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Positive Change Meetup on Friendship And Values
by Positivity Matters
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Positive Change Meetup 7:30am SLT 09/21/2017. Today s
topic is friendship and wellbeing (voice and text). All
are welcome!
Location:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Inspiratio
n%20Island/110/216/29[1]
"Good friends help you to find important things when you
have lost them your smile, your hope, and your courage."
~Doe Zantamata
The Positive Change Meetup is a discussion group about
wellbeing scholarship, personal experience and enhancing
positive psychological wellbeing and is not intended to
treat mental illness.
Welcome: What went well lately and why?
Describe a time you had with a friend where you felt the
two of you made a difference for others or when the
friendship made you become more of the person you wanted
to be?
Where do values come from? Wired into our physiology?
Consciously learned or chosen? By using some sort of
intuition that lets us grasp some aspect of the
transcendent? Something else?
Friendship as a value that has the potential to integrate
all other values.
"The maximum of mutual love is friendship." ~Immanuel Kant
What are the basic goods of life aside from meeting basic
needs for personal survival?
Friendship (play, compassion)
Living one s values.
Origins:
Sociability -> Friendship
Play: games, bodily movement, humor, curiosity, creativity
Compassion: Alleviation of all avoidable suffering
I have been thinking about friendship. Does this seem
like a plausible account of what could happen as
friendships deepen?
You enjoy each other's company.
You can confide in each other.
You come to regard your friends wellbeing as essential to
you own.
You have each other's back.
You become better together.
Your help each other live your dreams.
You do things together that make the world a better place.
Michael Slote, A Sentimentalist Theory of the Mind,
Oxford University Press, 2014, 247pp.
Reviewed by Lauren Ashwell, Bates College
https://ndpr.nd.edu/news/49975-a-sentimentalist-theory-of-
the-mind/
Loved children feels gratitude toward the adults who love
them, and, Slote suggests, thereby starts to feel a
diffuse kind of love and gratitude toward the world in
general, which then motivates their moral behavior.
Children learn to be empathetic when people who love
them, and to whom they are grateful, teach them to see
how their actions make others feel.
How Friends Become Closer
It s hard to organize a busy life so that it has enough
room for deep friendships, but there are a few strategies
that may help.
JULIE BECK AUG 29, 2017
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/08/how-
friends-become-closer/538092/
"Part of the genius of friendship is that people respect
and encourage each other to make their life the best it
can be. How do you do that in a way that respects the
contingencies of each other s lives while also trying to
build in, if not a regular practice, the expectation that
we re going to see each other? It can be a challenging
needle to thread."
Why Having a Best Friend Is Good for Your Health
By Crystal Ponti
https://www.thecut.com/2017/09/why-having-a-best-friend-
is-good-for-your-health.html
Maybe you use friend to refer to a broad swath of people
you enjoy hanging out with; maybe you reserve it for the
few people you d feel comfortable spilling your guts to.
According to one of the newest studies of the bunch, that
last type of friendship may be one of the most valuable
when it comes to your well-being: In a paper published
last month in the journal Child Development, a team of
researchers found that having a childhood best friend can
play a significant role in a person s mental health well
into adulthood.
The study drew from a data set that tracked the mental
health of 169 racially, ethnically, and socioeconomically
diverse adolescent participants at three points: age 15,
age 16, and age 25. For the first two rounds, subjects
also identified the person they considered to be their
best friend, and the study authors interviewed both
members of the duo (the label of best friend didn t have
to be mutual, the authors noted, and participants didn t
necessarily have to name the same person both years). By
age 25, the researchers found, subjects who had had
higher-quality close friendships as a teen defined here
as high degree of attachment, intimate exchange, and
support tended to have lower social anxiety, an increased
sense of self-worth, and fewer symptoms of depression.
We weren t surprised that better adolescent close
friendships turned out to be important, but we were
surprised by just how important they turned out to be
into adulthood, says lead study author Rachel Narr, a
doctoral student in psychology at the University of
Virginia.
Importantly, it was quality, not quantity, that seemed to
matter. In fact, teens who prioritized broader social
networks over a few close friends actually had higher
rates of social anxiety in young adulthood.
*****************************
Positive Change Meetups: conversation about human
flourishing in text and voice on Sundays at 8:30am SLT
and Thursdays at 7:30am SLT.
Location:
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Inspiratio
n%20Island/110/216/29[2]
Positive
Change:http://world.secondlife.com/group/532b8516-3d4f-
c2d8-142c-73ab35b87975[3]
The primary purpose of Positive Change Meetup is to
increase psychological wellbeing. Positive Change Meetups
are open to everyone. The mission of Positive Change is
to translate wellbeing research into positive community
experiences. Positivity Matters, the RL umbrella of
Positive Change, hosts community-wide conversations,
small-group conversations, and a radio show on wellbeing.
Whole Brain Health calendar:
https://virtualinspirationisland.org/calwbh/[4]
The How of Positive Change:
1. Use your strengths (free VIA inventory of strengths at
www.viacharacter.org[5]) as a guide to writing out a set
of core values for yourself. Your core values are a
foundation from which you can generate an infinite number
of goals. Distinctions to consider: self-care values,
bigger-than-self values, values that will help you soar
when skies are blue, and values that will help you endure
when skies are grey.
2. Rank your values* in importance to you to help you
prioritize your goals.
3. Try evidence-base wellbeing practices (goals) that are
aligned with your values.
4. Share about the experience of turning your values into
virtues* at Positive Change Meetups.
5. Repeat steps 1-4.
*Example of core values ranked (Faust s):
1. Treat yourself and others like you would a good friend.
2. Translate wellbeing research into positive community
experiences.
3. Use your strengths to help others use their strengths
to help others.
4. Apply your strengths where they will do the most good.
5. Don't let the good life get in the way of a better
life.
6. Never stop becoming more excellent.
What are values and why do they matter?
"Values are not about what you want to get or achieve;
they are about how you want to behave or act on an
ongoing basis. Values give us direction and help us
figure out what we want our lives to look like."
https://healthypsych.com/value-driven-life/[6]
Why small-group conversation about wellbeing can help us
flourish:
The Neurochemistry of Positive Conversations
https://hbr.org/2014/06/the-neurochemistry-of-positive-
conversations[7]
"Positive comments and conversations spur the production
of oxytocin, a feel-good hormone that elevates our
ability to communicate, collaborate and trust others by
activating networks in our prefrontal cortex."
Talk Deeply, Be Happy?
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/17/talk-deeply-be-
happy/[8]
By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to
impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world, Dr.
Mehl said. And interpersonally, as you nd this meaning,
you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that
interpersonal connection and integration is a core
fundamental foundation of happiness.
References
1. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Inspiration%20Island/110/216/29 (link)
2. http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Inspiration%20Island/110/216/29 (link)
3. http://world.secondlife.com/group/532b8516-3d4f-c2d8-142c-73ab35b87975 (lin…
4. https://virtualinspirationisland.org/calwbh/ (link)
5. http://www.viacharacter.org (link)
6. https://healthypsych.com/value-driven-life/ (link)
7. https://hbr.org/2014/06/the-neurochemistry-of-positive-conversations (link)
8. https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/17/talk-deeply-be-happy/ (link)
Date Published: 2017-09-21 16:04:18
Identifier: friendshipandvalues
Item Size: 70857011
Media Type: audio
# Topics
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