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	# 2017-02-22 - Peaceful Conflict Resolution by Daniel Hertz

	Forest monk

	The practice of Yoga and Meditation allows us to learn and develop
	very useful relaxation and breathing skills. These skills facilitate
	the movement toward more inner awareness. When these same skills are
	applied to the external world, they can become valuable tools in
	helping others find peaceful solutions to conflicts. Mediation is a
	gentle approach for disputing parties to come together and discuss
	and resolve their differences. The most difficult and challenging
	problems can be resolved if each disputing party can slow their
	breathing, relax their shoulders, and let go of any tension in the
	forehead. As the Dalai Lama has said, "Peace does not mean an absence
	of conflicts; differences will always be there. Peace means solving
	these differences through peaceful means."

	Many people are naturally very good at finding a way to resolve
	conflicts peacefully. But this skill of conflict resolution is also
	something that can be taught. Recently I was asked to train a group
	of students, 18-21 years old, in peer mediation. It is in a school
	for new immigrants in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Students from many
	different countries come together to form a school community.
	Usually the incidence of behavior problems is very low. Most of the
	students are there to make the most of the learning opportunity. But
	occasionally the wrong mix of students gets caught up in a divisive
	way of thinking. This can result in conflicts between the different
	language groups that causes hostility and even violence. The
	students need to be shown a method to resolve their conflicts
	peacefully. I have witnessed many times that peer mediation skills
	can be taught to people of all ages and backgrounds.

	A conflict between two people can either escalate or de-escalate.
	This depends on the reaction of each person involved in the dispute.
	If someone directs their anger toward you and you respond with anger,
	the situation will escalate. If you react to anger with a calm,
	caring, and compassionate tone, the situation will de-escalate. This
	is always easier said than done, but it is possible. Often our first
	instinct is to respond with anger when someone gets angry at you.
	But we can learn from practicing Meditation that the reaction we have
	is a choice. This choice does not have to be a reflection of what is
	coming at you. It can be a reflection of what is inside of you. We
	can also learn from Meditation that it is possible to detach, even
	just a little bit, from the hold that a strong emotion has on you.

	Through experience I have learned that it is not possible to resolve
	a problem when both parties are at the peak of their anger. It may
	be necessary to wait for a few hours or until the next day to begin a
	mediation. Relaxation and breathing exercises can help speed up the
	process of coming down from the anger mountain. If the two disputants
	cannot resolve the problem on their own, it may take a 3rd party to
	mediate the situation. Someone who can remain calm, relaxed, and
	neutral in the midst of angry people can learn to become a great
	mediator. The practice of Yoga and Meditation gives us these skills.

	Daniel Hertz (E-RYT 500) is an award winning teacher and counselor in
	the Minneapolis Public Schools and is on the faculty of The
	Meditation Center. He is the author of two Yoga-Meditation related
	books that benefit SRIVERM, the school in the remote Himalayas
	founded by Swami Hari. For more information, please see:

	http://DanielHertzBooks.wordpress.com/

	This is an article i saved from Ahymsin on February 28, 2016.

	http://ahymsin.org/

	tags: article,conflict resolution,peace,spirit

	# Tags

	article
	conflict resolution
	peace
	spirit