felt, put herself in his place. She would dare the fascination of the | |
Forest--share it with him. It was greatly daring; but it would give her | |
greater understanding how to help and save him and therefore greater | |
Power. She went upstairs a moment first to pray. | |
In a thick, warm skirt, and wearing heavy boots--those walking boots she | |
used with him upon the mountains about Seillans--she left the cottage by | |
the back way and turned towards the Forest. She could not actually | |
follow him, for he had started off an hour before and she knew not | |
exactly his direction. What was so urgent in her was the wish to be with | |
him in the woods, to walk beneath leafless branches just as he did: to | |
be there when he was there, even though not together. For it had come to | |
her that she might thus share with him for once this horrible mighty | |
life and breathing of the trees he loved. In winter, he had said, they | |
needed him particularly, and winter now was coming. Her love must bring | |
her something of what he felt himself--the huge attraction, the suction | |
and the pull of all the trees. Thus, in some vicarious fashion, she | |
might share, though unknown to himself, this very thing that was taking | |
him away from her. She might thus even lessen its attack upon himself. | |
The impulse came to her clairvoyantly, and she obeyed without a sign of | |
hesitation. Deeper comprehension would come to her of the whole awful | |
puzzle. And come it did, yet not in the way she imagined and expected. | |
The air was very still, the sky a cold pale blue, but cloudless. The | |
entire Forest stood silent, at attention. It knew perfectly well that | |
she had come. It knew the moment when she entered; watched and followed | |
her; and behind her something dropped without a sound and shut her in. | |
Her feet upon the glades of mossy grass fell silently, as the oaks and | |
beeches shifted past in rows and took up their positions at her back. It | |
was not pleasant, this way they grew so dense behind her the instant she | |
had passed. She realized that they gathered in an ever-growing army, | |
massed, herded, trooped, between her and the cottage, shutting off | |
escape. They let her pass so easily, but to get out again she would know | |
them differently--thick, crowded, branches all drawn and hostile. | |
Already their increasing numbers bewildered her. In front, they looked | |
so sparse and scattered, with open spaces where the sunshine fell; but | |
when she turned it seemed they stood so close together, a serried army, | |
darkening the sunlight. They blocked the day, collected all the shadows, | |
stood with their leafless and forbidding rampart like the night. They | |
swallowed down into themselves the very glade by which she came. For | |
when she glanced behind her--rarely--the way she had come was shadowy | |
and lost. | |
Yet the morning sparkled overhead, and a glance of excitement ran | |
quivering through the entire day. It was what she always knew as | |
"children's weather," so clear and harmless, without a sign of danger, | |
nothing ominous to threaten or alarm. Steadfast in her purpose, looking | |
back as little as she dared, Sophia Bittacy marched slowly and | |
deliberately into the heart of the silent woods, deeper, ever deeper. | |
And then, abruptly, in an open space where the sunshine fell unhindered, | |
she stopped. It was one of the breathing places of the forest. Dead, | |
withered bracken lay in patches of unsightly grey. There were bits of | |
heather too. All round the trees stood looking on--oak, beech, holly, | |
ash, pine, larch, with here and there small groups of juniper. On the | |
lips of this breathing space of the woods she stopped to rest, | |
disobeying her instinct for the first time. For the other instinct in | |
her was to go on. She did not really want to rest. | |
This was the little act that brought it to her--the wireless message | |
from a vast Emitter. | |
"I've been stopped," she thought to herself with a horrid qualm. | |
She looked about her in this quiet, ancient place. Nothing stirred. | |
There was no life nor sign of life; no birds sang; no rabbits scuttled | |
off at her approach. The stillness was bewildering, and gravity hung | |
down upon it like a heavy curtain. It hushed the heart in her. Could | |
this be part of what her husband felt--this sense of thick entanglement | |
with stems, boughs, roots, and foliage? | |
"This has always been as it is now," she thought, yet not knowing why | |
she thought it. "Ever since the Forest grew it has been still and secret | |
here. It has never changed." The curtain of silence drew closer while | |
she said it, thickening round her. "For a thousand years--I'm here with | |
a thousand years. And behind this place stand all the forests of the | |
world!" | |
So foreign to her temperament were such thoughts, and so alien to all | |
she had been taught to look for in Nature, that she strove against them. | |
She made an effort to oppose. But they clung and haunted just the same; | |
they refused to be dispersed. The curtain hung dense and heavy as though | |
its texture thickened. The air with difficulty came through. | |
And then she thought that curtain stirred. There was movement somewhere. | |
That obscure dim thing which ever broods behind the visible appearances | |
of trees came nearer to her. She caught her breath and stared about her, | |
listening intently. The trees, perhaps because she saw them more in | |
detail now, it seemed to her had changed. A vague, faint alteration | |
spread over them, at first so slight she scarcely would admit it, then | |
growing steadily, though still obscurely, outwards. "They tremble and | |
are changed," flashed through her mind the horrid line that Sanderson | |
had quoted. Yet the change was graceful for all the uncouthness | |
attendant upon the size of so vast a movement. They had turned in her | |
direction. That was it. _They saw her._ In this way the change | |
expressed itself in her groping, terrified thought. Till now it had been | |
otherwise: she had looked at them from her own point of view; now they | |
looked at her from theirs. They stared her in the face and eyes; they | |
stared at her all over. In some unkind, resentful, hostile way, they | |
watched her. Hitherto in life she had watched them variously, in | |
superficial ways, reading into them what her own mind suggested. Now | |
they read into her the things they actually _were_, and not merely | |
another's interpretations of them. | |
They seemed in their motionless silence there instinct with life, a | |
life, moreover, that breathed about her a species of terrible soft | |
enchantment that bewitched. It branched all through her, climbing to the | |
brain. The Forest held her with its huge and giant fascination. In this | |
secluded breathing spot that the centuries had left untouched, she had | |
stepped close against the hidden pulse of the whole collective mass of | |
them. They were aware of her and had turned to gaze with their myriad, | |
vast sight upon the intruder. They shouted at her in the silence. For | |
she wanted to look back at them, but it was like staring at a crowd, and | |
her glance merely shifted from one tree to another, hurriedly, finding | |
in none the one she sought. They saw her so easily, each and all. The | |
rows that stood behind her also stared. But she could not return the | |
gaze. Her husband, she realized, could. And their steady stare shocked | |
her as though in some sense she knew that she was naked. They saw so | |
much of her: she saw of them--so little. | |
Her efforts to return their gaze were pitiful. The constant shifting | |
increased her bewilderment. Conscious of this awful and enormous sight | |
all over her, she let her eyes first rest upon the ground, and then she | |
closed them altogether. She kept the lids as tight together as ever they | |
would go. | |
But the sight of the trees came even into that inner darkness behind the | |
fastened lids, for there was no escaping it. Outside, in the light, she | |
still knew that the leaves of the hollies glittered smoothly, that the | |
dead foliage of the oaks hung crisp in the air about her, that the | |
needles of the little junipers were pointing all one way. The spread | |
perception of the Forest was focused on herself, and no mere shutting of | |
the eyes could hide its scattered yet concentrated stare--the | |
all-inclusive vision of great woods. | |
There was no wind, yet here and there a single leaf hanging by its | |
dried-up stalk shook all alone with great rapidity--rattling. It was the | |
sentry drawing attention to her presence. And then, again, as once long | |
weeks before, she felt their Being as a tide about her. The tide had | |
turned. That memory of her childhood sands came back, when the nurse | |
said, "The tide has turned now; we must go in," and she saw the mass of | |
piled-up waters, green and heaped to the horizon, and realized that it | |
was slowly coming in. The gigantic mass of it, too vast for hurry, | |
loaded with massive purpose, she used to feel, was moving towards | |
herself. The fluid body of the sea was creeping along beneath the sky to | |
the very spot upon the yellow sands where she stood and played. The | |
sight and thought of it had always overwhelmed her with a sense of | |
awe--as though her puny self were the object of the whole sea's advance. | |
"The tide has turned; we had better now go in." | |
This was happening now about her--the same thing was happening in the | |
woods--slow, sure, and steady, and its motion as little discernible as | |
the sea's. The tide had turned. The small human presence that had | |
ventured among its green and mountainous depths, moreover, was its | |
objective. | |
That all was clear within her while she sat and waited with tight-shut | |
lids. But the next moment she opened her eyes with a sudden realization | |
of something more. The presence that it sought was after all not hers. | |
It was the presence of some one other than herself. And then she | |
understood. Her eyes had opened with a click, it seemed, but the sound, | |
in reality, was outside herself. | |
Across the clearing where the sunshine lay so calm and still, she saw | |
the figure of her husband moving among the trees--a man, like a tree, | |
walking. | |
With hands behind his back, and head uplifted, he moved quite slowly, as | |
though absorbed in his own thoughts. Hardly fifty paces separated them, | |
but he had no inkling of her presence there so near. With mind intent | |
and senses all turned inwards, he marched past her like a figure in a | |
dream, and like a figure in a dream she saw him go. Love, yearning, pity | |
rose in a storm within her, but as in nightmare she found no words or | |
movement possible. She sat and watched him go--go from her--go into the | |
deeper reaches of the green enveloping woods. Desire to save, to bid him | |
stop and turn, ran in a passion through her being, but there was nothing | |
she could do. She saw him go away from her, go of his own accord and | |
willingly beyond her; she saw the branches drop about his steps and hid | |
him. His figure faded out among the speckled shade and sunlight. The | |
trees covered him. The tide just took him, all unresisting and content | |
to go. Upon the bosom of the green soft sea he floated away beyond her | |
reach of vision. Her eyes could follow him no longer. He was gone. | |
And then for the first time she realized, even at that distance, that | |
the look upon his face was one of peace and happiness--rapt, and caught | |
away in joy, a look of youth. That expression now he never showed to | |
her. But she _had_ known it. Years ago, in the early days of their | |
married life, she had seen it on his face. Now it no longer obeyed the | |
summons of her presence and her love. The woods alone could call it | |
forth; it answered to the trees; the Forest had taken every part of | |
him--from her--his very heart and soul. | |
Her sight that had plunged inwards to the fields of faded memory now | |
came back to outer things again. She looked about her, and her love, | |
returning empty-handed and unsatisfied, left her open to the invading of | |
the bleakest terror she had ever known. That such things could be real | |
and happen found her helpless utterly. Terror invaded the quietest | |
corners of her heart, that had never yet known quailing. She could | |
not--for moments at any rate--reach either her Bible or her God. | |
Desolate in an empty world of fear she sat with eyes too dry and hot for | |
tears, yet with a coldness as of ice upon her very flesh. She stared, | |
unseeing, about her. That horror which stalks in the stillness of the | |
noonday, when the glare of an artificial sunshine lights up the | |
motionless trees, moved all about her. In front and behind she was aware | |
of it. Beyond this stealthy silence, just within the edge of it, the | |
things of another world were passing. But she could not know them. Her | |
husband knew them, knew their beauty and their awe, yes, but for her | |
they were out of reach. She might not share with him the very least of | |
them. It seemed that behind and through the glare of this wintry noonday | |
in the heart of the woods there brooded another universe of life and | |
passion, for her all unexpressed. The silence veiled it, the stillness | |
hid it; but he moved with it all and understood. His love interpreted | |
it. | |
She rose to her feet, tottered feebly, and collapsed again upon the | |
moss. Yet for herself she felt no terror; no little personal fear could | |
touch her whose anguish and deep longing streamed all out to him whom | |
she so bravely loved. In this time of utter self-forgetfulness, when she | |
realized that the battle was hopeless, thinking she had lost even her | |
God, she found Him again quite close beside her like a little Presence | |
in this terrible heart of the hostile Forest. But at first she did not | |
recognize that He was there; she did not know Him in that strangely | |
unacceptable guise. For He stood so very close, so very intimate, so | |
very sweet and comforting, and yet so hard to understand--as | |
Resignation. | |
Once more she struggled to her feet, and this time turned successfully | |
and slowly made her way along the mossy glade by which she came. And at | |
first she marveled, though only for a moment, at the ease with which she | |
found the path. For a moment only, because almost at once she saw the | |
truth. The trees were glad that she should go. They helped her on her | |
way. The Forest did not want her. | |
The tide was coming in, indeed, yet not for her. | |
And so, in another of those flashes of clear-vision that of late had | |
lifted life above the normal level, she saw and understood the whole | |
terrible thing complete. | |
Till now, though unexpressed in thought or language, her fear had been | |
that the woods her husband loved would somehow take him from her--to | |
merge his life in theirs--even to kill him on some mysterious way. This | |
time she saw her deep mistake, and so seeing, let in upon herself the | |
fuller agony of horror. For their jealousy was not the petty jealousy of | |
animals or humans. They wanted him because they loved him, but they did | |
_ not_ want him dead. Full charged with his splendid life and enthusiasm | |
they wanted him. They wanted him--alive. | |
It was she who stood in their way, and it was she whom they intended to | |
remove. | |
This was what brought the sense of abject helplessness. She stood upon | |
the sands against an entire ocean slowly rolling in against her. For, as | |
all the forces of a human being combine unconsciously to eject a grain | |
of sand that has crept beneath the skin to cause discomfort, so the | |
entire mass of what Sanderson had called the Collective Consciousness of | |
the Forest strove to eject this human atom that stood across the path of | |
its desire. Loving her husband, she had crept beneath its skin. It was | |
her they would eject and take away; it was her they would destroy, not | |
him. Him, whom they loved and needed, they would keep alive. They meant | |
to take him living. She reached the house in safety, though she never | |
remembered how she found her way. It was made all simple for her. The | |
branches almost urged her out. | |
But behind her, as she left the shadowed precincts, she felt as though | |
some towering Angel of the Woods let fall across the threshold the | |
flaming sword of a countless multitude of leaves that formed behind her | |
a barrier, green, shimmering, and impassable. Into the Forest she never | |
walked again. | |
And she went about her daily duties with a calm and quietness that was a | |
perpetual astonishment even to herself, for it hardly seemed of this | |
world at all. She talked to her husband when he came in for tea--after | |
dark. Resignation brings a curious large courage--when there is nothing | |
more to lose. The soul takes risks, and dares. Is it a curious short-cut | |
sometimes to the heights? | |
"David, I went into the Forest, too, this morning, soon after you I | |
went. I saw you there." | |
"Wasn't it wonderful?" he answered simply, inclining his head a little. | |
There was no surprise or annoyance in his look; a mild and gentle | |
_ennui_ rather. He asked no real question. She thought of some garden | |
tree the wind attacks too suddenly, bending it over when it does not | |
want to bend--the mild unwillingness with which it yields. She often saw | |
him this way now, in the terms of trees. | |
"It was very wonderful indeed, dear, yes," she replied low, her voice | |
not faltering though indistinct. "But for me it was too--too strange and | |
big." | |
The passion of tears lay just below the quiet voice all unbetrayed. | |
Somehow she kept them back. | |
There was a pause, and then he added: | |
"I find it more and more so every day." His voice passed through the | |
lamp-lit room like a murmur of the wind in branches. The look of youth | |
and happiness she had caught upon his face out there had wholly gone, | |
and an expression of weariness was in its place, as of a man distressed | |
vaguely at finding himself in uncongenial surroundings where he is | |
slightly ill at ease. It was the house he hated--coming back to rooms | |
and walls and furniture. The ceilings and closed windows confined him. | |
Yet, in it, no suggestion that he found _her_ irksome. Her presence | |
seemed of no account at all; indeed, he hardly noticed her. For whole | |
long periods he lost her, did not know that she was there. He had no | |
need of her. He lived alone. Each lived alone. | |
The outward signs by which she recognized that the awful battle was | |
against her and the terms of surrender accepted were pathetic. She put | |
the medicine-chest away upon the shelf; she gave the orders for his | |
pocket-luncheon before he asked; she went to bed alone and early, | |
leaving the front door unlocked, with milk and bread and butter in the | |
hall beside the lamp--all concessions that she felt impelled to make. | |
Fore more and more, unless the weather was too violent, he went out | |
after dinner even, staying for hours in the woods. But she never slept | |
until she heard the front door close below, and knew soon afterwards his | |
careful step come creeping up the stairs and into the room so softly. | |
Until she heard his regular deep breathing close beside her, she lay | |
awake. All strength or desire to resist had gone for good. The thing | |
against her was too huge and powerful. Capitulation was complete, a fact | |
accomplished. She dated it from the day she followed him to the Forest. | |
Moreover, the time for evacuation--her own evacuation--seemed | |
approaching. It came stealthily ever nearer, surely and slowly as the | |
rising tide she used to dread. At the high-water mark she stood waiting | |
calmly--waiting to be swept away. Across the lawn all those terrible | |
days of early winter the encircling Forest watched it come, guiding its | |
silent swell and currents towards her feet. Only she never once gave up | |
her Bible or her praying. This complete resignation, moreover, had | |
somehow brought to her a strange great understanding, and if she could | |
not share her husband's horrible abandonment to powers outside himself, | |
she could, and did, in some half-groping way grasp at shadowy meanings | |
that might make such abandonment--possible, yes, but more than merely | |
possible--in some extraordinary sense not evil. | |
Hitherto she had divided the beyond-world into two sharp halves--spirits | |
good or spirits evil. But thoughts came to her now, on soft and very | |
tentative feet, like the footsteps of the gods which are on wool, that | |
besides these definite classes, there might be other Powers as well, | |
belonging definitely to neither one nor other. Her thought stopped dead | |
at that. But the big idea found lodgment in her little mind, and, owing | |
to the largeness of her heart, remained there unejected. It even brought | |
a certain solace with it. | |
The failure--or unwillingness, as she preferred to state it--of her God | |
to interfere and help, that also she came in a measure to understand. | |
For here, she found it more and more possible to imagine, was perhaps no | |
positive evil at work, but only something that usually stands away from | |
humankind, something alien and not commonly recognized. There _was_ a | |
gulf fixed between the two, and Mr. Sanderson _had_ bridged it, by his | |
talk, his explanations, his attitude of mind. Through these her husband | |
had found the way into it. His temperament and natural passion for the | |
woods had prepared the soul in him, and the moment he saw the way to go | |
he took it--the line of least resistance. Life was, of course, open to | |
all, and her husband had the right to choose it where he would. He had | |
chosen it--away from her, away from other men, but not necessarily away | |
from God. This was an enormous concession that she skirted, never really | |
faced; it was too revolutionary to face. But its possibility peeped into | |
her bewildered mind. It might delay his progress, or it might advance | |
it. Who could know? And why should God, who ordered all things with such | |
magnificent detail, from the pathway of a sun to the falling of a | |
sparrow, object to his free choice, or interfere to hinder him and stop? | |
She came to realize resignation, that is, in another aspect. It gave her | |
comfort, if not peace. She fought against all belittling of her God. It | |
was, perhaps, enough that He--knew. | |
"You are not alone, dear in the trees out there?" she ventured one | |
night, as he crept on tiptoe into the room not far from midnight. "God | |
is with you?" | |
"Magnificently," was the immediate answer, given with enthusiasm, "for | |
He is everywhere. And I only wish that you--" | |
But she stuffed the clothes against her ears. That invitation on his | |
lips was more than she could bear to hear. It seemed like asking her to | |
hurry to her own execution. She buried her face among the sheets and | |
blankets, shaking all over like a leaf. | |
# Chapter 9 | |
And so the thought that she was the one to go remained and grew. It was, | |
perhaps, first sign of that weakening of the mind which indicated the | |
singular manner of her going. For it was her mental opposition, the | |
trees felt, that stood in their way. Once that was overcome, | |
obliterated, her physical presence did not matter. She would be | |
harmless. | |
Having accepted defeat, because she had come to feel that his obsession | |
was not actually evil, she accepted at the same time the conditions of | |
an atrocious loneliness. She stood now from her husband farther than | |
from the moon. They had no visitors. Callers were few and far between, | |
and less encouraged than before. The empty dark of winter was before | |
them. Among the neighbors was none in whom, without disloyalty to her | |
husband, she could confide. Mr. Mortimer, had he been single, might have | |
helped her in this desert of solitude that preyed upon her mind, but his | |
wife was there the obstacle; for Mrs. Mortimer wore sandals, believed | |
that nuts were the complete food of man, and indulged in other | |
idiosyncrasies that classed her inevitably among the "latter signs" | |
which Mrs. Bittacy had been taught to dread as dangerous. She stood most | |
desolately alone. | |
Solitude, therefore, in which the mind unhindered feeds upon its own | |
delusions, was the assignable cause of her gradual mental disruption and | |
collapse. | |
With the definite arrival of the colder weather her husband gave up his | |
rambles after dark; evenings were spent together over the fire; he read | |
The Times; they even talked about their postponed visit abroad in the | |
coming spring. No restlessness was on him at the change; he seemed | |
content and easy in his mind; spoke little of the trees and woods; | |
enjoyed far better health than if there had been change of scene, and to | |
herself was tender, kind, solicitous over trifles, as in the distant | |
days of their first honeymoon. | |
But this deep calm could not deceive her; it meant, she fully | |
understood, that he felt sure of himself, sure of her, and sure of the | |
trees as well. It all lay buried in the depths of him, too secure and | |
deep, too intimately established in his central being to permit of those | |
surface fluctuations which betray disharmony within. His life was hid | |
with trees. Even the fever, so dreaded in the damp of winter, left him | |
free. She now knew why: the fever was due to their efforts to obtain | |
him, his efforts to respond and go--physical results of a fierce unrest | |
he had never understood till Sanderson came with his wicked | |
explanations. Now it was otherwise. The bridge was made. And--he had | |
gone. | |
And she, brave, loyal, and consistent soul, found herself utterly alone, | |
even trying to make his passage easy. It seemed that she stood at the | |
bottom of some huge ravine that opened in her mind, the walls whereof | |
instead of rock were trees that reached enormous to the sky, engulfing | |
her. God alone knew that she was there. He watched, permitted, even | |
perhaps approved. At any rate--He knew. | |
During those quiet evenings in the house, moreover, while they sat over | |
the fire listening to the roaming winds about the house, her husband | |
knew continual access to the world his alien love had furnished for him. | |
Never for a single instant was he cut off from it. She gazed at the | |
newspaper spread before his face and knees, saw the smoke of his cheroot | |
curl up above the edge, noticed the little hole in his evening socks, | |
and listened to the paragraphs he read aloud as of old. But this was all | |
a veil he spread about himself of purpose. Behind it--he escaped. It was | |
the conjurer's trick to divert the sight to unimportant details while | |
the essential thing went forward unobserved. He managed wonderfully; she | |
loved him for the pains he took to spare her distress; but all the while | |
she knew that the body lolling in that armchair before her eyes | |
contained the merest fragment of his actual self. It was little better | |
than a corpse. It was an empty shell. The essential soul of him was out | |
yonder with the Forest--farther out near that ever-roaring heart of it. | |
And, with the dark, the Forest came up boldly and pressed against the | |
very walls and windows, peering in upon them, joining hands above the | |
slates and chimneys. The winds were always walking on the lawn and | |
gravel paths; steps came and went and came again; some one seemed always | |
talking in the woods, some one was in the building too. She passed them | |
on the stairs, or running soft and muffled, very large and gentle, down | |
the passages and landings after dusk, as though loose fragments of the | |
Day had broken off and stayed there caught among the shadows, trying to | |
get out. They blundered silently all about the house. They waited till | |
she passed, then made a run for it. And her husband always knew. She saw | |
him more than once deliberately avoid them--because _she_ was there. | |
More than once, too, she saw him stand and listen when he thought she | |
was not near, then heard herself the long bounding stride of their | |
approach across the silent garden. Already _he_ had heard them in the | |
windy distance of the night, far, far away. They sped, she well knew, | |
along that glade of mossy turf by which she last came out; it cushioned | |
their tread exactly as it had cushioned her own. | |
It seemed to her the trees were always in the house with him, and in | |
their very bedroom. He welcomed them, unaware that she also knew, and | |
trembled. | |
One night in their bedroom it caught her unawares. She woke out of deep | |
sleep and it came upon her before she could gather her forces for | |
control. | |
The day had been wildly boisterous, but now the wind had dropped, only | |
its rags went fluttering through the night. The rays of the full moon | |
fell in a shower between the branches. Overhead still raced the scud and | |
wrack, shaped like hurrying monsters; but below the earth was quiet. | |
Still and dripping stood the hosts of trees. Their trunks gleamed wet | |
and sparkling where the moon caught them. There was a strong smell of | |
mould and fallen leaves. The air was sharp--heavy with odor. | |
And she knew all this the instant that she woke; for it seemed to her | |
that she had been elsewhere--following her husband--as though she had | |
been _out_! There was no dream at all, merely the definite, haunting | |
certainty. It dived away, lost, buried in the night. She sat upright in | |
bed. She had come back. | |
The room shone pale in the moonlight reflected through the windows, for | |
the blinds were up, and she saw her husband's form beside her, | |
motionless in deep sleep. But what caught her unawares was the horrid | |
thing that by this fact of sudden, unexpected waking she had surprised | |
these other things in the room, beside the very bed, gathered close | |
about him while he slept. It was their dreadful boldness--herself of no | |
account as it were--that terrified her into screaming before she could | |
collect her powers to prevent. She screamed before she realized what she | |
did--a long, high shriek of terror that filled the room, yet made so | |
little actual sound. For wet and shimmering presences stood grouped all | |
round that bed. She saw their outline underneath the ceiling, the green, | |
spread bulk of them, their vague extension over walls and furniture. | |
They shifted to and fro, massed yet translucent, mild yet thick, moving | |
and turning within themselves to a hushed noise of multitudinous soft | |
rustling. In their sound was something very sweet and sinning that fell | |
into her with a spell of horrible enchantment. They were so mild, each | |
one alone, yet so terrific in their combination. Cold seized her. The | |
sheets against her body had turned to ice. | |
She screamed a second time, though the sound hardly issued from her | |
throat. The spell sank deeper, reaching to the heart; for it softened | |
all the currents of her blood and took life from her in a | |
stream--towards themselves. Resistance in that moment seemed impossible. | |
Her husband then stirred in his sleep, and woke. And, instantly, the | |
forms drew up, erect, and gathered themselves in some amazing way | |
together. They lessened in extent--then scattered through the air like | |
an effect of light when shadows seek to smother it. It was tremendous, | |
yet most exquisite. A sheet of pale-green shadow that yet had form and | |
substance filled the room. There was a rush of silent movement, as the | |
Presences drew past her through the air,--and they were gone. | |
But, clearest of all, she saw the manner of their going; for she | |
recognized in their tumult of escape by the window open at the top, the | |
same wide "looping circles"--spirals as it seemed--that she had seen | |
upon the lawn those weeks ago when Sanderson had talked. The room once | |
more was empty. | |
In the collapse that followed, she heard her husband's voice, as though | |
coming from some great distance. Her own replies she heard as well. Both | |
were so strange and unlike their normal speech, the very words | |
unnatural. | |
"What is it, dear? Why do you wake me _now_ ?" And his voice whispered | |
it with a sighing sound, like wind in pine boughs. | |
"A moment since something went past me through the air of the room. Back | |
to the night outside it went." Her voice, too, held the same note as of | |
wind entangled among too many leaves. | |
"My dear, it _was_ the wind." | |
"But it called, David. It was calling _you_--by name!" | |
"The air of the branches, dear, was what you heard. Now, sleep again, I | |
beg you, sleep." | |
"It had a crowd of eyes all through and over it--before and behind--" | |
Her voice grew louder. But his own in reply sank lower, far away, and | |
oddly hushed. | |
"The moonlight, dear, upon the sea of twigs and boughs in the rain, was | |
what you saw." | |
"But it frightened me. I've lost my God--and you--I'm cold as death!" | |
"My dear, it is the cold of the early morning hours. The whole world | |
sleeps. Now sleep again yourself." | |
He whispered close to her ear. She felt his hand stroking her. His voice | |
was soft and very soothing. But only a part of him was there; only a | |
part of him was speaking; it was a half-emptied body that lay beside her | |
and uttered these strange sentences, even forcing her own singular | |
choice of words. The horrible, dim enchantment of the trees was close | |
about them in the room--gnarled, ancient, lonely trees of winter, | |
whispering round the human life they loved. | |
"And let me sleep again," she heard him murmur as he settled down among | |
the clothes, "sleep back into that deep, delicious peace from which you | |
called me." | |
His dreamy, happy tone, and that look of youth and joy she discerned | |
upon his features even in the filtered moonlight, touched her again as | |
with the spell of those shining, mild green presences. It sank down into | |
her. She felt sleep grope for her. On the threshold of slumber one of | |
those strange vagrant voices that loss of consciousness lets loose cried | |
faintly in her heart-- | |
"There is joy in the Forest over one sinner that--" | |
Then sleep took her before she had time to realize even that she was | |
vilely parodying one of her most precious texts, and that the | |
irreverence was ghastly. | |
And though she quickly slept again, her sleep was not as usual, | |
dreamless. It was not woods and trees she dreamed of, but a small and | |
curious dream that kept coming again and again upon her; that she stood | |
upon a wee, bare rock I the sea, and that the tide was rising. The water | |
first came to her feet, then to her knees, then to her waist. Each time | |
the dream returned, the tide seemed higher. Once it rose to her neck, | |
once even to her mouth, covering her lips for a moment so that she could | |
not breathe. She did not wake between the dreams; a period of drab and | |
dreamless slumber intervened. But, finally, the water rose above her | |
eyes and face, completely covering her head. | |
And then came explanation--the sort of explanation dreams bring. She | |
understood. For, beneath the water, she had seen the world of seaweed | |
rising from the bottom of the sea like a forest of dense green-long, | |
sinuous stems, immense thick branches, millions of feelers spreading | |
through the darkened watery depths the power of their ocean foliage. The | |
Vegetable Kingdom was even in the sea. It was everywhere. Earth, air, | |
and water helped it, way of escape there was none. | |
And even underneath the sea she heard that terrible sound of | |
roaring--was it surf or wind or voices?--further out, yet coming | |
steadily towards her. | |
And so, in the loneliness of that drab English winter, the mind of Mrs. | |
Bittacy, preying upon itself, and fed by constant dread, went lost in | |
disproportion. Dreariness filled the weeks with dismal, sunless skies | |
and a clinging moisture that knew no wholesome tonic of keen frosts. | |
Alone with her thoughts, both her husband and her God withdrawn into | |
distance, she counted the days to Spring. She groped her way, stumbling | |
down the long dark tunnel. Through the arch at the far end lay a | |
brilliant picture of the violet sea sparkling on the coast of France. | |
There lay safety and escape for both of them, could she but hold on. | |
Behind her the trees blocked up the other entrance. She never once | |
looked back. | |
She drooped. Vitality passed from her, drawn out and away as by some | |
steady suction. Immense and incessant was this sensation of her powers | |
draining off. The taps were all turned on. Her personality, as it were, | |
streamed steadily away, coaxed outwards by this Power that never wearied | |
and seemed inexhaustible. It won her as the full moon wins the tide. She | |
waned; she faded; she obeyed. | |
At first she watched the process, and recognized exactly what was going | |
on. Her physical life, and that balance of mind which depends on | |
physical well-being, were being slowly undermined. She saw that clearly. | |
Only the soul, dwelling like a star apart from these and independent of | |
them, lay safe somewhere--with her distant God. That she | |
knew--tranquilly. The spiritual love that linked her to her husband was | |
safe from all attack. Later, in His good time, they would merge together | |
again because of it. But meanwhile, all of her that had kinship with the | |
earth was slowly going. This separation was being remorselessly | |
accomplished. Every part of her the trees could touch was being steadily | |
drained from her. She was being--removed. | |
After a time, however, even this power of realization went, so that she | |
no longer "watched the process" or knew exactly what was going on. The | |
one satisfaction she had known--the feeling that it was sweet to suffer | |
for his sake--went with it. She stood utterly alone with this terror of | |
the trees ... mid the ruins of her broken and disordered mind. | |
She slept badly; woke in the morning with hot and tired eyes; her head | |
ached dully; she grew confused in thought and lost the clues of daily | |
life in the most feeble fashion. At the same time she lost sight, too, | |
of that brilliant picture at the exist of the tunnel; it faded away into | |
a tiny semicircle of pale light, the violet sea and the sunshine the | |
merest point of white, remote as a star and equally inaccessible. She | |
knew now that she could never reach it. And through the darkness that | |
stretched behind, the power of the trees came close and caught her, | |
twining about her feet and arms, climbing to her very lips. She woke at | |
night, finding it difficult to breathe. There seemed wet leaves pressing | |
against her mouth, and soft green tendrils clinging to her neck. Her | |
feet were heavy, half rooted, as it were, in deep, thick earth. Huge | |
creepers stretched along the whole of that black tunnel, feeling about | |
her person for points where they might fasten well, as ivy or the giant | |
parasites of the Vegetable Kingdom settle down on the trees themselves | |
to sap their life and kill them. | |
Slowly and surely the morbid growth possessed her life and held her. She | |
feared those very winds that ran about the wintry forest. They were in | |
league with it. They helped it everywhere. | |
"Why don't you sleep, dear?" It was her husband now who played the rĂ´le | |
of nurse, tending her little wants with an honest care that at least | |
aped the services of love. He was so utterly unconscious of the raging | |
battle he had caused. "What is it keeps you so wide awake and restless?" | |
"The winds," she whispered in the dark. For hours she had been watching | |
the tossing of the trees through the blindless windows. "They go walking | |
and talking everywhere to-night, keeping me awake. And all the time they | |
call so loudly to you." | |
And his strange whispered answer appalled her for a moment until the | |
meaning of it faded and left her in a dark confusion of the mind that | |
was now becoming almost permanent. | |
"The trees excite them in the night. The winds are the great swift | |
carriers. Go with them, dear--and not against. You'll find sleep that | |
way if you do." | |
"The storm is rising," she began, hardly knowing what she said. | |
"All the more then--go with them. Don't resist. They'll take you to the | |
trees, that's all." | |
Resist! The word touched on the button of some text that once had helped | |
her. | |
"Resist the devil and he will flee from you," she heard her whispered | |
answer, and the same second had buried her face beneath the clothes in a | |
flood of hysterical weeping. | |
But her husband did not seem disturbed. Perhaps he did not hear it, for | |
the wind ran just then against the windows with a booming shout, and the | |
roaring of the Forest farther out came behind the blow, surging into the | |
room. Perhaps, too, he was already asleep again. She slowly regained a | |
sort of dull composure. Her face emerged from the tangle of sheets and | |
blankets. With a growing terror over her--she listened. The storm was | |
rising. It came with a sudden and impetuous rush that made all further | |
sleep for her impossible. | |
Alone in a shaking world, it seemed, she lay and listened. That storm | |
interpreted for her mind the climax. The Forest bellowed out its victory | |
to the winds; the winds in turn proclaimed it to the Night. The whole | |
world knew of her complete defeat, her loss, her little human pain. This | |
was the roar and shout of victory that she listened to. | |
For, unmistakably, the trees were shouting in the dark. These were | |
sounds, too, like the flapping of great sails, a thousand at a time, and | |
sometimes reports that resembled more than anything else the distant | |
booming of enormous drums. The trees stood up--the whole beleaguering | |
host of them stood up--and with the uproar of their million branches | |
drummed the thundering message out across the night. It seemed as if | |
they had all broken loose. Their roots swept trailing over field and | |
hedge and roof. They tossed their bushy heads beneath the clouds with a | |
wild, delighted shuffling of great boughs. With trunks upright they | |
raced leaping through the sky. There was upheaval and adventure in the | |
awful sound they made, and their cry was like the cry of a sea that has | |
broken through its gates and poured loose upon the world... | |
Through it all her husband slept peacefully as though he heard it not. | |
It was, as she well knew, the sleep of the semi-dead. For he was out | |
with all that clamoring turmoil. The part of him that she had lost was | |
there. The form that slept so calmly at her side was but the shell, half | |
emptied. | |
And when the winter's morning stole upon the scene at length, with a | |
pale, washed sunshine that followed the departing tempest, the first | |
thing she saw, as she crept to the window and looked out, was the ruined | |
cedar lying on the lawn. Only the gaunt and crippled trunk of it | |
remained. The single giant bough that had been left to it lay dark upon | |
the grass, sucked endways towards the Forest by a great wind eddy. It | |
lay there like a mass of drift-wood from a wreck, left by the ebbing of | |
a high spring-tide upon the sands--remnant of some friendly, splendid | |
vessel that once sheltered men. | |
And in the distance she heard the roaring of the Forest further out. Her | |
husband's voice was in it. | |
* * * | |
source: gopher://gopher.pglaf.org/1/1/1/3/7/11377/ | |
tags: fantasy,personal anthology,outdoor | |
# Tags | |
fantasy | |
personal anthology | |
outdoor |