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# 2018-06-11 - Embracing Your Subconscious by Jenny Davidow | |
Book cover | |
# Chapter 1 | |
Most of your beliefs and expectations are based on your childhood | |
experiences, many of which you may not consciously remember. These | |
expectations and beliefs form a subconscious "blueprint" that | |
influences your present behavior and well-being, for better or worse, | |
far more than you realize. | |
Drawing on the Gestalt idea that you can enter into a dialogue with | |
subconscious parts of yourself, I began to create a series of | |
practical steps, which evolved into what I call Inner Dialogue. | |
Inner Dialogue enables you to shift from your normal conscious | |
perspective into a state of mind that includes the awareness of your | |
subconscious. | |
[See the Inner Dialogue tear-out page transcribed at the bottom of | |
these notes.] | |
... you can think of Inner Dialogue as the appearance of subtitles | |
in your subconscious movie. Through Inner Dialogue, you are | |
slowing down the action of your movie so that you have a chance to | |
explore each part of it, read the subtitles, and sort out all the | |
information. | |
To read a map well, you have to know the territory. And in the same | |
way, you need to know the territory of the mind in order to translate | |
subconscious code into understandable language. | |
# Chapter 2 | |
Your subconscious is always influencing you. Even real events that | |
appear to be outside of your control can serve as communications from | |
your subconscious. I call such events waking dreams because, while | |
they are very real, they also convey subconscious messages. The main | |
clues that alert you to a waking dream are: | |
* intense reaction | |
* repetition | |
* unusual event | |
90/10 split: it is as if only 10% of your emotional response is to | |
the present incident; 90% is fueled by your subconscious remembering | |
similar events from the past. When you react very strongly to a | |
person or situation, your subconscious is using this waking dream to | |
get your attention... this is an ideal opportunity to take some time | |
to do internal dialogue. Internal dialogue will help you sort out | |
what part of your waking dream is about your relationship with | |
yourself, and what part is about your relationship with another | |
person or a present situation. | |
A+B=C is a simple equation that explains how your subconscious can | |
either help you or hold you back. A is any event that happens to | |
you. B is how you react inside, your beliefs and attitudes. C is | |
your outcome. | |
Nature designed all of your parts to be useful. There is a price | |
that you pay when you overuse one part and ignore or reject another. | |
Inevitably, [the rejected part] will find a way to get your | |
attention. Waking dreams are signposts that remind you to reclaim | |
valuable subconscious parts of yourself. By paying attention to | |
waking dreams, you strengthen your relationship with your | |
subconscious. As a result, you will enjoy increased self-acceptance | |
and more ease in accomplishing your goals in every aspect of life. | |
Your inner child is the part of you that likes to play. [It] is | |
probably the most revitalizing subconscious resource you have. Not | |
surprisingly, the energies and qualities of the inner child encompass | |
many of the same qualities as the right brain and subconscious. | |
Inner dialog is a potent tool, since your subconscious perceives your | |
dialogue as a real event that can influence your waking feelings and | |
behavior just as much as a real event of the past. | |
Rites of passage mark an important transition from one stage of life | |
to another. Such transitions often have a strong charge attached to | |
them: consciously or subconsciously, they evoke powerful emotions. | |
All change and personal growth begins on a subconscious level, | |
outside of your conscious awareness. In your subconscious new | |
feelings and attitudes take form over a period of time. The | |
improvement appears first in your dreams and subconscious; then | |
manifests more noticeably in your daily life. | |
# Chapter 3 | |
What you feel and do in a relationship may not always make sense, | |
even to you. Although you may find yourself in the grip of a waking | |
dream, you don't have to stay there. You can use inner dialogue to | |
learn about how your relationship with yourself influences your | |
relationship with others. When you speak _as_ the other person, you | |
will become aware of the subconscious thoughts and feelings that have | |
caused your waking dream. You will understand your interaction with | |
the real-life person much better... | |
In Eastern philosophy, life energy is made up of two complementary | |
parts: yin and yang, or feminine and masculine. Feminine energy is | |
associated with receptivity and inner-directed activities, such as | |
meditation and intuition. Masculine energy is associated with | |
outer-directed activities, such as competing, completing a task, and | |
asserting yourself with others. (You may notice from this | |
description that masculine energies usually correspond to left-brain | |
hemisphere abilities, and feminine energies to the abilities of the | |
right-brain.) | |
"In addition to reflecting my real relationship or marriage, my dream | |
conveyed an important message about my _inner marriage_ -- how I | |
balanced my feminine and masculine energies." | |
[Partners share responsibility 50/50 for what happens in a | |
relationship. Inner dialogue can lead to more understanding of your | |
part in the difficulty and, therefore, a more productive discussion | |
of any problem.] | |
Communication is necessary in order to help you and another person | |
resolve your differences. | |
If you are unsure how to negotiate with another person to get what | |
you need, the steps for inner dialogue can serve as guidelines. They | |
are remarkably similar to steps taken in conflict-resolution: | |
describe the situation from each person's point of view; express | |
feelings clearly; identify the conflict; negotiate a solution that | |
involves action from both people; appreciate each other's differences | |
as complementary qualities that make the relationship stronger. | |
The healing power of your subconscious is released by doing inner | |
dialogue. Inner dialogue takes you beyond your conscious thought | |
process; your emotions and physical experience while doing an inner | |
dialogue is what helps you to understand and resolve problems on a | |
subconscious level. Viewed in a right-brained way, even symbols that | |
at first seem negative are potential allies because they carry | |
valuable energy. Even a little of that symbol's strength, power, or | |
persistence will probably be very useful to you--when you consciously | |
direct that energy where you want it. | |
Through speaking as the symbol that represents the person(s) you | |
resent, you can actually de-intensify your emotional reaction to that | |
person. Inner dialogue is an excellent way to regain your balance | |
and perspective for the next time you communicate with the real | |
person. | |
# Chapter 4 | |
What you can imagine, can happen. By using your imagination and all | |
of your sense to experience success, you give your subconscious a | |
"real" experience on which to build. As a result, your dreams are | |
much more likely to become reality. | |
When you do anything well, it is because you have done the same or a | |
similar task before. Repeated practice has conditioned you to do it | |
more effectively. Like an athlete who has trained for peak | |
performance, you can condition your subconscious to respond to the | |
challenges of everyday living with more creativity and vigor. | |
Lucid fantasy is a method to gently guide your subconscious toward | |
achieving a goal. A little-known fact about the subconscious is that | |
it stores the memory of a fantasy in the same way it stores the | |
memory of a real event. This means that lucid fantasy provides an | |
empowering memory which can transform a faulty blueprint and increase | |
your confidence and self-esteem. | |
Lucid fantasy follows a simple formula: 1. Imagine a positive, | |
pleasurable outcome to your dream or waking dream. See, feel, and | |
hear yourself actively resolving any problem or conflict and bringing | |
about an enjoyable or positive outcome. 2. Utilize the symbols in | |
your dream or waking dream. Turn adversaries into allies, fear into | |
confidence, conflict into cooperation, crisis into opportunity. 3. | |
Have an adventure that is fantasy-like and pleasurable, in which you | |
enjoy a new level of cooperation with your allies, as well as | |
increased strength, confidence, and creativity. 4. Receive a gift | |
from each ally. Feel the power of the gift, and the energy of your | |
ally, inside of you. | |
I developed lucid fantasy many years ago when i began to use a simple | |
formula attributed to the Senoi Tribe of Malaysia: confront your | |
dream enemies, rather than run away in fear, and transform them into | |
friends and allies. [This formula reminds me of the Feeding Your | |
Demons meditation led by Joanna at the Wind Spirit Dance Retreat back | |
in March. | |
Feeding Your Demons Meditation | |
] | |
Lucid fantasy can serve as mental first-aid, to help you heal a | |
traumatic experience. Although your lucid fantasy cannot change a | |
real event that has happened to you, it does help you to change the | |
way you perceive the event and reduce your stress about it. | |
[The section titled Creating An Alternate Memory reminds me of time | |
travel therapy as described by Ahia.] | |
# Chapter 5 | |
Hypnotic states in everyday life happen so naturally that most people | |
don't think of them as trance or hypnosis. The characteristics of a | |
hypnotic state are common, everyday experiences. Your attention | |
becomes focused on one particular area, and the rest of the world | |
seems to go away. Your perception of time and space may become | |
shortened or lengthened. Your emotional and physical sensations | |
become intensified, or dulled, to an unusual degree. Your ability to | |
recall past events may suddenly improve; or you may forget recent | |
events or recall them only vaguely. | |
Inner dialog, lucid fantasy, and self-hypnosis can be combined in a | |
hypnotherapy format that creates deep and lasting change in your | |
subconscious. | |
Positive trance: an empowered, resourceful state: senses more alive, | |
everything looks brighter, sounds clearer, and feels more pleasurable. | |
Negative trance: a powerless, painful, limiting, or stuck state. We | |
look through a dark filter at ourselves and the world. This is a | |
feedback loop of negative emotion. | |
Your body responds instantaneously to your thoughts--whether they are | |
conscious or not... Your "blueprint" serves as a direct command to | |
your nervous system, producing either relaxation or tension. | |
You can use a "mini vacation meditation" to imagine yourself into a | |
positive trance in which you feel relaxed and energized. | |
Whether problems are real or not, the obstacles you perceive have | |
their own kind of reality in your subconscious. Like a detective, | |
you can use your thoughts and symbols as clues that can lead you to | |
discover beliefs and attitudes that are limiting you or hurting your | |
health. | |
Negative trances occur when we can't stop thinking about an | |
annoyance, injustice, or problem--when it seems to take over. The | |
powerful mental dimension of illness is often overlooked. The more | |
you worry and imagine the worst, the more your weakness or pain seems | |
to intensify, perpetuating illness. | |
Many people who have experienced physical or emotional pain for a | |
long time have difficulty remembering what it felt like to be | |
healthy. Their illness seems to have blocked out the possibility of | |
anything else. This is what makes it a negative trance. | |
With self-hypnosis, you can interrupt a negative trance and increase | |
comfort, relaxation, and health. By remembering a specific | |
experience where you were healthy and energized, you can turn that | |
memory into a powerful resource. | |
One of the strongest impulses of the subconscious is to protect. ... | |
"Her subconscious might have a faulty blueprint that was robbing her | |
of energy and health, but like most subconscious blueprints, it was | |
probably designed long ago to protect her in some way. Rather than | |
try to interfere with or directly challenge a protective pattern, it | |
was better to negotiate a more adaptive form of protection." | |
Inner child meditation is a self hypnosis technique providing the | |
opportunity to gradually increase contact, trust, and communication | |
with your inner child. It has three parts: 1. Visualize a | |
comfortable, safe, and natural place. 2. Experience a nurturing | |
visit with your inner child in the present, with your adult self | |
giving love and reassurance. 3. Anchor the good feeling of | |
connection with your inner child--that is, touch your hand to your | |
heart to create a body/mind association that will help you experience | |
this good feeling again. | |
Rescuing your inner child is a hypnotherapy technique where you | |
imagine going back in time to change the outcome of a childhood | |
situation, a kind of lucid fantasy. It has seven steps: 1. | |
Experience a comfortable, safe, and natural place (and anchor) 2. Ask | |
the subconscious to provide a symbol or clue to help achieve the | |
goal. Develop the symbol into a metaphor. 3. Ask the subconscious | |
to provide a memory of an early experience when the limiting pattern | |
first began. View that memory "over there" on a "TV screen," while | |
remaining comfortable "over here"--producing a therapeutic | |
dissociation to ensure a safe, comfortable, and resourceful | |
experience. 4. Review the blueprint for limitation and its effect up | |
to the present. 5. Rescue the inner child. The adult steps into the | |
past to intervene on behalf of the child. 6. Create a new blueprint | |
for the inner child, one that supports an empowering new belief and | |
behavior. 7. Create an alternate memory of growing up. Experience | |
the inner child growing up safe and happy into an empowered adult. | |
# Chapter 6 | |
Lucid dreaming involves a change in consciousness that is | |
unmistakable and often dramatic. You enjoy a sense of boundless | |
energy and power. Confidence and mastery are the norm. | |
In a lucid dream, you are aware that you are dreaming. At the same | |
time, you are fully participating in your dream... You experience a | |
heightened state of awareness in which you can make decisions and | |
choices that change and improve any part of your dream. | |
Many of the lucid cues seem almost playful, as though your | |
subconscious is saying, "How big a sign do i have to give you in | |
order to get your attention?" But when you read the signs that help | |
you to recognize a lucid cue and become aware that you are dreaming, | |
you often experience an immediate surge in vitality and enjoyment, as | |
though your subconscious is saying, "Now that we've connected, let's | |
have some fun!" | |
Cues: | |
* An intense body movement, often in air or water, followed by a | |
different state of consciousness or awareness. | |
* Sensations of light-headedness, coolness, or other bodily changes. | |
* Experiencing intense visual focusing. | |
* Seeing or experiencing something that fills you with wonder, awe, | |
or inspiration. | |
* Incongruity or improbability. | |
* Experiencing doubleness. | |
These lucid cues provide a specific vocabulary for lucid | |
consciousness. These cues can serve as indispensable guideposts to | |
help you cross the threshold to lucidity. | |
Lucid dreaming gives you the opportunity to bridge conscious and | |
subconscious states. In lucid dreams, you have double awareness as | |
both the observer and the doer, the conscious and subconscious parts | |
of you. | |
* You are aware that you are dreaming (you are the observer). | |
And at the same time, | |
* You are involved and participating in the action of the dream | |
(you are the doer). | |
Lucidity has no simple on-off switch. Rather, there is a continuum | |
of lucid awareness. On this continuum, you can experience semi-lucid | |
dreams in which you don't realize you are dreaming, but you notice | |
and enjoy something unusual or wonderful happening, or you notice | |
your own double, or that you've had this dream before. Recurring | |
dreams or patterns are a sure sign that your subconscious is | |
searching for a solution to some problem, or seeking to complete some | |
past experience. | |
It is possible to have lucid nightmares. Sometimes when you are | |
learning to master fear in dreams, your subconscious may choose just | |
this kind of experience--in order to drive home the lesson you need | |
to learn. | |
Musical expression, like dreams, comes primarily from the right brain | |
hemisphere and is strongly linked to our emotions. Music that has a | |
strong effect on you, either awake or dreaming, has much to say to | |
you as a symbol. | |
# Chapter 7 | |
The Senoi Tribe of Malaysia, and many other cultures who recognize | |
the importance of dreams, encourage dreamers to bring back a gift or | |
creative product that they can share with their community. Many | |
times this gift is a song, a story, a dance, or a visual design. | |
# Conclusion: Personal Myths for Lucid Living | |
Everyone possesses a personal myth or hero's story which gives | |
structure and meaning to life events, subconscious blueprints, and | |
personal symbols. | |
You are on a hero's journey to discover who you are. This journey | |
often leads you to discover powerful blueprints and symbols which | |
bring you an awareness that you are much more than you conceived | |
yourself to be. | |
In your subconscious there is tremendous energy, ready to be put to | |
use. You are gifted with a colorful array of talents and abilities, | |
just waiting for the chance to come out. | |
Big dreams encompass a vision and wisdom far beyond our usual dreams. | |
They often seem to arrive at important transitions in life. Like a | |
rite of passage such as coming of age, these dreams point the way to | |
the next stage of growth and development. When your conscious and | |
subconscious work together, you will enjoy not only lucid dreaming, | |
but also lucid living. A cooperative balance between conscious and | |
subconscious parts of you (adult and inner child, masculine and | |
feminine, powerful and gentle) will very naturally lead to the same | |
kind of balance and cooperation in your relationships with others. | |
Lucid living means that you can communicate effectively with others, | |
discovering common needs, and forging powerful new alliances. | |
As in lucid dreaming and lucid fantasy, living lucidly enables you to | |
see the other person, group, or country clearly and compassionately. | |
You recognize your interdependence with other people and groups, and | |
are able to overcome fear of differences and fear of unknowns--this | |
time in the world. Lucid living means that you take an active role, | |
in your waking life, to bring your unique purpose and vision into | |
being. | |
Life presents each of us with a lucid choice: a path that leads to | |
fear and division, from ourselves and each other, and a path that | |
leads to acceptance and strong alliances both within ourselves and | |
with others. | |
When you can resolve your inner conflicts, you can resolve conflicts | |
with others. When you can see yourself clearly and compassionately, | |
you can reach out to others with acceptance and love. When you truly | |
embrace you subconscious, you bring the best of who you are into the | |
world. | |
Begin tear-out page | |
# THE INNER DIALOGUE | |
A process developed by Jenny Davidow, M.A. (C) 1982 | |
Excerpted from Embracing Your Subconscious | |
## 1. Choose a dream, a waking dream, or individual symbol (one | |
## that inspires, puzzles, or haunts you). We'll call this your | |
## "dream." | |
* Write the dream in your journal, in the present tense. | |
* List the main symbols, as well as unusual symbols. | |
* List the contrasts you notice: i.e., dark-light, big-small, | |
confident-afraid, masculine-feminine, child-adult, etc. | |
## 2. Speak as the first symbol. (Begin with a symbol that is not | |
## you, the dreamer.) Say: "I am... (name of the symbol)" and | |
## describe yourself physically. | |
* "My job or function is..." | |
* "My unique qualities are..." | |
* "I am different from ____ (another person, animal, object of the | |
same category) in that..." | |
Remember that in dreams, real people whom you know in waking life | |
often symbolize aspects of your consciousness. If your symbol is a | |
person, speak as that person in your Inner Dialogue. In addition, | |
ask: How do I characterize myself as a person? What is my | |
personality like? For example, "I'm the kind of person that never | |
gives up," "I'm a terrific business person," "I'm very artistic," "I | |
thrive on adventure," etc. | |
## 4. As the first symbol, "What is happening from my point of view | |
## is..." | |
## 5. As the first symbol, "How I feel as this is happening is..." | |
## 6. Repeat steps 2 - 5 for another symbol in the dream. | |
(If you choose yourself as the second symbol, and if you are your | |
"usual self" in the dream, skip this step and go on to steps 7 & 8.) | |
## 7. & 8. Let each symbol say, in turn, to the other symbol: | |
* "How I feel about you is..." | |
* "My gripes toward you are..." | |
* "What I want to say to you is..." | |
## 9. Develop a spontaneous dialogue between the symbols. Some | |
## suggestions: | |
* Identify the Conflict: | |
- "What I don't like about you is..." | |
- "If it weren't for you I could..." | |
* Negotiate an Alliance: | |
- "It would be easier to trust you/accept you if..." | |
- "It would be easier for me to get closer to you if..." | |
- "It would be easier to let you come closer to me if..." | |
- "If you could be less ____ (overpowering, etc.), | |
I could be more ____ (friendly, etc.)" | |
* Define the Terms of Your Alliance "Let's make a deal: I will... | |
(do something specific for you) if you will... (do something | |
specific for me)." Now check in with the other symbol to see if | |
the "deal" is acceptable. Make certain the deal benefits both | |
symbols. | |
Keep negotiating until you get specific agreement. If it is | |
difficult to imagine a symbol's energy as valuable, try negotiating | |
to accept one molecule at a time; i.e., "By using one molecule of | |
your energy or strength, I will be able to..." | |
When you do not know how to begin to make a deal with a difficult | |
symbol, or if you reach an impasse in your negotiations, it is | |
helpful to go on to step 9-d before finishing with the "let's make a | |
deal step" | |
* Resolution and Integration: | |
- "What I like or value about you is..." | |
- "I need you in order to..." | |
- "If we could be allies and work together, we could..." | |
- "By joining forces and using your ____ (special quality or | |
strength) in my life, I can..." | |
## 10. At this point or earlier, think about the ways in which your | |
## negotiation and alliance with your symbol can help you to resolve | |
## an inner conflict and be more effective with others. | |
Notice in what ways your symbol(s) may picture, give voice to, or | |
give you a grasp of specific situations and feelings in your waking | |
life. | |
Think about the message or insight you have received on as many | |
levels as possible, such as relationships, career, creativity, | |
spirituality, health, and inner child. | |
End tear-out page | |
author: Davidow, Jenny | |
detail: http://www2.cruzio.com/~twave/ | |
ISBN: 978-1880732137 | |
tags: book,lucid dream,non-fiction,self-help | |
title: Embracing Your Subconscious | |
# Tags | |
book | |
lucid dream | |
non-fiction | |
self-help |