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# 2018-04-24 - How To Understand Autism by Alex Durig
# Introduction
In contemporary science, logic is conceptualized as formal logic,
which is the basis for computers and robots. But, people are not
computers and robots, so scientists believe logic can't be wired into
the brain. In academic terms, to claim that logic is wired into the
brain is tantamount to committing scientific heresy. In other words,
this book represents a departure from normal science!
However, this book is based on two fundamental commitments:
* the ability to think logically is wired into the brain
* every human being deserves trust, respect, safety, and comfort
To be able to understand the way each of us is wired up for logical
thinking is the key to understanding the mind and perception. This
will help us to begin understanding autism. To be able to give each
person trust, respect, safety, and comfort is the key to
understanding sophisticated relationships and good communication.
This will lead us toward becoming autism-friendly.
# Chapter 1
[A person with reduced social capacity will more than likely be
diagnosed as autistic. Also, the graphs with social versus
"computer" thinking assume no change, where in my experience people
are more dynamic than that.]
The fact is that current diagnosis of autism is something that is
performed on a qualitative basis. That means that the analyst has to
use her or his own better judgement. There is sometimes a bit of
confusion regarding the difference between high-functioning autism
and Asperger's syndrome, for example. A trip to see five different
analysts may very well yield five different professional
qualifications about any one client.
# Chapter 2
Social thinking answers the question "What is going on here?"
Computer thinking begins with the answer from social thinking, and
answers the question "What is the appropriate behavior?
Five functions of social thinking:
* defining the situation
* locating social identities
* seeing the world through the eyes of others
* supporting assumptions of normalcy
* gauging time and timing.
One function of computer thinking:
* compute appropriate behavior
... This is one of the single greatest markers of our social
thinking. Not only do we have the ability constantly to define our
social situation, but we also have a highly developed ability to
sense the emotions that are appropriate for our social situation.
Without this important function of social thinking, we could not
perform the rites of social pride and social humiliation that are
so important to the normal world. In many ways, the amount of
pride you can gather for yourself and the amount of humiliation you
can forestall are directly related to how well you can define
social situations.
... Let's suppose you work with your spouse. You have to be able
to locate the identity of your spouse at home and again at work.
In each social situation you have to be able to assign a different
role to the same identity. You can't act the same way with your
spouse at work as you do at home. Home is a private place and work
is a public place. And you have to be able to locate the social
identity of your spouse at home or in the workplace in order to
know how to behave appropriately in each social situation.
... We have to see the world through other people's eyes in order
to engage in the fullest extent of interactive experience. This is
so critically important, not just so we can empathize with others,
but actually for what it means to our own sense of self. In
psychology they call it perspective taking, and in sociology they
call it role taking. Indeed, this ability to see yourself through
another person's eyes is the mental activity required to achieve a
full-blown sense of self. This concept is from a special branch of
social psychology called symbolic interactionism. Here is how it
works.
Imagine you are two and a half years old. It is time to eat. Your
mother serves the food. Tonight you are having rice. But, as soon
as you see the rice, you decide to have some fun. You pick up some
rice and throw it across the room. But your mother does not think
this is very funny. In fact, she gets angry and scolds you. It
seems that throwing rice is an action that causes grief for your
mother, and, consequently, for you too.
Now let's move to the future a few days. Tonight your mother is
serving rice again. And sure enough, as soon as it is served it
occurs to you that it would be fun to throw some rice across the
room. But then you remember the previous time you threw the rice.
You remember this made your mother angry. You relive the moment in
which you threw the rice, and how you mother let you know that you
were being bad. You reason that if you do not throw the rice your
mother will see you as good. And you are now able to conclude this
line of reasoning in the following way. "Tonight I am not throwing
rice and my mom sees me as being good. This is how mom sees me, and
this is how I see myself."
In that moment a sense of self is born. It is precisely this ability
to see yourself the way others see you that is so important to
attaining a sense of self. It is precisely this ability to become a
social object to yourself, the same way you appear as a social object
to others, that helps you to objectify a sense of your own self.
... The assumptions of normalcy represent a strange code that is
omnipresent in normal social life. The field of sociolinguistics
tells us that these assumptions of normalcy are the very glue of
social life. The assumptions of normalcy must be invoked and used
continually in order for social interaction to take place. It is
the assumptions of normalcy that allow us to assume social
interaction will be meaningful and successful. We absolutely must
be able to invoke these assumptions in order to be able to
participate in normal social life. At the same time, the stronger
one's autistic perception, the less one will be invoking these
assumptions because they are a function of social thinking.
Four essential assumptions of normalcy:
* When I communicate with other people, they will understand me.
* When other people communicate with me, I will understand them.
* If I don't understand other people now, I'll figure out what they
meant later.
* If I don't figure it out later, then it doesn't really matter
anyway.
The fact is that you would need help navigating the social world
unless you were able to invoke these assumptions of normalcy. You
would be like a stranger in a strange land if you had to question
everything that took place in every conversation. Without the
assumptions of normalcy how would one even begin to implicate oneself
in ongoing social life?
So often when someone gives us directions we are not very sure how we
will be able to follow them. But we always act as if we do, and we
proceed on the faith that we will get there somehow, even if we have
to ask for more directions along the way! We do this by invoking the
assumptions of normalcy.
These are explicitly social assumptions using social thinking. They
must be invoked as an axiomatic, or baseline, assumption, and all
social interaction proceeds on the basis of these assumptions. They
allow us to generalize about the nature of our meaningful experience.
Because we can invoke assumptions of normalcy we are able smoothly
to perpetuate our meaningful experience from one moment to the next
without full conscious knowledge of every detail in our perception.
This would be too much for us to compute as we move through
day-to-day events.
Social life would come to a grinding halt if people had to confirm
full understanding of every single thing that was said to them. The
assumptions of normalcy allow us to take our meaningful experience
for granted, instead of questioning everything that happens as we
move seamlessly from one moment to the next.
Conversely, in strong autistic perception we have an experience that
is much more literal. This perception relies on "If-Then" sequences
of action. So, if this person is in a new situation it will not be
possible to assume normalcy and to take for granted that all is well.
This person will not be able to know with assuredness that a mutual
understanding can be achieved.
Marriages fail and relationships fall asunder when the assumptions of
normalcy no longer function in their natural capacities. When the
assumptions of normalcy are not at work in social interaction it
becomes increasingly difficult to maintain focus and commitment to
any one version of reality.
In fact, a recipe for driving someone else crazy is simply to suspend
the assumptions of normalcy in interaction. There was a sociological
experiment in which college students were instructed to return home
for Thanksgiving break and question every aspect of their parents'
speech. For example, if parents ask "How do you like school?" the
students were instructed to respond with something like "What do you
mean by like, do you mean appreciate or enjoy?" To which the parent
might respond "Well, how do you enjoy your classes?" To which the
student might respond "Well, do you really want to know about every
single class, or just the teachers I like?" How long can this go on
before parents question their children's sanity? Not long at all.
Students reported how difficult it was to suspend these assumed
understandings that underlie every conversation.
Try it sometime. Try going against the grain and doing something
that is not expected of you. Try doing something that is never done
in social life. It is rather difficult to do. All of this
demonstrates the tenuous and complex achievement of social thinking
every day all day long. It further clarifies what is not happening
as much in strong autistic perception. There are numerous
assumptions of meaning and understanding that must be mutually upheld
by all parties concerned in every interaction all day long. The
stronger the autistic perception the less the individual will be able
to skate on the thin ice of these assumptions of normalcy.
If you had to carry a grammar book and a dictionary with you
everywhere you went in order to make precisely sure that what you are
saying is correct and intelligible, then normal conversation would
come to a screeching halt. Normal conversation proceeds much more on
the basis of assumptions of normalcy than anything else. And if
conversation ever becomes meaningless it might be because the
assumptions of normalcy have been halted or violated.
For example, attorneys are expert manipulators of the assumptions of
normalcy. In a trial, when an attorney questions the meaning of
every phrase, term, and nuance that is being used, sooner or later
all sense of normalcy vanishes. At this point reasonable doubt
becomes the order of the day. All you have to do, if you want to
shut down a conversation, is begin to question every single statement
that is being made. Are you sure about that? Why? Really? I'm not
so sure about that. What do you mean by this word? Exactly how
would you define that word? Search for too much clarity and the
conversation ends in the dark.
In a friendly conversation we constantly communicate agreement and
the assumption that we understand the other person, that we know what
the other person means. If you are constantly unsure about the other
person's meaning, then the other person becomes uneasy. By now it
should be apparent that social thinking is always greasing the wheels
of social interaction.
It's not so much that we know exactly what is going on in the
situation and in other people's minds, it's just that we care enough
to keep assuming that we will get clarity later if we continue
assuming normalcy at that moment. Social life is an orchestration of
mutually assumed realities.
... Autistic people exhibit rigid, obsessive behavior patterns.
But normal people are just as rigid and obsessive about being
normal!
# Chapter 3
For example, since the third function of social thinking, seeing
yourself through the eyes of others, is the seat of the self, so to
speak, autistic perception will tend to be more selfless and
transcendent. This is an abstract concept for most people, but it
simply means that self is a very social thing to have, even though
common sense tells us that it is a very private thing. Having a
sense of self is a very social thing. Self is something we present
to others. Self is interactive. But, when we lessen the social
thinking, we lessen the interactive and reflective mental activities,
and we also become freer from a normal sense of self.
... Imagine not caring what is going on, what other people are
doing, or what they are thinking about you. Imagine not caring if
any effective communication ever takes place. Imagine having more
important things to do! With the filters of social thinking
dramatically dropped, the autistic person is emotionally committed
to their repetitive, persevering behavior. This is what they care
about the most. ... The worst thing that happens to an autistic
person is having a normal person get in their face--especially
someone who is trying to prevent them from continuing their
repetitive behavior.
# Chapter 4
Three keys to communicating with an autistic people:
* stay calm. make sure you and others are relaxed and supportive.
* reflect their behavior.
* reflect their perception.
... The only reason there has been any success at all teaching
behavior modification to autistic children is because these
programs are based on If-Then rules for action.
# Chapter 5
In the normal world it is extremely important that we all know who we
[the normal ones] are. [IOW, it is important to identify and single
out the abnormal people.]
... The normal world is a social and interactive world that is
completely based on repetitive behaviors!
author: Durig, Alexander, 1959-
LOC: RC553.A88D873
tags: book,health,non-fiction
title: How To Understand Autism - The Easy Way
# Tags
book
health
non-fiction
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