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Mutant League Football
Sega Genesis
Quote list
By Jungon
[email protected]
2009/04/24
Version 1.01
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Contents:
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Section . . . . . . . Ctrl+F code
I- Intro. . . . . . . . . [10001]
II- Story . . . . . . . . [10002]
III- Explanation. . . . . [10003]
IV- Coach Quotes. . . . . [10004]
Bricka. . . . . . . . . [10005]
Bones . . . . . . . . . [10006]
General . . . . . . . . [10007]
Trickster . . . . . . . [10008]
Tran Shooter. . . . . . [10009]
Strato Blaster. . . . . [10010]
V- Skeleton Quotes. . . . [10011]
VI- Troll Quotes. . . . . [10012]
VII- Super Human Quotes . [10013]
VIII- Alien Quotes. . . . [10014]
IX- Robot Quotes. . . . . [10015]
X- Referee Quotes . . . . [10016]
XI- Referee Names . . . . [10017]
XII- Fake Penalties . . . [10018]
XIII- Coaches Cheering. . [10019]
XIV- Copyright. . . . . . [10020]
XV- Credits . . . . . . . [10021]
Version Updates:
1.01 (2014/04/23): Added some more quotes for all coaches, when the players
manage to miss the xtrapoint.
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I- Intro: [10001]
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This game is deadly. It's weird. It's unknown. It's full of quotes that made
me, one puzzle-type games player, laugh like a child sometimes. Sharing this to
the world is just natural. Actually, gathering all of these quotes by your own
will prove a strategized puzzle, so maybe that's what I liked the most. Well,
I'm into this kind of humor... sometimes.
I'm Brazilian, if you find grammar mistakes, you can email me the corrections,
and I'll even put your name on the credits. Missing quotes too, if you have
them, email them to me, exactly as they're written in the game (even with words
like "sombody"), the exact situation, and the face who say it, of course.
Well, onto the list!
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II- Story: [10002]
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Not important. But the simpliest way to put it: it's a Football League of
mutant monsters who kill each other to win a fumble, kill the ref when they
think he's cheating, coaches make players suffer on the practices, and the
audible tactics are most times deadly.
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III- Explanation: [10003]
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<team>: name of the other team.
<player>: name of the player who scored.
<ref>: referee name.
Coaches with the same face say the same quotes. Even talking about McWhimple
and Bones. Same for players, like Bones Jackson and Jockstrap from Sixty
Whiners.
Each Coach is supposed to say 4 quotes for each type of opponent team. Worse,
equal, better, and much better. Only Tran Shooter is missing, and two of them.
If you manage to hack the game somehow to see what Tran Shooter says for 3-
skull-better teams, email me please!
Situations where more than one quote is possible are random, there is no order
for them. You can get the same one for touchdowns especially if you score with
the same player. Actually, aliens will always talk about Beta Scorpio when
scoring the extrapoint.
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IV- Coach Quotes: [10004]
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Coaches talk more than players, really, so I'll start from here.
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Bricka: [10005]
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Ace Bricka (Galaxy Aces)
Tossa Bricka (Toxic All-Pros)
Bricka (Midway Monsters)
Buck Troll (Slaycity Slayers)
Buddy Riot (Screaming Evils)
- on better teams 3+ skulls above:
"There's a rumor that the remains of you who don't survive this game with the
<team> will be sold for cat food. Not true. There are some things even a cat
won't eat."
- on better teams 2 skulls above:
"Since some of you will be dead meat by the time the <team> are through with
you, we have provided your loved ones with free coupons for McAdaver's
Crematorium and Family Bar-B-Q."
- on equal teams, 1 skull above, same, or 1 skull below:
"I want you all to remember that our opponents are our equals, a mirror image.
I know most of you guys break mirrors when you look in them, but it won't be
that easy with the <team>."
- on worse teams 2+ skulls below:
"My philosophy is if you can't say something nice about someone, kill them.
The <team> are no-talent slime. So you know what to do."
- on halftime, winning:
"Good hits, but keep up the pressure. Too many players on the other team still
show a pulse after you hit them."
"It isn't time to smile yet, the game isn't over. I don't want to see those
fangs again until the final gun."
"I've been tough on you guys before, but the way you're executing out there
today, that's all water and drowning victims under the bridge."
- on halftime, tying:
"A tie isn't good enough! A tie is like kissing your sister through a screen
door! Get more points, or my sister will kiss you WITH a screen door."
- on halftime, losing:
"I want to see a much greater effort out there. I don't just want harder hits,
I want major felonies."
"You guys are trying too hard... trying too hard to lose!"
- on end of game, winning single game:
"Winning isn't everything, but losing is nothing."
- on end of game, winning playoffs game:
"Cheaters never prosper. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
- on end of game, being champion:
"This makes all the pain, humiliation and grief seem worthwhile, especially
since it's all YOUR pain, humiliation and grief."
- on end of game, losing single game:
"That was a great exhibition of complete incompetence. The whole lot of you
could be replaced by freeze dried roadkill."
- on end of game, losing playoffs:
"We'd have won if only you'd have played your hearts out. Since you didn't, I'm
going to carve them out instead."
- asking to kill the ref:
"I don't know if the ref is taking bribes against us, but I think I overheard
him taking bets against us! Use Nasty Audible C."
- touchdown:
"If you keep up the great team work, you can all skip the team meeting after
the game and tamper with brakes in the parking lot instead."
"Keep up the good work. I'll make sure you get lots of playing time."
"That a way to go. Give it yer best."
"That's six points more than we had before."
"That's the way to go. Now concentrate on the extra point."
"Two points here, two points there, it all adds up. Now make it multiply!"
"You guys deserve a raise. You won't get it, but you sure deserve it."
"You're starting to make our team respectable! Now maybe we'll be able to live
down that unfortunate Billy Goat Gruff incident."
- safety:
"Do you meatheads remember a sport I told you about called Football? Believe it
or not, that's what today's game is. Watch those other guys and do what they do
AND DO IT RIGHT!"
"What did I do to deserve a team of pond scum like you?"
"You play like someone gave you a stupidity transplant!"
- missing out the xtrapoint:
"Bargh! That was terrible! Who taught you to kick? Besides me, I mean."
"How many times do I have to tell you, aim the kick down the center of the
field!"
"One of my hatchlings can kick better than that!"
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Bones: [10006]
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Crazy Bones (Maniac All-Stars)
Bones (Darkstar Dragons)
McWhimple (Sixty Whiners)
- on better teams 3+ skulls above:
"You have something to look forward to after the <team> cream you. The floral
arrangments for your funerals arrived early, and some of them are quite
lovely."
- on better teams 2 skulls above:
"I think we all know that the <team> came to play today. Unfortunately, they
came to maim, disfigure, and slaughter, too. You'll be lucky to live through
it."
- on equal teams, 1 skull above, same, or 1 skull below:
"The <team> are a pretty average team, so if they beat us, I don't want to hear
any excuses. Just submit them in writing instead."
- on worse teams 2+ skulls below:
"I always tell my players that winning isn't everything. But when you're
playing against the <team>, nothing else is possible."
- on halftime, winning:
"If we ran up the score, we'd be really poor sports. So pour it on."
"I just want you to know that you guys are beautiful, in a moosebutt ugly kind
of way."
"We're way up ahead so we can relax and smash the roses."
"We're winning, so feel good about yourself. You're bad enough, you're
brainless enough, and doggone it, you could scare a buzzard off a dead walrus."
- on halftime, tying:
"On this team, excuses are like psychoses--everybody's got one. If you don't
break this tie, I'm the one who'll be psycho."
- on halftime, losing:
"My big old wife has a lot of moolah bet on this game. If you don't shape up,
she'll be down here to recover her losses from your salaries and recover her
furniture with your hides!"
- on end of game, winning single game:
"We won, we actually won! I guess I won't have to use this suicide note after
all, but I promise to recycle the paper, so it won't go to waste."
- on end of game, winning playoffs game:
"Worship me. Actually, pay me my playoff bonus first, then worship me."
- on end of game, being champion:
"You've made me so happy! I could keep my job, my friends might stop rejecting
me, and maybe my big old wife will stop pressing my head in a waffle iron."
- on end of game, losing single game:
"We lost. Life seems so bleak and hopeless now. I think I'll go make raisin
toast in the hot tub."
- on end of game, losing playoffs:
"You let the <team> beat you! We're out of the playoffs, I'll probably get
fired, and the missus bet the rent money on this game. Maybe I can get a job
next season as a bench."
- asking to kill the ref:
"The ref is cheating better than we are! Use Nasty Audible C."
- touchdown:
"Beautiful conversion! Let me shake your hand or claw or pseudopod or whatever
that thing is."
"Beautiful play. Score another one and you can skip your next turn at being a
tackling dummy."
"Great touchdown! Live chickens and fresh transmission fluid for everyone!"
"More plays like that and you'll wear a championship ring in your nose when the
season is over!"
"You actually scored a TD, <player>! As a reward, you can start burying
sportswriters in the end zone again."
- safety:
"I bailed you guys out of the slammer with my own money, and this is how you
pay me back? That's what I get for being generous."
"I don't think you losers quite remember why we're here today. We came to play
FOOTBALL, not roll over and die slowly!"
"Why am I being punished? What terrible thing did I do to deserve to coach a
moth eaten gang of halfwits like you? Why don't you just set me on fire; I'd
suffer less that way."
- missing out the xtrapoint:
"Don't ignore your position on the field the same way you ignore me! Angle your
kick!"
"I always knew you couldn't think and kick at the same time. But now it looks
like you can't do them separately, either."
"you'll be sorry when I begin to weep bitterly the next time you don't kick the
ball through the uprights!"
"You make me nuts! My head feels like a ripe acorn squash on a blacktop road in
Death Valley during a heat wave being run over by a cement truck. AHHH!!"
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General: [10007]
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The General (War Slammers)
Midean (Misfit Demons)
Madness (Psycho Slashers)
Iced Bodies (Icebay Bashers)
- on better teams 3+ skulls above:
"The <team> may beat us really bad, but they can't break our spirit. After they
break our necks, they probably won't care much about our spirit."
- on better teams 2 skulls above:
"On any given day, the <team> can beat any team in the league. Except today,
when they'll probably just beat us and leave the other teams alone. To win, we
have to cheat our sneakiest."
- on equal teams, 1 skull above, same, or 1 skull below:
"The <team> match up with us so evenly that they're almost our twins: Immoral,
cruel, savage, and ugly as homemade sin."
- on worse teams 2+ skulls below:
"The <team> are slower than the south end of a northbound garden slug and just
as soft. I can't wait to hear the sound they'll make when you squish them."
- on halftime, winning:
"Gee, you guys aren't half as awful as I thought you'd be."
"The way you're playing today is a beautiful thing. It's almost worth losing
the money I bet against you."
"The way you're stomping the <team> is lowering my blood pressure very nicely,
thank you. Good going, leathernecks! Bash 'em, sack 'em!"
- on halftime, tying:
"The only thing that goes good with ties are suits, which you'll all be wearing
to job interviews if you don't start playing better!"
- on halftime, losing:
"If you guys would pump up with as much enthusiasm as you foul up, we wouldn't
be losing!"
- on end of game, winning single game:
"Our victory has given me a warm feeling of peace and serenity. It won't last,
though."
- on end of game, winning playoffs game:
"Our long march is almost over, fellas. The championship is almost in your
grasp. If you lose the next game, your throats will be in MY grasp."
- on end of game, being champion:
"It all goes to show that hard work, careful planning, insane screaming and
hysterical ranting all pay off in the end."
- on end of game, losing single game:
"Just like I expected. Our defense is offensive and our offense is defensive.
I'd cut every one of you right now but I don't have anything sharp enough."
- on end of game, losing playoffs:
"Play that lousy should end your entertainment career, but it won't. We've sold
you to a rock concert promoter -- to be on the receiving end of flying rocks."
- asking to kill the ref:
"That ref is making such bad calls I don't think he has much of a future in
this league. As long as that's his fate, might as well use Nasty Audible C."
- touchdown:
"Beautiful play. Score another one and you can skip your next turn at being a
tackling dummy."
"Good going. I'll let you sit on the part of the bench with the fewest
splinters."
"Great job, but don't let it go to your head, no matter how much empty space
there is up there."
"It's great to see you give it your best, especially after I've seen so much of
your worst."
"Outstanding second effort. It almost make up for some of your lousy first
ones."
"Nice effort; keep on scoring like that and I may stop screaming and treat you
like a useful individual worthy of respect. But don't count on it."
"That play shows you have the seeds of greatness. Too bad they'll never sprout
since you live in dark places."
- safety:
"I could have found better players than you on a puppy farm! Shape up, or I'll
give my next team your bones to teethe on!"
"It's like you're playing dead out there! Get with the program or you won't
just be playing."
"You blockheads were nothing when I started with you! Get on the ball or you'll
be less than nothing when I'm finished with you!"
- missing out the xtrapoint:
"In this league, you live and die by your kicking game. I can't live with
yours, but you might die because of it if you don't improve."
"You're not going to intimidate the ball into going between the goalposts just
because you run up to it and scowl. You have to kick it hard and at the right
angle!"
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Trickster: [10008]
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The Trickster (Deathskin Razors)
Dante N. Ferno (Terminator Trolz)
Mad Maxx (Road Warriors)
- on better teams 3+ skulls above:
"The bad news is that the <team> are going to smear you like jelly on a
sandwich. The good news is they'll mix you with creamy peanut butter and not
chunky."
- on better teams 2 skulls above:
"We're going to face the <team>, one of the toughest teams in the league. Some
of you will live, some will die. Either way, I'll see you later."
- on equal teams, 1 skull above, same, or 1 skull below:
"The infernal thing about this game is that the <team> are no better than us
but no worse, either. And they're no less willing to cheat. That's the thing to
remember."
- on worse teams 2+ skulls below:
"The <team> may look inept, weak, stupid, and clumsy. Don't be fooled though
-- they're even worse than they look. They don't stand a chance against you
devil dogs."
- on halftime, winning:
"Keep up the pressure, turn up the heat! Don't get overconfident just because
you're ahead."
"We've got a good lead. We'll keep it as long as you think of the <team> as a
food group."
"You're all playing great. The <team> are getting walked over more than the
welcome mat in front of the asbestos underwear shop back home."
- on halftime, tying:
"You think a tie is good enough? Score some points or you'll find something
tied around your necks!"
- on halftime, losing:
"You guys must want to have harder, hotter practices since you're playing so
bad."
"The way you losers are playing, you're heading for a fall. Unless you want to
fall as far as I did, you'll shape up fast."
- on end of game, winning single game:
"Good win. As a reward, the trainers have canceled all pitchfork acupunture
therapy."
- on end of game, winning playoffs game:
"You guys play like a well-oiled infernal device. Keep it up and the
championship is ours for the taking."
- on end of game, being champion:
"Winning championships is such a guilty pleasure! But it will be good to get
back to a warmer climate in the off season."
- on end of game, losing:
"What in blazes is wrong with you? You losers are in for some practice seasons
that will make eternal torment look like a nap on a featherbed by comparison!"
- on end of game, losing playoffs:
"No showers after that performance, gentlemen. We're sending you to the baths
instead-- the ones with burning petroleum on the surface."
- asking to kill the ref:
"The ref's calls are blowing our gameplan apart. Time to blow him apart! Use
Nasty Audible C."
- touchdown:
"Good job. There'd have been the devil to pay if you hadn't made that."
"Great play, that's for Satan. I mean, that's for certain."
"I might let you have a contract extension on your soul if you keep on playing
like that."
"It's better to rule in the end zone than serve on the bench."
"It would have been a sin if you hadn't made that."
"Keep on scoring and you may find a few extra souls in your pay envelope this
week."
"<player>, you're one Devil of a player. Who would know better than me?"
- safety:
"The hottest places in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks are reserved for those who
can't convert a third and short yardage situation!"
"You think I'm breathing fire now, keep playing this lousy and I'll REALLY
belch some brimstone!"
"You were on your way to my special backyard bar-b-q when I drafted you for my
team. My mistake! Keep playing this bad, and you'll be off the gridiron and on
the grill!"
- missing out the xtrapoint:
"That miss put us on the horns of a dilemma. Miss again, and you'll be on the
horns of your coach!"
"There better be ice on my driveway and glaciers in my backyard before you
miss that badly again!"
"You'd better hope you-know-where freezes over before you miss that badly
again!"
"You're allowed to miss only two field goals a season according to my contract
for your soul. Miss again, and I'll exercise the option clause."
"You shouldn't be kicking field goals for a living, you should be playing
tiddlywinks! Then again, maybe not, 'cause next time you miss that bad, I'm
gonna chop off your tiddly!"
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Tran Shooter: [10009]
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Tran Shooter (Turbo Techies)
- on better teams 3+ skulls above:
There is no team to test this but I've seen bugs in this game and I believe I
need to let this space here in case of existing a secret quote here.
- on better teams 2 skulls above:
"Scouting intelligence indicates we will have to crunch numbers to ensure
victory in game with the <team>. If we don't crunch numbers, they'll crunch
us."
- on equal teams, 1 skull above, same, or 1 skull below:
"High resolution satellite surveillance of <team> practice indicates parity
exists between them and us. Increased rule-negative behavior is suggested."
- on worse teams 2+ skulls below:
Nothing, he doesn't speak.
- on halftime, winning:
"All units operating at maximum efficiency. High fiving program has been
triggered."
"At the prompt, type "We are kicking their narrow behinds" and press ENTER."
"Circuit boards rule. Flesh sucks."
"There is an increased possibility that now I can get a computer date! The only
date I've had recently was with a toaster oven. She made a great breakfast but
her conversation lacked variety."
"Units of 10 are the preferred scoring margin."
"We are superior to flesh life forms!"
- on halftime, tying:
"Metaphorical observation: We've got our software caught in a vise. If we do
not win we will be replaced by an upgrade."
- on halftime, losing:
"Advisory: This is not an unfortunate virtual reality experience. This is an
actual non-victory situation. Quickly achieve a more acceptable scoring ration
or face termination."
"A review of comparative scores shows that opponent's total exceeds ours.
Unless this trend is reversed, there's some serious disassembly in your
futures."
- on end of game, winning single game:
"Superior performance forecast has been substantiated. Victorious units are to
receive positive reinforcement with a trip through a brushless carwash."
- on end of game, winning playoffs game:
"Another stage of football program testing is now complete. No new bugs
detected. Coding proved superior to that used by the <team>."
- on end of game, being champion:
"Since we have conquered, team ownership has two rewards for us. Our processors
are being upgraded to 32 bits. That will also be the amount of our playoff
bonus."
- on end of game, losing single game:
"Danger! Danger! Virus is suspected in neurosimulation programming. Partial
erasure of data seems probable. Nothing else would explain glaring stupidity of
player units."
- on end of game, losing playoffs:
"I have some good data and some bad data. We're all being disassembled with
chainsaws. That's the good data. The bad data is that the sensory condensers
will be left on while we're being ripped apart."
- asking to kill the ref:
"A bug has been detected in programming of Referee unit. Please deactivate this
unit by implementing Nasty Audible C."
- touchdown:
Same of players...
- safety:
"Caution: A negative point flow. Termination of non-victorious units is a
possibility."
"Please remotivate yourselves. Unless you implement a victorious winning
pattern, you'll end up as hood ornaments at a demo derby!"
"Quality of play suggests the presence of faulty chips in team's neural
processors. If play does not improve, chips will be removed with a backhoe."
- missing out the xtrapoint:
"Diagnostic on missed field goal is complete. Conclusion: You are a
chowderhead."
"Relocate to a position closer to the X/Y axis before applying tarsal impact to
the prolated spheroid. A straight kick will then result."
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Strato Blaster: [10010]
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Strato Blaster (Rad Rockers)
Krux (Vile Vulgars)
The Warden (Killer Konvicts)
- on better teams 3+ skulls above:
"Some of you may be looking past this game with the <team>. That's the worst
thing you could do, especially since most of you will be dead by the time its
over."
- on better teams 2 skulls above:
"The <team> didn't show up today for scones and tea on the verandah. Whatever
that means. They came here to play smashmouth and tooth collect football. We'll
have to do our best to win."
- on equal teams, 1 skull above, same, or 1 skull below:
"This is a heartbreaking game for me, men. The <team> match us so close I can't
get good odds on them. So try and cheer your old coach up and fracture a few
skulls today."
- on worse teams 2+ skulls below:
"The <team> couldn't beat a two-legged dog in a three-legged race. They're
doormats, so make sure you wipe your feet on them before you leave the field."
- on halftime, winning:
"Outstanding execution, you guys! Because of our lead, the <team> are stewing
in their own juices. And do they ever smell yummy!"
"You guys are playing so good you must be more coachable than I thought. Don't
bother to thank me."
- on halftime, tying:
"Ties are the worst! Get some points, fast, or I'll tie knots in your necks!"
- on halftime, losing:
"You're all playing like you have only one brain cell between you. Would
whoever is sitting on it please share it with the rest of the team?"
- on end of game, winning single game:
"I'm encouraged that you won the game and weren't complete idiots out there.
All you partial idiots had better play better next time, though."
- on end of game, winning playoffs game:
"I'm almost happy with that win. I'm almost satisfied. I'm even almost fond of
you. And if you lose the next round, you'll almost survive."
- on end of game, being champion:
"So you guys are the champs. I never thought you'd make it. You've proved me
wrong. Do that again."
- on end of game, losing single game:
"A game like this puts your jobs in jeopardy. But if the worst happens, I've
found the positions for you: Hanging by your heels in a meet locker."
- on end of game, losing playoffs:
"That game would have been a tragedy if it wasn't such a farce! Where did you
learn those plays, at the National Theater for the Comatose?"
- asking to kill the ref:
"The ref is giggling when he calls penalties against us. I don't think he's
very serious about this game. Let's make him dead serious; use Nasty Audible
C."
- touchdown:
"Keep up the good work and I won't terminate you when the season's over."
"Points is good. It makes my hair stand straight like goalposts."
"So you've finally decided to play good. Congratulations on trying something
new."
"That play was a thing of beauty. But I want nastiness, not beauty. See that it
doesn't happen again. Keep on scoring, though."
- safety:
"Either you morons can start executing plays or I can start executing you!"
"If you guys don't start playing better, it'll be sudden death for some of you
and slow death for the rest."
"You can't beat the <team> just by throwing your helmets on the field. Now
shape up or I'll start throwing your helmets on the field with your heads still
in them!"
- missing out the xtrapoint:
"Close counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, not in field goals. Next time
you miss, I'll get some hand grenades and prove it to you!"
"Remember, the ball moves around, not the goalposts! Keep that in mind when
you kick."
"The angle the ball came off your foot violated the laws of physics! Start
kicking better, or I'll break a few laws myself!"
"You want to kick the ball between the goalposts, not just in the same zip
code!"
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V- Skeleton Quotes: [10011]
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- touchdown:
"A few more play like that and we'll bury the <team>."
"I'm decayed, I'm deceased.... I'm an undead scoring beast!"
"In lieu of flowers, contributions should be made to me."
"Next to rising from the grave, I like scoring touchdowns best!"
"Skeletons are Number One! Flesh just slows you down."
"That's using the old skull!"
"Things like that turn the <team> coach into a casket case."
"When I roll these bones, I always come up six."
- fieldgoal:
"Easy as falling into an open grave!"
"If a live guy kicked a ball that hard, he'd get ligament damage. But who needs
ligaments?"
"I'm bad to the bone, but I'm even worse to the <team>!"
- killing:
"I'm going to undertaker school in the off season, so this'll be good for extra
credit."
"Inside that guy's suffocating flesh, there was a skeleton like me screaming to
get out. I was only too happy to set him free."
"In the kingdom of death, I'm the heir apparent."
"Life is sweet but I'm watching my weight, so I'm on a steady diet of death."
"Welcome to my world, deadboy!"
"Yuck. Flesh is so squishy. If he rises from the grave later on, I'll
apologize."
- most valuable player:
"We beat the <team> like a kettle drum. Those skull sessions we had to plan
strategy really paid off."
- champion:
"The <myteam> won because of our team spirit...and our team ghost, team ghoul,
team poltergeist, and team vampire."
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VI- Troll Quotes: [10012]
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- touchdown:
"A guy smeared with honey and covered with ants doesn't have sweeter moves than
me!"
"If that doesn't make the highlights films, it could make a horror film!"
"I'm not handsome enough to be a movie star, but I'm flashy enough to be a
special effect!"
"Listen to that crowd! They worship the ground I bleed on."
"On that play, a mutant star is born!"
"We haven't beat the <team> yet, but we'll haunt that bridge when we come to
it."
- fieldgoal:
"All I do is imagine that the ball is the <team> coach's pointy head. It adds
20 yards to every kick."
"Slicker than blood on a freshly-oiled guillotine!"
"Splitting the uprights is even more fun than splitting skulls."
"Too bad the <team> didn't make a better effort to block that kick. The ball
seems to carry farther with sombody's teeth in it."
- killing:
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, dead bodies to the kitchen!"
"Games like this make me hungry. Too bad that turkey was nothing but a snack."
"I couldn't come up with a counterplay just off the top of my head, so I just
took off the top of HIS head."
"I didn't like the way he was bleeding so I made him stop."
"I don't have any of him stuck between my teeth, do I? I want to look good on
my interview after the game."
"Ooo, he was a crunchy one!"
"They won't carry this guy off the field on a stretcher, they'll carry him off
in a sponge."
- most valuable player:
"Good game, but don't have a letdown now. We're only half way there. The
toughest games are yet to come."
- champion:
"Days like this make you feel good to be an inhuman monstruosity."
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VII- Super Human Quotes: [10013]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- touchdown:
"I could have made that play with one hand tied behind my back, a ball and
chain around my ankle, and my hair uncombed."
"I love plays like that even more than I love mirrors."
"I'm sleek, I'm clean, I'm a scoring machine."
"I'm so slick, I should endorse floor wax."
"I only get my uniform dirty when the defenders I run over bleed on me."
"Maybe I should mention my physical perfection in my next personals ad. I might
score again."
"That was so easy. Us Humans are the real monsters in this league."
- fieldgoal:
"Next to kicking in teeth, I like kicking in field goals best!"
"That's why they call it football; since us Humans are the only ones with real
feet, we're born to win."
"That was pretty enough to hang in an art gallery. And so am I."
- killing:
"A death rattle lets you know you've made a really good hit."
"He didn't suffer long. I'll try to do better next time."
"His mama called him Sonny Boy, but now she'll call him Smudge."
"I hate the juicy ones; they make me skid when I stomp on them."
"Just like smashing a souffle with a sledgehammer!"
"Somebody clean up this mess -- it's slippery out there now!"
- most valuable player:
"In accepting this playoff win, I would like to thank myself, I want to express
my gratitude to moi, and, of course, none of this would have been possible or
nearly as well done without me."
- champion:
"This championship is just another sympton of my morbid compulsion to be
absolutely flawless."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VIII- Alien Quotes: [10014]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- touchdown:
"Ha! My planet's scheme for galactic domination proceeds as planned! Our vast
space armada waits poised to blow the Earth into bits as soon as we cover the
point spread!"
"Kneel before <player> and tremble. Become slaves to my inhuman whims. And
renegotiate my contract, or I'm off this planet!"
"The lesser life forms are slower than the snailmen of Beta Scorpio and scream
even louder."
"When the papers report that score, I'll be the main headline!"
- fieldgoal:
"Our ability to score whenever we please shall soon sap this world of its will
to resist."
"This arcane mystical ceremony so cherished by these inferior life forms is
most exhilarating. Too bad this small balloon-like sacrificial creature is dead
before we get to kick it, though."
- killing:
"I ground him into the field so far that the medics won't have to deal with his
remains, the unfortunate grounds keepers will."
"I usually have to play on a heavy gravity planet to smash somebody that flat."
"That must have hurt. But not for long enough."
"That was easy! It wouldn't have made me breathe hard even in a thin
atmosphere."
"These life forms without exoskeletons are sooo easy to crush."
- most valuable player:
Nothing, unless it's the champion ???
- champion:
"Being the champs of the Mutant League is better than obliterating a relatively
small, dim galaxy!"
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IX- Robot Quotes: [10015]
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- touchdown:
"Circuits, circuits, fuses, wire! Hey, carbon units, eat our fire!"
"Our computer projections based upon our opponent's past performance ensures
our victory!"
"Our hardware has once again beaten the opponent life forms' software."
"There is a high probability that we will kick lower lumbar regions!"
"There is a high probability that we will kick posterior surfaces!"
"We are mechanical, we are tyrannical, their defense is so slow, I think they
wear manacles!"
"We are programmed to conquer!"
- fieldgoal:
"Analysis of field goal program completed. Final estimation: Sweetness."
"The algorithms programmed into our kicking chips ensure perfect execution."
- killing:
"Damage Control reports minor forearm damage from impact on base of opponent's
cranium. Forearm can be repaired; cranium cannot."
"If my vocal microchip allowed me to giggle, I would."
"I have once again demonstrated the advantages of mechanical structure over
flesh, bones, and gooey junk."
"Opponent terminated with minimum effort and maximum enjoyment!"
- most valuable player and champion:
No quotes, or same of coach.
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X- Referee Quotes: [10016]
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- bribe on practice:
"If this were a real game, I'd be bribed! But this is only practice, so thanks
for the bonus."
- bribe on real game:
"Money talks, and this money says that I should cut you guys a few breaks."
"Thanks! I'm grateful and so's my banker. Maybe he'll send you a calendar."
"This will really help out at home. Now my children can stop eating the
neighbors' pets."
"You can depend on me, or my name isn't <ref>."
- new ref on practice:
"Why'd you kill the ref? This is only practice."
- new ref on real game:
"I'm the new ref. I like to call a good clean game. But I never get the chance
to, so I cheat just like you guys."
- forfeit:
"Forfeit: <team1> has beaten the <team2>, since <team2> has too few players
left alive."
- end of league:
"Now is the time to stuff you into the Hole of Flame!"
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XI- Referee Names: [10017]
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Deaf Blinders
I.C. Nothing
Mr. Big
Slicky Fats
Gee Blush
Crowd Hater
Flesh Pots
Fin Siecle
If you kill Fin Siecle, a new Deaf Blinders will come.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
XII- Fake Penalties: [10018]
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Bad breath
Concealed weapons
Crying
Drooling
Excessive gas
Eye gouging
Face mask
Flicking boogers
Holding
Jaywalking
Littering
Obscene gestures
Smooching
Spitting
Unnecessary kindness
Vomiting
Whining
Defensive pass interference is not a fake penalty, it usually occurs when the
attack team do that 3-pass tactic (QB-RB-QB-WR), and is not complete, but just
sometimes.
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XIII- Coaches Cheering: [10019]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- practice / usual:
"Crush em dead"
"Hit em hard"
"Let's get busy"
"Let's get em"
"Put em away"
"Shut em down"
"Smack em around"
"Smash em"
"Take it to em"
"Toast em"
- in attack 1st down:
"Hit the holes"
"I love kicks"
"Let's move the ball"
"Now let's march!"
"Read your blockers"
"The ball is ours"
- in defense 1st down:
"Don't give an inch"
"Get tough"
"Let's get the ball"
"None shall pass"
"The QB is toast"
"Time for some 'D'"
- turnover, attack:
"Good steal"
"Grand theft"
"Let's keep it now"
"We own the ball!"
- turnover, defense:
"Do ya hate offense?"
"Let's get it back"
"Not a good idea"
"Not good! Not good!"
"Who you playin for"
- in attack, doing well:
"Eat em up"
"1st down! Way to go"
"Great execution"
"Great work"
"Nice play"
"They can't stop us"
"What a call!"
- in attack, 4th down:
"It's your call"
"Now what?"
"Smack it"
"Wanna kick?"
"We needed a first!"
"You're killing me"
- in defense, 4th down:
"Good work"
"Kickers are lunch"
"The kicker is toast"
"Watch for a fake"
- not doing well:
"AArrrgh!"
"Dooooh"
"Ga Ga"
"Get it together"
"Let's get tough"
"More defense!"
"They got lucky"
"This will not do!"
"Tighten up"
"What are ya doing?"
"@#%&./?!"
- extrapoint:
"I want points"
"Let's make it seven"
"Listen to that crowd"
"Rackin em up"
"Six is sweet!"
"Suckers walk"
"Way to go, man!"
- cheating:
"Cheating don't pay"
"Thank you"
"They make it easy"
"We'll take it"
- penalties:
"Don't get sloppy"
"Enough already"
"No more penalties!"
"Whatta ya doing?"
- delaying:
"Better hurry"
"Choose one now"
"Choose something"
"Don't take all day"
"How about today?"
"Hurry up!"
"Just do it"
"Let's GO!"
"Pick a play!!"
"Pick one now"
"Pick play not nose"
"Quickly!"
"Times a wastin"
"Wake up! CHOOSE"
"Watch the clock"
- on reserves bench, all-star:
"An all time great"
"He's great"
"He's an all-star"
"All-star reserve"
- on reserves bench, league team:
"One of our best"
"He's okay"
"He ain't so good"
"Can't lick a stamp"
"Can't tie his shoes"
"Chronic drooler"
"Collects string"
"Dumb as a post"
"He's pathetic"
"His teddy is tougher"
"Just did his nails"
"Just wet himself"
"Just sat in gum"
"Likes to dance"
"Needs a new head"
"Nightmare is Eve"
"Plays in a toupee"
"Plays with dolls"
"Slips on his snot"
- low energy:
"Imminent death!!"
"We got a weak one"
"We need to sub"
- without bribing money:
"Can't afford it"
"No dough"
"No payola"
"Out of money"
"You have no money"
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XIV- Copyright: [10020]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This document should not be used in any way to earn money. It's for personal
use only. If you wish to use this document on your site, ask me first, and tell
me where it's going to be.
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XV- Credits: [10021]
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Well, the game designers, gameFAQs for hosting it, and my parents =P
Copyright 2009 by Jungon
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