From
[email protected] Mon Feb 19 21:26:55 2007
Date: Mon, 19 Feb 2007 21:11:14 EST
From:
[email protected]
To:
[email protected]
Subject: preliminary findings & tentative conclusions
[ Part 1, Text/PLAIN 54 lines. ]
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THE DATA:
I have communicated with several men over the past three or four�years as
a result of posting these sexually explicit�episodes, or "stories"�on the
gay Nifty archive collection, "Authoritarian".� Most my responses came
not from gay men (as I had anticipated), but from bisexual guys who had a
strong�desire to submit to men, and yet a strong and proportionally
greater�attraction to women at the same time. Most of these men were
either married or between heterosexual partners, a few of them had
girlfriends.
�
In general the bisexuals showed a greater sense of self-confidence than
the gay respondents, many of whom�seemed plagued by guilt or
shame.��Bisexuals were more likely to act on their desires in terms of
follow-ups with dominent types, which they had encountered in a variety
of often novel settings (not in gay bars or establishments but in sports
bars or other meeting places primarily for heterosexual guys).
�
I have recieved only one response from a non-masochistic, dominant top
interested in my submissive desires--we wrote back and forth explicit
long messages almost daily for a month before it exhaused itself.� He
identified himself not as bisexual but as heterosexual (he felt getting
serviced by a "fag" doesn't mean you're gay or bi in any way--he was an
x-Marine around my age, who had served�in Nam.) When I tried to arrange a
meeting, because I was to be in his�city on a conference, he wouldn't
come to my hotel and see me--he appearently couldn't deal with the actual
reality of what he had been emailing me about for weeks.
�
CONCLUSIONS:
Desire to submit to a masculine Other is very strong in many bisexuals of
various shades of grey. This masculine or even hyper-masculine
identification is strong in some gays, but a feminine identification is
perhaps more widespread among gays, making�many shy away from the
dominence imperative�of submission to a Man,�in favor of�a more
androgenous expression of sexual desire that mixes masculine and feminine
qualities.
�
As a predominately gay submissive, I can identify with the bisexual's
needs more easily.�Masculine identification and even masculine eclipse of
my manhood is sought out and actively pursued. This is at least partly
due to the failure to identify fully with manhood in my childhood.�
Dominence/submission�seems to be�predominatley in the masculine realm
(even if it's between lesbians or M/F couples).
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