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# 2017-10-29 - Becoming Playful by Bernard De Koven |
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Heart |
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It might be too hard, asking too much. Telling your self to be |
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playful might be like telling your self to be happy. Granted, it'd be |
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great if you were happy. Or even just more playful. But if you don't |
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think you're either, telling your self to be happy or playful isn't |
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going to make it happen. In fact, it's likely to make you depressed, |
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frustrated, [and] angry at your self for being someone you just don't |
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want to be. |
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That's what worries me about this whole idea of telling your self to |
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be playful when you think you're not. I mean, who's telling whom? Is |
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the self that's telling you to change such an expert in playfulness |
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that it can change you? I don't think so. I think that particular |
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self is anything but playful. That's the very self that gets so |
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serious, so humorless, [and] so disparaging. And the self it's |
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talking to is probably the one that feels bad about itself, feels |
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that there's something wrong with it, something that needs to be, |
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heaven forfend, changed. |
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It's a good idea to be more playful. Just like it's a good idea to be |
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happier. But to get there, you need to stop telling your self to be |
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different. |
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Try this, instead. Try letting your self tell you. Ask it to let you |
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know when it's feeling happy or playful. In fact, I'd suggest an even |
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simpler question. Ask it to tell you when it's having fun. |
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Fun, like I say somewhere later on, is easy. Playful, happy, maybe |
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not so much. But fun? You can have fun watching television. OK, maybe |
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not like deep fun. But fun, nevertheless. You can have fun reading, |
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browsing, searching for something on the computer. You can have fun |
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eating. Chewing gum. Knitting. Taking a walk. Tasting. Feeling. |
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Smelling. Listening. Touching. You can have fun watching someone else |
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have fun. |
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After a while, after you've spent enough time listening to your self |
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talk about all the fun you're having, you can start asking your self |
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to tell you when you're feeling playful or even happy. It's easier |
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for your self now because you've been talking so much about the fun |
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you're having, and usually when you're having fun, that's what you're |
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feeling - happy, playful even. Maybe not deeply happy or profoundly |
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playful, but, you know, you're having fun, and, well, that's what |
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makes you happy, makes you want to play, makes you even want to get |
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other people and beings and things to play with you. |
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And then, see, you've become the playful person you always were, but |
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never thought you were enough, never noticed, never allowed your self |
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to believe in. And so your life starts feeling even more fun, and you |
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start feeling even happier, being even more playful. Just like that. |
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From: A Playful Path by Bernard De Koven |
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tags: book,non-fiction,self-help |
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# Tags |
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book |
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non-fiction |
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self-help |
