Le Brand New Crash Nitro Kart Cortex Side SCRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPT!!!
By Samus Le Hamus
[email protected]
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Table o Contents
I. Intro
II. Version Info
III. Legal Stuff
IV. The Cortex Side Scriiiiipt!
i. Introduction
ii. The Galaxy Circuit
iii. Krunk Challenge
iv. Krunk Defeated
v. Nash Intro
vi. Beat Nash
vii. Meet Norm
viii. Norm Fails
ix. Geary Race
x. Geary the Loser
xi. Velo Championship
xii. Velo Rematch
xiii. Velo's Victory
xiv. Velo Loses
xv. Velo Vanquished
V. Credits
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I. Intro
Hello yall! And welcome to the Crash Nitro Kart Script Cortex Side Edition, my
second contribution to Gamefaqs! This has the script to the Cortex side of the
Adventure Mode in Crash Nitro Kart, so this WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!! If you
don't want the story or important elements spoiled for you, then DO NOT READ!!
I'M WARNING YOU!! READ AT YOUR OWN RIIIIISK!!!! Enjoy. (NOTE: If you find
anything wrong with my script or if anything's missing, contact me at
[email protected] so I can fix it. Thank You.)
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II. Version Info
VERSION 1.0
My first version
VERSION 1.1
Fixed an error during the meeting between Krunk and the Cortexes: I accidently
addressed them as the Bandicoots at one time.
VERSION 1.2
Fixed a little spelling error.
VERSION 1.3
Accidently called Tiny Crash during the scene where Geary is washing him.
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III. Legal Stuff
If you must know, this script is property of me and GameFaqs! Anyone or
anything that uses this guide without permission WILL be hunted down and
will either be sued or have their hides tanned like the dirty animals they
are! But if you want to use this script that badly, then contact me at
[email protected] where your plea will be... reviewed. Crash Nitro
Kart copyright of Vivendi Universal. My script copyright of Samus Le Hamus and
GameFaqs. This script is under the protection of the American Copyright Laws,
so nobody can use this without my permission until 75 years after it has been
released, then they can modify it anyway they want to after that.
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IV. The Cortex Side Scriiiiipt!
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i. Introduction
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[We get a peek at Crash's house. The camera zooms in a bit before fading to
inside the house. The camera zooms past a snoring Crash through a bead rope
door that leads into the garage, where we see Coco working on her kart through
her laptop, Crunch exercizing with a 150 lb. dumbbell, and Aku Aku hovering
over him.]
CRUNCH: That diet's a joke.
AKU AKU: Well, I've heard you can lose a lot of weight on it.
CRUNCH: But ya can keep it off. Just eat less and exercize more.
[All of a sudden, a bright light shines through the garage window, causing
Crunch to drop his dumbbell, and causing all of them to lend their attention
towards it.]
AKU AKU: Something's wrong. That's not sunlight!
[The same bright light shines through Crash's window, waking Crash up. Crash
can't rest in this condition, so he puts on a pair of sunglasses and quickly
goes back to sleep. The scene cuts to the outside of the house, which is lifted
right out of the ground and into the air...]
[Now we get a peek at Cortex's Castle. As the camera zooms to the castle's
tallest tower, the scene fades to inside the tower, and we see Cortex pacing
across the floor of his lab and Tiny playing checkers with himself.]
CORTEX: Oh, how can I defeat those pesky BANDICOOTS! Hmmm... AND conquer the
world, of course!
TINY: BANDICOOTS!!
[pounds the ground, scattering his checkers]
TINY: I can squash bandicoots!
CORTEX: Yes yes, I know you can Tiny. But you fail so many many MANY times!
[short silence] Tiny! Go see if Doctor N.Gin requires assistance!
[Tiny gets up, salutes, and runs off. The scene cuts to N.Gin's office, where
he has some kinda giant ray aimed at his kart. His assistant Dingodile is near
a switch which is unfortunately near the door Tiny's about to pass through.]
N.GIN: Dingodile! Throw the switch!
[Just as Dingodile is reaching for the switch, Tiny bursts through the door,
flattening Dingodile. All of a sudden, the same bright light we saw before
shines through N.Gin's window.]
N.GIN: (to Tiny) What did you break now?!
[Tiny shrugs. The scene cuts back to Cortex's Lab, where Cortex notices the
same light, and appears shocked about it. The scene cuts to outside the castle.
The whole castle shakes, but only the tower breaks off as it is lifted into the
air.]
[Cuts to a close-up of Crash's face, still inside his house. He takes off his
sunglasses, wanting to know what's going on: there's cheering outside. He opens
the door, which breaks apart in the process. He throws away the knob and steps
into what looks like a large coliseum with a Winner's Circle and many goblins
sitting in the coliseum seats, who cheer loudly when he steps out. Crash is
amazed at this, and then looks up in the sky. The huge zoom-out shows that the
Coliseum is actually a crown on a gigantic goblin head-shaped asteroid. The
camera zooms back in on Crash, who seems confused about all of this, but then
sees Crunch and Coco by the house and waves at them. He also sees Cortex's
Tower nearby, where he also sees Cortex, N.Gin and Tiny. Tiny cracks his
knuckles menacingly at Crash. Not one to disappoint the fans, he waves hi at
him with his fingers. The two groups walk towards each other.]
CORTEX: What have you done, you miserable marsupi...
[Just before Cortex can finish his sentence, the large holographic head of Velo
appears over Velo's Throne]
VELO: I am Emperor Velo the 27th, Ruler of this Galaxy! My subjects hunger for
entertainment.
[We get various shots of cheering goblins in the coliseum seats.]
AUDIENCE: Velo! Velo! Velo!
VELO: And word of your racing prowess has reached my glorius empire!
[The camera pans down from Velo's head to get a glimpse of Nitrous Oxide, Zam,
Zem, Dingodile, N.Trance, Polar and Pura sitting in Velo's throne.]
VELO: And I hope you put on a good show, especially since winning the circuit
will win your freedom. And... if, for some reason, you refuse to race, your
EARTH will be... destroyed.
[The gang looks worried.]
VELO: But... I don't think it will come to that. DO YOU ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE?
[End Scene]
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ii. The Galaxy Circuit
----------------------
[If you choose Adventure Mode at the main menu, choose to start a new game,
and then choose Team Neo, you'll start out with this scene with Cortex, N.Gin
and Tiny walk towards Velo's Throne, where Velo's head resides, but on the way
there, Tiny trips over a rock and starts stumbling.]
N.GIN: Uh oh!
TINY: WHOH!!
[Tiny falls on Cortex]
VELO: Do you accept my challenge?
CORTEX: (under Tiny) I would hardly call these games a challenge! We win
easily!
VELO: [laughs crazily] It is decided! You will race across 4 worlds of my
choosing. And if you should win each world's key,
[key appears below him]
VELO: you will earn a chance to race the Galactic Champion for your freedom!
[Velo laughs evilly as Cortex's, N.Gin's and Tiny's karts fall from the sky.]
VELO: And to give you a fighting chance, I even modified your earthling
vehicles.
[N.Gin giggles]
VELO: Now, on to the first world, TERRA!!
[Cortex's tower is lifted off the ground as the Cortexes hop into their karts.
They rev up their vehicles and set off towards the pink portal, where they're
teleported to Terra.]
[End Scene]
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iii. Krunk Challenge
--------------------
[The Cortex Team travels to Terra and wins the trophies for Inferno Island,
Jungle Boogie and Tiny Temple. We get a scene where Velo is seen over the
throne.]
VELO: You've collected 3 trophies, a promising start. Now you must face Terra's
champion: KRUNK!
[The audience cheers and start chanting Krunk's name, and at that moment, a
bright light appears in front of the Cortexes, which is hard on their eyes.
Coming out of the beam of light is a blue obese tribal gorilla looking thing
floating on a platform, assumedly Krunk. The audience cheers and continue to
chant, as Krunk gives off a yell and beats his chest. Then he and the Cortex
Team share menacing glares.]
VELO: Krunk's speed is only matched by his cunning on the track.
[Krunk raises his arms several times to get the full audience's applause. Then
he looks at the Cortexes.]
KRUNK: They will race me? They look slow. Send them back!
VELO: But Krunk! They come from a planet just like yours. It's called... Earth.
KRUNK: EARRTH!! I have heard of this planet! It is a copy of my Terra!
[Floats over to the Cortexes.]
KRUNK: I WILL race them, and show them... WHO HAS BETTER PLANET!!
[The Cortex Team gives angry looks at Krunk, as Velo giggles evilly.]
[End Scene]
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iv. Krunk Defeated
------------------
[The Cortexes go to the Terra Championship in Terra to race and beat Krunk,
and they do. We get a scene where the Cortex Team laugh evilly to themselves.]
CORTEX: All too easy!
TINY: Tiny's planet number one!
[Tiny holds up 3 fingers, but then he counts them and holds up one. Krunk
walks towards the Cortex Team.]
KRUNK: Key... makes you champion of Terra. Also, opens... all world gates on my
planet. Just do not make trouble.
CORTEX: Trouble?! I won't make trouble! At least not until I've conquered MY
planet first!
[Krunk looks mad at Cortex. All of a sudden, Velo's holographic head appears
over the throne.]
VELO: KRUNK!!
[Krunk is startled over Velo's appearance.]
VELO: Leave my sight!!
[Krunk is teleported away into the depths of space. The Cortex Team looks
pleased/worried.]
VELO: You did well, but you're nowhere close to winning the Circuit yet. On to
the second world: Barin!!
[End Scene]
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v. Nash Intro
-------------
[The Cortexes enter Barin and win the trophies for Meteor Gorge, Barin Ruins
and Deep Sea Driving. After that, we get a scene that starts with Velo's
holographic head appearing over the throne.]
VELO: You now have 6 trophies! With these, you have earned the right to race
Nash, Barin's Champion!
[The audience cheers and claps enthusiastically upon hearing this.]
VELO: Nash was engineered to always move. He never stops, or even sleeps.
[The beam of light that teleported Krunk appears once again. This time, the
thing riding on the platform is a small beady-eyed shark-like thing wearing
gold/red diving headgear, goggles with water inside them, spiked red shoulder
blades and red-orange swimming trunks. This is obviously Nash. Nash starts
growling, snarling and spinning rapidly on the platform upon his arrival.]
NASH: Put em' up! Put em' up!
[The Cortex Team looks confused as Nash continues to spin and growl like a
maniac. He soon stops and turns toward Velo.]
NASH: Is that... enough?
[Velo gives off an annoyed sigh as Nash floats over to him.]
NASH: I NEED to get MOVING!!
VELO: Soon, Nash. Soon.
NASH: Not soon... NOOOOOW!!!!
[Velo snarls as Nash angrily as the crowd gasps, boos and hisses as Nash. Nash
floats a distance away and looks embarrased. He gives off a silent chuckle,
then Velo smiles.]
VELO: Excellent!
[End Scene]
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vi. Beat Nash
-------------
[After the Cortexes enter the Barin Championship in Barin, they race and
beat Nash. The Cortex Team waves at the cheering audience.]
N.GIN: Cybernetic sharks! We should try that! Yes yes! They would make great
henchmen!
CORTEX: But this one lost.
[Tiny is seen picking his belly button and pulls out a hairball. He sniffs it
and eats it.]
N.GIN: It appears to me he'd fit right in!
[Nash runs over to the two.]
NASH: GIMME MY KEY BACK!!
CORTEX: [laughs] And they make such silly demands, too!
NASH: WHYYYYY YOOUUU!
[Just as Nash is putting up his dukes, Velo interrupts.]
VELO: NASH!! GET OUT OF HERE!! I'll deal with you later!!
[Scared, Nash runs away.]
VELO: Well, you're halfway there. Here's where things start to get tricky! On
to Fenomena!
[End Scene]
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vii. Meet Norm
--------------
[The Cortexes travel to Fenomena and win the trophies for Out of Time,
Clockwork Wumpa and Thunder Struck. Velo's head appears over the throne.]
VELO: With your 9 trophies, you have earned the right to race Fenomena's
champion: Norm!!
[The audience cheers and starts chanting Norm's name, and at that moment, the
infamous bright light appears again. Neo Team's just about had it with that
light, so they all quickly put on sunglasses. Coming out of the beam of light
is a small goblin-like creature dressed like a mime. The goblin is sitting on
the floating platform reading a book. The Neo Team points and laughs at the
sight of such a pathetic-looking thing. Even Velo starts to laugh a little,
but he quickly snaps out of it.]
VELO: Don't let Norm's size fool you. He's a demon on the racetrack!
[Norm closes his book, stands up and nods no at Velo. This makes Velo very,
very angry.]
VELO: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! YOU ARE RACING TODAY!! NOW DO IT!!
[Norm becomes frightened at Velo's behavior and decides to do what he says.
He floats down and hops off the platform, then he melts into a big gelatinous
blue blob, which splits in two, one of them bigger than the other. The
Cortex Team give disgusted/confused looks, then a red beret pops out of the
bigger blob and the two blobs take form. The smaller one becomes the Norm we
saw earlier, and the bigger one becomes a big obese obnoxious goblin dressed
like Norm.]
NORM #2: Oooooh, a race! Count me in!
[Norm #1 waves his finger at Norm #2 and turns away.]
NORM #2: I don't wanna hear it! The deal was that you race in return for me
wearing this dumb get-up!
[Norm #2 walks over to the Neo Team, pulling his pants up in the process.]
NORM #2: Besides, they don't stand a chance!
[The Cortex Team gives mean looks at Norm #2.]
[End Scene]
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viii. Norm Fails
----------------
[The Cortexes enter the Fenomena Championship where they race and beat Norm.
The crowd chants "Cortex" as Cortex giggles to himself]
CORTEX: Yes! Yeees!
[The crowd goes wild. Norm #2 approaches the Cortex Team.]
NORM #2: Y'now, you did good out there!
CORTEX: Go away, you filthy clown!
N.GIN: No no! He a mime!
CORTEX: Mime, clown, it's close enough! With their painted faces and tattoos
and stupid little honker things that....
NORM #2: Where do you get off callin' me a clown, with your big head and your
stupid springy hair!
[Velo's head appears over the throne and he looks kinda piffed.]
VELO: NORM!! GET OVER HERE!!
[Norm puts his book away and walks towards Velo.]
NORM #2: Uh oh!
[Both Norms walk towards Velo. They sigh and turn into blobs again. They fuse
back together and Norm takes shape.]
VELO: Perhaps I need new ways to motivate you, like taking your books away!
[Norm looks scared as he's teleported into the depths of space.]
VELO: I thought he had you beat, but you proved me wrong! You won't be so lucky
on... Teknee!
[End Scene]
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ix. Geary Race
--------------
[The Cortexes travel to Teknee, where they win the trophies for Assembly
Lane, Android Alley and Electron Avenue. Velo's head is seen once again over
the throne.]
VELO: So you know, very few racers have ever won all 12 trophies!
[The audience starts chanting "Cortex" as the team waves at them.]
VELO: Yes! They deserve it! But now, they must face my finest racer: GEARY,
Champion of Teknee!
[The bright light appears and a brown, green-eyed robot with a red chest port
appears floating on a platform. The crowd starts chanting "Geary".]
VELO: The pinnacle of robotics! Isn't that right, Geary?
[Geary starts speaking, his eyes turning red and his voice sounding angrier as
he speaks.]
GEARY: Only a robot can achieve perfection in motion! I WILL DEMOLISH ANY...
[quickly snaps out of it.]
GEARY: Oh, what a MESS! Can't have that not clean!
[takes a vaccum out of his chest port and starts cleaning the platform.]
GEARY: Now, WHERE WAS I?
[End Scene]
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x. Geary the Loser
------------------
[The Cortexes enter the Teknee Championship to race and beat Geary, which
they do. Geary is seen standing behind a column in the winner's circle.]
GEARY: My key! How did I lose?! I know Teknee like the back of my... MY HAND!!
IT'S DIRTY!! This whole place is FILTHY!!
[Geary gives off an annoyed sigh and takes out his vaccum, then starts
vaccuming the place. When he approaches Tiny, he takes out a brush from his
arm, and starts stroking Tiny on the arm with it. Then he takes the vaccum
and strokes Tiny's front. Tiny taps his foot Then we hear Velo's angry voice
(in person this time) in the background. Geary looks scared.]
VELO: GEEAAARY!!!! You... have... FAILED ME!!!!
[We see Velo standing on his throne, surrounded by two of his followers.]
VELO: As punishment, you must clean the trophy for them! AND when you're done
with that, you will clean... the entire Coliseum!
[laughs evilly]
VELO: You now have all 4 Champion Keys! And with these, you can now challenge
the most accomplished racer in the entire galaxy... ME
[The crowd starts to cheer.]
VELO: And... I... never... lose!
[End Scene]
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xi. Velo Championship
---------------------
[With all 12 trophies in their possession, the Cortexes enter the Velo
Championship to ultimately race Velo. The arena turns into part of the Hyper
Spaceway as Velo speaks and the Neo Team looks on.]
VELO: It seems that I did not give you enough credit, yes? I won't make that
mistake again. You savages will learn fear, just as millions have before you!
[Velo laughs maniacally as they both float towards the starting line.]
[End Scene]
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xii. Velo Rematch
-----------------
[After losing to Velo the first time, the Cortexes enter the Velo
Championship again for a rematch. This is just a scene of the arena turning
into part of the Hyper Spaceway.]
[End Scene]
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xiii. Velo's Victory
--------------------
[The Cortexes race Velo, but fail miserably. The arena closes up as Velo
speaks.]
VELO: That was a joke. Perhaps next time you might actually challenge me!
[End Scene]
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xiv. Velo Loses
---------------
[The Cortexes race Velo, and ultimately win. We see Velo snarling and
growling over his loss, but then looks around and smiles as the Cortex
Team approaches.]
VELO: Congratulations! You have won the Galaxy Circuit! And you put on quite a
show! Am I right everyone?
[The crowd goes wild.]
VELO: You are now free to go!
CORTEX: Good, good. Now whip up that vortex of yours and send us back to Earth,
please!
VELO: Wha? But no! I have to destroy Earth, since you no longer want to race.
You can't go back there. I thought I was pretty clear about that!
TINY: Huh? Tiny doesn't get it.
CORTEX: I do! Big Emperor Velo can't stand the fact he lost!
VELO: Are you certain of that? A rematch, then?
CORTEX: Ha! Nothing to it!
VELO: But there are rules to follow. You must first collect all my Time
Relics, then we can race for the fate of your... Earth.
[End Scene]
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xv. Velo Vanquished
-------------------
[The Cortexes go back to all the previous tracks they visited to win all 13
Time Relics. Then they go back and enter the Velo Championship to beat Velo
once and for all, and they do. We see the crowd going insane with applause
as Velo snarls and growls over his loss.]
ADVISOR #1: My lord! Please don't get angry!
ADVISOR #2: Your suit is leaking, sire!
[In a frustrated rage, Velo smacks Advisor #2 far away with his scepter.]
ADVISOR #2: Yaaahhhh!! I can see my house from heeeeere!!
[The crowd cheers even louder. Velo's just about had it. He gives off his last
couple of snarls before he suddenly explodes. The audience gasps. Cortex
happened to be up close, so his face is covered in soot as a result.
The Cortex Team walks over to the pile of gears, bolts, springs and body parts
that used to be Velo.]
CORTEX: [laughs maniacally] I am so GOOD! Who knew it would be this easy?!
[chuckles] A robot! How quaint.
[Cortex struggles to lift Velo's scepter out of the wreck, and then pulls it
out. Just as he's walking over to his team, a small goblin-like creature,
much like the ones in the audience, appears from the wreck.]
VELO: It's mine! Yon can't have it!
CORTEX: So, Emperor Velo the 27th! We meet at last, face to face.
[Velo lunges at Cortex, grabbing the scepter. After a little struggle, Tiny
steps in and grabs Velo.]
VELO: Help me! You're stealing my scepter! My power!
[Velo is forced to let go of the scepter. Tiny gives Velo an angry look.]
VELO: Eh, keep it. It's too big for me anyways.
[Once again, Cortex struggles to lift the scepter. Tiny tries to lend a hand.]
CORTEX: Back off! I can handle it.
[Cortex finally manages to lift the scepter.]
CORTEX: Now! On to Earth!
[All of a sudden, the head of the scepter snaps off. In slow-motion, it falls
to the ground. The Cortex Team is suddenly warped to some tribal jungle place
in front of a statue.]
N.GIN: EARTH!! WE MADE IT!! [giggles]
[As N.Gin kisses the ground, Cortex looks up in the sky and sees a clutter of
planets.]
CORTEX: This isn't Earth!
[All of a sudden, a bunch of blue gorilla-like things are seen walking towards
the Neo Team.]
CORTEX: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Tiny.
[Tiny picks up the broken scepter and head and puts them together, and they
magically stick. Tiny lifts the scepter over his head and the gorilla things
start bowing before Tiny.]
CORTEX: TIIINYYYYY!! YOU BUFOOOOOON!!
[The scene cuts to an overhead view of the area, then fades to black.]
[THE END]
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V. Credits
I would like to thank these things for allowing me to do my script...
*Naughty Dog for creating Cortex and the gang.
*Vivendi Universal for making this game.
*Nintendo for creating the Gamecube.
*CJayC for letting me post it at GameFaqs.
*And of course, Christmastime/My Family for making Crash Nitro Kart my first
Gamecube game.
Neo Cortex and other related characters copyright of Vivendi Universal
Nintendo Gamecube copyright of Nintendo.
This game script copyright of SamusLeHamus and GameFaqs. All rights reserved.
Take care, everyone! Always spay and neuter your pets! Goodbye!
