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Angry Video Game Nerd Aventures (2013)
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Copyright 2013 tomruiz
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guide on any other web site or as a part of any public display is strictly
prohibited, and a violation of copyright.
Angry Video Game Nerd Aventures is a game developed by FreakZone. Nerd and his
friends get sucked into a video game they were playing and now Nerd has to find
his friends and escape the abominable Game Land by beating ten deranged levels.
(I) Controls
(II) Walkthrough (Normal)
[Stage 1] Sucked in
[Stage 2] Assholevania
[Stage 3] Happy Candy Time
[Stage 4] Future Fuckballs 2010
[Stage 5] Blizzard of Balls
[Stage 6] Thy Farts Consumed
[Stage 7] Dungeons & Dickholes
[Stage 8] Beat it & Eat it
[Stage 9] Boo! Haunted House
[Final Stage] Laughin' Jokin' Numbnuts
(III) Questions and Answers
(V) About me
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(I) CONTROLS
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The default controls are for the XBox 360 controller but you can customize
any 3rd party controller.
PRIMARY CONTROLLER: Gamepad
Direction Pad/Joystick: Moves character
Jump: (A)
Shoot: (X)
Use Item: (Y)
Aim Lock: (RT)
Next Character: (RB)
Prev Character: (LB)
Start/Pause: (Start)
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(II) WALKTHROUGH (NORMAL)
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[Stage 1] Sucked in
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Move forward after the introduction and meeting Naggi. After the first fire
ball is a checkpoint. After the second fireball from the checkpoint is a beer
bottle to restore health. Hold the jump button to advance past the pit and
reaching another checkpoint. Shoot the orb to lift the green blocks and run
through before it closes again. Shoot the enemy then shoot the orb hanging
in the ceiling by holding the Aim Lock button and using the Direction Pad or
Joystick to aim. Run past the green blocks and pick up a Power-Up (Rocks).
To use Power-Ups press the Use Item (Y) button. After the Power-Up are blocks
that fall when you stand on it. Hold forward until you reach the end. Shoot
the enemy here and to pass the fireball wait until it's high then go under it
and over once it goes down. Jump over the spikes to reach another beer bottle
and checkpoint. When you reach the second spikes be careful not to go near it
as they cause damage. Just wait until it disappears then jump quickly. Shoot
the enemies while avoiding the rotating fireball. You will come across a block
with a skull on it, it's a trap that will instantly kill you. Avoid it and
move past more fireballs before reaching another checkpoint. Run forward past
more falling blocks to yet another Power-Up (Glitch). Use it to freeze the
fireballs to pass through easily. Avoid the skull blocks and reach another
checkpoint. You will see a hoard of enemies up ahead. Grab the Power-Up
(Battle Tank) to wipe out all enemies on screen. Moving along you'll find
another checkpoint. Use it if you must but it's already the end of the level
past the fireballs. Kill the last enemy and enter through into Game Land.
From here you can choose any level you want but for this guide we will go
from left to right.
Run under the swinging spike and shoot the zombie. Crouch under the rotating
spikes to avoid the ghost. Grab the Power-Up (Rocks) and either crouch while
shooting to kill the ghost or just avoid it. Make your way down the stairs and
finish off the zombies. Go over the spikes and shoot the zombie with your gun
or Power-Up if you still have it. Past the fireball and rotating spikes is a
checkpoint. Shoot or avoid the ghosts then make your way past three pressing
spikes. Another ghost appears so shoot it. Jump and crouch immediately on top
of the rotating spikes to avoid damage. Ahead is a swinging spike and a
rotating spike. Crouch on top of the rotating spike and jump to the checkpoint
when it's clear. After the fireball is a knight throwing axes. Get closer by
jumping on the platform where the axe reaches and jumping over the axe into
the next platform. Jump repeatedly while avoiding the axes for an easy kill.
Shoot the zombie and take the beer bottle. There's another knight behind the
pressing spikes. Wait until the axe is thrown and the spikes lifted, then jump
over the axe and run under the spikes to reach knight. Just stand in front and
shoot. Avoid the skull and fireball to get your checkpoint. And there it is
again, another knight. To get this guy, avoid the axe and crouch at the very
edge then shoot. Make your way up the stairs and you can see a 1-Up near a
skull block. You can first use the checkpoint on top of the stairs in case you
mess up getting the 1-Up. Watch out for the ghost when you do. Up ahead is a
pressing spike that you just wait until it's high enough for you to slip under
by running and jumping. Shoot or avoid the ghost and get the beer bottle. The
orange blocks move once you land on it. Wait until the fireball goes down and
jump on the moving platform. Watch out for the spikes on the skull block and a
ghost. You'll need to jump again to avoid another ghost and skull block. Let
the third ghost pass and there will be an L-shaped platform. Jump onto this
and shoot the zombie from there then quickly jump back on the moving platform.
Jump over where the zombie was and back to the moving platform. Jump over the
spikes and watch out for the fireball in front of the checkpoint. Jump over to
it or just wait until the platform reaches it. Grab the beer bottle and shoot
the zombie. To get through this part first shoot the zombies, then when the
pressing spikes are up tap the jump button quickly while moving forward while
avoiding the ground spikes (they only pop up in the middle of the pressing
spikes) and the skull block. Don't jump too high or you'll hit the spikes and
the ghosts. Down the stairs is a checkpoint. There are spikes near it so be
careful. Wait until the green skull blocks disappear and jump through. Get the
1-Up and wait again for the green skull blocks. Now here all you have to do is
maneuver through and wait until the green skull blocks disappear. There is a
beer bottle and another 1-Up along the way. After the 1-Up are orange skull
blocks that do not have dotted lines to indicate their location, so you'll
have to remember their placement. Jump move quickly and patiently and you will
reach a checkpoint right next to red skull blocks. These blocks toggle more
faster so you will need to be quick. Wait until the moving skull block is high
then run down under it. There is a 1-Up on a high platform. You'll need to
jump from the stairs after you pass the red skull blocks but wait until the
moving skull block in front of it is down before you make your move. Proceed
down past the red skull blocks and there will be a knight in front of orange
skull blocks. Just move slowly while continuously shooting his axes. Keep
moving down until you can hit both the axe and the knight. Just don't get to
close to the skull blocks. Grab the Power-Up (Battle Tank) and jump below when
it's clear. Shoot the zombie and hit the checkpoint. Grab the big gun that can
kill enemies faster and move past the moving skull block. Be warned that if
take damage you will lose the big gun. Jump on the ledge and shoot the zombies
from there. Shoot or avoid the ghost if you like. The ground spikes here first
pop out a little before coming out completely. You don't take damage when they
pop out so use this to your advantage. No use jumping here, just run when it's
clear and crouching to avoid the swinging spikes. At the next ledge is a beer
bottle and more enemies and rotating spikes. You can proceed slowly by
crouching on the spot next to the ground spikes and directly under the
rotating spikes to pick off visible enemies. If you still have your Power-Up
(Battle Tank) use it now since you might die any way. Just use the spots the
rotating and ground spikes can't touch to shoot the enemy. Near the exit is
another knight. Stand in front of the rotating spikes after the ground spikes
and shoot the knight from there. When you pass the knight the floor with skull
blocks fall when you land on them so just keep moving and jumping to the check
point up ahead and now you'll meet the boss!
BOSS: Mr. Hyde
The boss stage has one beer bottle and two ground spikes. Mr. Hyde throws fire
balls that arch under the ground and up then jumping high into the air. To
beat this guy easily just stay in front of him at the spot where the fireballs
arch under the ground and hold the jump button. Repeat this as he jumps around
the place while avoiding the ground spikes. When he shrinks to his true form
I'd suggest tapping the shoot button rapidly to get as many shots in as
possible. Repeat the strategy until he dies.
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[Stage 3] Happy Candy Time
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Move forward and get the Power-Up (Rocks) near ground spikes. You will notice
that the blocks with a different face will stick spikes out when you touch
them. Avoid those while moving along. Shoot the enemies past more ground
spikes and avoid the smiling green spheres. Shoot the flying green balls and
don't touch the non-smiling block. The 1-Up here is on top of the non-smiling
block so unless you have some health I wouldn't risk it. But if you do then
wait until the green sphere is down then get the 1-Up and jump to the next
block. Avoid more ground spikes and make your way to the top and through on
down. Get past the smiling spheres and reach the checkpoint at the waterfall.
Jump on the log and when it's falling jump off onto the platform. Wait until
the smiling sphere is gone and jump right. There are two 1-Ups, two beer
bottles, big guns and a Power-Up (Battle Tank). Get what you need and go back
to where the checkpoint is. Jump on the log and up the stairs pass the smiling
sphere. On the platform in front of the floating log shoot the purple egg from
that distance then move afterwards just watch out for the falling logs and use
them to get over. Head right and after the ground spike wait for log to appear
and jump onto the vertical log. Jump off quickly before it drops. Shoot the
purple egg and you might want to hit the checkpoint first before attempting
to the get 1-Up next to ground spikes and skull blocks. Or you can simply
ignore it. Head right and jump over the skull block to get the checkpoint. Get
the 1-Up or move ahead. Jump on more logs and land on the platform above the
Power-Up (Battle Tank). Time the spikes to get the Power-Up and go back up.
Stand in front of the ground spike and shoot the purple egg from there. Get
past the green spheres and on the platform above the ground spikes shoot the
flying green balls that swarm to you. Shoot the first purple egg and use its
platform to shoot the next one. Jump over the green sphere when it's clear and
make sure the ground spikes aren't up when you jump to it. Quickly jump to the
next one and time the green sphere and spikes to make your move to the ladder
above you. Past the rotating green sphere is another ladder. Go up and reach
the checkpoint and avoid the spikes. Go back down the ladder and when you're
half way jump off to the left and you will land on an area with three 1-Ups, a
Power-Up (Battle Tank) and three beer bottles. Go back up and past the
checkpoint is another Power-Up (Glitch). Go past the smiling spheres and on
top of the statue head are spikes on each corner. Jump over these and to the
cloud when the rotating green spheres are clear. Stand in front of the green
sphere moving up and down to shoot the flying green balls. The beer bottle
here has spikes under it. To get the beer bottle wait until the green sphere
and spikes are completely down and run forward jumping off quickly. Stand on
the tiny cloud to shoot the flying balls. Some of the blocks here have pop-up
spikes so just watch out for them and move forward. The happy green platforms
are bouncy so they can troublesome. Get the beer bottle while avoiding the
spike under it and get over the green spheres using the jumpy platforms to get
to the next checkpoint. Now here there is a long row of pop-up spikes that you
will if you time it properly you can easily make it through without taking too
much damage. Just wait until they pop up and before they completely pop out
just hold the jump button. Just watch out for the unhappy block and rotating
green sphere. Keep going until you reach the next checkpoint. Go right and get
the Power-Ups (Rocks) and (Battle Tank) while avoiding the green spheres. You
can crouch after getting the (Rocks) Power-Up to time the rotating green
sphere. Use the checkpoint and you will confront purple eggs jumping toward
you. Just move past them after a green sphere and spikes are two beer bottles.
Make your way to the top and crouch under the rotating green sphere to wait
for the pop-up spikes to retract then run for it. The jumply platforms here
have some that drop off screen so be careful not to jump on ones too low.
After getting past is the last checkpoint, a beer bottle and the stage boss.
BOSS: Deranged Unicorn
This colorful creature flies around dropping rainbow balls and spheres that
turn into harmless flowers when they touch the ground. There is a beer bottle
on the far right and the pink blocks will drop once you touch it. This Unicorn
flies in an infinity pattern so if you stand on the top platforms you will
only have to watch out for the stuff it drops. To avoid the drops by going
under the top platforms as they cannot get past it and go back on top. It will
move faster as its health drops but keep shooting until it falls out of the
sky.
Shoot the jellyfishes from the start and get past the beams while picking up
the Power-Up (Rocks). Avoid the skull blocks and an enemy with a flying
jetpack will appear. Shoot it or ignore it. Go up the ladder and head left.
After you kill the jellyfish wait for the beams to switch then jump up to get
the checkpoint. Go right and use the Power-Up (Glitch) to disrupt the enemy
after climbing the ladder. You can use it again to freeze the floating skull
blocks to get through. Continue to climb up the ladders and reach another
checkpoint. Shoot the jellyfishes and flying jetpack from the higher ledge and
jump onto the ladder to avoid the rotating glowing orb. Move left and up the
ladder to reach the checkpoint. Head right and go past the toggling blocks.
Keep going right and pick up a beer bottle along the way. Once you jump over
a column of skull blocks you will see 'Guitar Guy' behind the couch. After he
comes out go up to him and press Up to make him playable. Press (LB) or (RB)
to switch characters. He can shoot through walls and objects but his jump is
limited. Go back to the toggling blocks and use timing to reach the ladder on
the other side. Use the checkpoint and head right while shooting the flying
jetpacks to reach yet another checkpoint. Go up the ladder and on the platform
where the robot was shoot the pink cog to turn it and bring the pink blocks
closer to you. Jump on to it immediately as it will move back. Jump through
onto the next pink platform and shoot the cog again and on the third platform
avoid the skull block when you move. Kill the jellyfish and jump onto the
ladder to reach the checkpoint. Go up the ladder and make your way up while
dealing with jetpacks, rotating orbs and skull blocks. After the second pink
platform is a checkpoint. To get the Power-Up (Battle Tank) wait until the
rotating orb is clear for you to jump onto the block next to the skull and
immediately jumping again to the Power-Up. Crouch to avoid the orb and proceed
right. Shoot the jellyfishes or use your Power-Up to get rid of them. The
toggling blocks shift right so use timing to get past while avoiding the skull
blocks. Go right and time the blocks to reach the checkpoint. If you fall just
go back up the ladder. After the checkpoint go up the ladder and go past the
moving skull blocks and rotating orbs. Time blocks and avoid the turrets
firing upwards. Get the beer bottle and go left up the blocks. Use the check
point and jump on the silver surfboard. It will automatically move so just
shoot and manueuver your way forward up and down. Avoid the turrets that lock
onto you and keep shooting. Missiles and jetpacks await you ahead so just
shoot and move. Hit the last checkpoint and start the fight with the boss.
BOSS: Floating Head
This weird floating head shoots in eight directions while moving around in a
circle. There are two beer bottles when you need it and two turrets covering
the corners so avoid their line of sight. Kill all the smaller heads circling
around the big head to get it angry. It will start moving around fast in an
infinity shape pattern on the right side so just keep left and low while
avoiding its shots. Tap the shoot button rapidly when you shoot at it to
finish it.
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[Stage 5] Blizzard of Balls
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First off this is one disgusting level. Switch characters when you need to.
Head right where the pink blocks fall after you touch them. Shoot land turrets
and blast those birds out of the sky. Moving right there will be a giant snow
man rolling snowballs. Get the beer bottle if you need it and keep shooting
rapidly at the snowballs through to the snowman or just jump and shoot. Which
ever way once that is done go right and shoot the reindeers and turrets. Watch
out for the ice block near the pit as it has pop-up spikes. Jump to the other
side and use the checkpoint. Shoot more reindeer and birds and stand back as
there is a flying snowball launching stuff at you. Shoot at it from afar and
then when you get closer another one shows up. Shoot it from afar as well and
get the beer bottle. Go right and shoot the birds above and avoid skull blocks.
Another flying snowball shows up so shoot it like before. After it is a check
point and rolling snowballs. Get the beer bottle and make your way past by
jumping on the high block once the spikes retract and jump right. Shoot the
birds and then take care of the snowman. Use Guitar Guy to shoot at the flying
snowball near the beer bottle and 1-Up. Get the beer bottle and wait for the
spikes to clear before getting the 1-Up. Make your way back, head up and move
right. Jump the pink blocks before they fall and keep going right while
picking up beer bottle along the way. Keep jumping until you reach the check
point. The area is slippery here so use caution. Shoot the flying snowball,
avoid the flames and go up the ladder. Shoot the reindeer and take the Power-
Up (Rocks). Use the right ladder. Go up quickly and the fire could take care
of the reindeer for you. Shoot it if it doesn't and go right. Shoot the turret
and go down the ladder. Go left and down some more. Head right and move care
fully so you don't get fried. Tap left after moving forward to stop slightly
before you hit a flame. Once you get past shoot the turret and go right. Get
past more flames and head up the ladder into a well needed checkpoint. Go down
the hole on the right and shoot the rolling snowballs through to the snowman.
Get the 1-Up and proceed up the ladders. Get the beer bottle if you need it
and keep going up. Run over the pink blocks and shoot the turret quickly and
jump so you don't fall down. If you get the Power-Up (Glitch) you'll have to
go back around and up again. If you do get it then when you get back to the
same place continue left and get the beer bottle if needed. Go down the ladder
and shoot the turret while crouching. Skip the first ladder down and head left
to a beer bottle. Go up the ladder first to reach the checkpoint. (NOTE: If
you want to get the 1-Up you probably saw earlier you'd need to go down the
ladder where you got the beer bottle. You'd have to go all the way back if you
do get it and to be honest the way one keeps dying here it wouldn't be worth
it to some. But if you want go down that ladder, shoot the turret and avoid the
skull blocks and flame then quickly make your way down then back to the last
checkpoint) Back at the recent checkpoint jump on the snow blocks and it will
move up. Jump to the next snow blocks and jump over the skull blocks to a
cloud. Jump onto the pink falling blocks and run forward. A turret and birds
will greet you at the end so just jump and shoot since the blocks are falling.
Shoot the flying snowball at a distance and jump on the clouds to another
checkpoint. Shoot another flying snowball from there and move along . When you
land on the snow blocks they will start moving up to the spikes so you'll have
to move quickly to get past. When you're clear of the spikes run forward on
the falling blocks while dodging the birds and jump at the end to avoid the
skull blocks hopefully landing on the checkpoint when you do. Go right for a
strange scene. Go past the spikes and flames to get near Santa. Shoot him
until he stops then jump on him to slide down the hill. While sliding jump to
avoid spikes, flames, skull blocks and disgusting animals. Shoot flying
presents and pick up beer bottles along the way but when it looks like you've
reached the end you will crash into spikes so jump at the last second if you
can to avoid damage. You'll crash right into the boss stage so the checkpoint
starts here.
BOSS: Christmas Spirits
Three vengeful spirts combine and shoot spikes in all directions, then float
around to annoy you. There's only one beer bottle as you can see. At the start
jump on the ledge and jump shoot at them when they combine to fire. After they
break apart head to the left side of the screen to avoid them. They will
combine again and this time go to where Santa is and use Aim Lock (RT) to
shoot them at an angle. Whe it's clear immediately jump toward the right side
and on the higher ledge shoot at them when they combine again. If they try to
combine again when they're closer go down behind the right ledge and shoot at
an angle again. Jump to avoid the spirit and when they combine shoot at an
angle as before. At this point their health should be low and they'll start
moving fast. Jump to avoid them and use the beer bottle if needed. They
will combine near or above you so aim and shoot rapidly. They'll break off
faster now so just jump and use the right screen corner to your advantage.
They'll combine near you again so just shoot them to end it.
Head right while dodging the arrow. Shoot the flying skulls and get past the
flames and circling fireball. Wait until it's clear of spikes and move across.
Shoot the skulls and mucks and keep moving right. Shoot more skulls and jump
over the pit when it's clear. Shoot the flying meatball but don't go down the
ladder on the right. Stand on the right side of the pit and when the fireball
is up run straight left to the area below. Proceed left past the arrows to
reach the Power-Up (Glitch). Climb up the ladder and go left. Avoid the
circling fireball and skull blocks by tapping the jump button. Keep going left
until you reach a ladder. Go down and use the checkpoint. Go right and down
the ladder. Go left and down another ladder and stop halfway to shoot the
floating meatball. Go down the ladder where it was and get the beer bottle if
it's necessary. Crouch on the left side of the lower block where the fireball
is circling and when it's clear jump to the 1-Up and off to the left quickly.
Go down the ladder and avoid the fireballs and arrows while making your way to
the check oint and beer bottle. A bloody shark will keep popping out and if
you jump on it before it pops out completely you'll ride it. Move right and
when you press the shoot button the shark will shoot lasers through its eyes.
Mow down everything in your way until you reach a platform. Jump off and go up
the ladder but don't get the beer bottle yet until you see a fireball in the
way. Get the checkpoint up the ladder first and when the fireball is high up
go down to get the beer bottle if you must. Past the fireball and arrows up
the ladder is a big gun. Time the two fireballs to get it but a skull comes at
you so either shoot it if you can or just jump down to the lower platforms.
Back up top where you got the big gun is another ladder, go up and left while
shooting the skulls. There are loose rocks so be careful of those. Keep going
left until you reach a checkpoint. Go up the ladder to another checkpoint.
Go right from there to reach a 1-Up and go back. Keep going left until you
reach a ladder. Get the Power-Up (Rocks) on the way. Go down and get the beer
bottle if you need it. Go left and watch out for the loose rocks. Get the
checkpoint and move left quickly. Make your way around the skull blocks to the
ladder. Go up, get the beer bottle and jump left then right to avoid the skull
block. Use the checkpoint and go right then down. Get the beer bottle if you
must then go right. Dodge the fireballs and near the ladder is a Power-Up
(Battle Tank) that you can get by jumping over the skull blocks. Go up the
ladder and past the arrows to another ladder. Reach the checkpoint and shoot
the muck and as you head right just shoot all the floating skulls. Past the
fireballs and muck is a ladder, go up. Go right and shoot more mucks until you
reach a bunch of blocks. A freak crashes them and down you fall into the boss
stage.
BOSS: Demon Goat
This freak floats up and down and nothing else. The pit you're falling down in
has skull blocks littered everywhere so they can be a nuisance, and there are
no beer bottles. Surprisingly you can move freely. The key here is to stay
close around the middle as it only moves in a zig-zag pattern, and it's easier
to keep an eye on the skull blocks. Keep shooting at it while moving over or
under it as it zigs or zags while avoiding the skull blocks. It will move
faster when its health is low so keep shooting and take damage from it if you
must just avoid the skull blocks to end it.
Go right while dodging flying creatures but watch out for bubbles that come
out from the ground. Ignore the first ladder down and keep going right until
you reach a second ladder going down. Pick up beer bottles when you need to
along the way. Down the ladder is a checkpoint. Go left from there and down
the hole. Go down again and shoot whatever is walking down there as you head
right. Watch out for the bubbles. Near two moving skull blocks is a key. Get
it and go back, then up the ladder and go right. Use the checkpoint and avoid
the bubbles and spikes here. Go up to the locks to use the key automatically.
Jump over the hole and go right to another checkpoint. Go up while avoiding
the fireballs. Grab the beer bottle, shoot the bat and get the key on the left
side. Make your way back down by crouching on the lower left edge, and when
it's clear move down underneath it. Go up to the locks again to use the key.
Use the checkpoint and go right. There are flying creatures and shifting
blocks so use timing while shooting. Reach the ladder on the far right side
and go down to a checkpoint. Shoot the enemies in this area below and grab the
beer bottle. Climb back up and for the blocks here, wait until the red block
appears and then the yellow one after it. Jump on the yellow block and after
two seconds jump on the blue block that will appear under where the red block
was. Hold jump two and a half seconds after you land on the blue block to land
on the red block, then two seconds after jump to the next block, and then the
same with the last block until you jump to the high ledge. And the same thing
happens again. Just repeat the process until you get to the other side where a
most wanted checkpoint is. The key here is not to jump too early or too late.
Go down the ladder then right while dodging the fireballs. Below that are
moving skull blocks. Move around them, then just wait for the spikes to go
down at the left before jumping quickly to the checkpoint. Go down and head
left past bubbles and fireballs. You'll see another set of toggling blocks.
Use timing to reach the checkpoint. After you go down the ladder there are
loose blocks. Head left while being careful not to fall with the blocks. Keep
going left, and crouch where the circling fireballs are. There are two fire
balls that go up, the first one just stand to the left of it, and the second
one the right side. Get the beer bottle. Jump and shoot the orb then jump
quickly to the other side to the checkpoint while being careful not to touch
the skull blocks. Wait for the green skull blocks and go left. There is a orb
behind a moving column, and if you use 'Guitar Guy' you can shoot through the
blocks to hit it. Shoot it and go up the ladder. Get right past the fireballs
to see 'Mike' who can be playable. His special is "Secret Vision". Use (LB) or
(RB) to switch to him. He can hold his high jump longer, like "Luigi". Use
'Mike' and with his vision go up to the blocks around the beer bottle and 1-Up
to break the blocks with his lightsaber. Go to the blocks to the left for
another beer bottle hidden from view. Go back down and after the moving column
go down the ladder. To the left is a beer bottle and 1-Up. Check the fireball
and get the items, after that go right. Shoot the enemies and use the check
point between two fireballs. Grab the key shoot the bat. After you get the
beer bottle the blocks here fall so using the 'Nerd' run while avoiding the
fireballs and jump up toward the orb and shoot at an angle. Proceed through
and shoot the orb that will make a path of arrow blocks. Follow the direction
it points while staying clear of the fireballs and bubbles until you reach the
locks. Use the key and checkpoint. Go right until you see two moving skull
blocks in front of the moving column. Turn left until you see the orb, and
shoot it to get through. Time the blocks and get pass the orange skull blocks
twice. Up the ledge is a checkpoint, get to it and go up. You will see green
skull blocks and once you get pass it the spike columns will close in. Jump
up using the blocks to make it through the top. Climb up the ladder on the
right and use the checkpoint. Go left and up the ladder. There are four
circling fireballs with the key at the end that has a green skull block on it,
not to mention moving skull blocks. A trick to use it to go under the first
moving skull block, then jump into the air to get damage. As you're blinking
get the big gun and move in front of the static skull block. Jump up to avoid
the third fireball as it's circling. Keep jumping until the green skull block
toggles and jump over to it to get the key and crouch at the corner. Wait
until it's clear again to make your way through with the big gun. Don't forget
the beer bottles. Go to the locks and use the checkpoint afterwards. Shoot the
enemies until you reach a fireball. Stay at the spot in front of the ledge and
keep jumping over the fireball until the spikes on the higher blocks are clear.
Go up the ladder, use the checkpoint and jump on the flying creature. Watch out
for bubbles, skull blocks and flying fowls. You'll come across a bunch of fire
balls too. Make it through until you hit the checkpoint. You can get the two
1-Ups and beer bottle when you reset to the checkpoint you just used. Before
that though is the boss!
BOSS: Mohawk Dragon
The dragon shoots flames that zig down before they continue zagging. Besides
that skull blocks come at you on a straight path. The dragon can only take
damage from the head, so you'll have to aim there. I used 'Guitar Guy' and
stayed low most of the time, since his shots zig zag and goes through blocks.
Just stay close enough that when it starts to shoot fire it will zag above
you, if you know what I mean. It will start to move faster like they all do
but just keep shooting until it's over. Remember it's better to take damage
from it and not the skull blocks.
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[Stage 8] Beat it & Eat it
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Another disgusting level. What did I expect?
Go right and avoid the circling star. Stand in front of the popping poles to
shoot the jumping fool. The white puddles are slippery so watch out. Shoot the
bouncies then jump onto the boob platform to jump onto the beer bottle. It
follows you. Jump over the skull blocks and again over the poles. Get the
Power-Up (Rocks) and shoot the bouncie from there. Wait until the green skulls
clear and use the checkpoint. Avoid the floating blocks and for the stars,
move quickly forward as you jump over the first star and pass the second one
as it moves away from you. You can use 'Mike' for this. Get pass the skull
block and then more green skull blocks. There are four sets of orange skull
blocks and static skull blocks after the green ones. Just remember to jump off
the boob platform when you pass the fourth set as it will fall down once you
reach the end. Just use timing to get pass the blocks and just jump over the
static ones. Jump off the platform and onto the checkpoint while avoiding the
poles. To the right just wait for the red skull block to clear before jumping
onto the platforms. Just off when the blocks clear and the platform is high
enough to reach the next ones. Go right until you reach another checkpoint and
a beer bottle. Head right while jumping on the pink rings. When you land shoot
the jumping fool while crouching to avoid the stars. Jump to the next platform
and move right quickly to the pink rings. Jump on them and jump higher to reach
each one easily onto the checkpoint. Go right, pass more floating blocks and a
star to reach the pink rings. Jump on each one as usual and make your way right
until you land on a block. Go down the ladder and use the checkpoint. Go left
pass the two stars and carefully jump on each block and ring to avoid the row
of skulls below until you reach the checkpoint. Get the beer bottle along the
way and avoid the pole near the checkpoint. Hold jump from the checkpoint to
reach the 1-Up behind the skull block. Jump down and shoot everything as you
move left while dodging the stars. Go down the ladder onto the checkpoint.
This next part, just try to get pass the stars but try to minimize the damage.
When you get near the block a witch flies toward you. It's best to jump over
the block (don't stand on it) and use the boob platform to jump over the witch
when she swoops down, or you can stand there and shoot rapidly. The next part
is jumping over skull blocks and avoiding the green ones. It's all about timing
here. Hold the jump button to jump high. After the skull blocks is another
witch so shoot or avoid. Jump off the platform but use the checkpoint. Grab the
big gun and get on the boob platform and to get pass the star and skull blocks
just wait until the skull blocks and star are up then skim forward using the
bounce of the platform to get over, just don't land on the blocks. Time it that
you jump off and onto the edge where the star circles. Jump over the star when
it passes and shoot the bouncies. When it's clear go right and avoid the next
star onto the boob platform again. Go inbetween the orange skulls when it
clears, and pass that is a witch and circling star. Shoot or avoid, make your
way toward the right and jump into the crowd toward the VIP room or in this
case, the boss stage.
BOSS: Bare Cowboy
This guy jumps back and forth while launching "white blocks" at you. There are
no spikes or beer bottles, just the occasional showers and irritating floor.
Hang around the middle of the area and keep shooting at him especially when he
turns his back to you. Don't approach him, keep your distance and always move
under him when he jumps near you, you don't need to jump at all. Some black
lines fall so watch out for those. He'll jump faster when his health is low but
just keep firing away.
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[Stage 9] Boo! Haunted House
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You'll notice immediately the limited vision in this area. Jump over the skull
block and get pass the spikes. Shoot the zombie while staying clear of the
circling ghost. The platform after the ghost has spikes, jump off and watch out
for the moving ghosts and skull block. Pink blocks appear over the pit here so
keep going right. Same thing as before but this time spikes appear inbetween
the skull blocks. Jump onto the pink block and a witch appears when you use the
checkpoint so crouch when you do. Move forward carefully while jumping on the
pink blocks. As you go further be wary of silver skull blocks. Make your way
right until you're under a circling ghost. Crouch and shoot the pumpkin then
wait until it's clear before you jump over and move away from the ghost. Head
left jumping over the skull block and avoiding more as you go along. After the
third skull block jump up and right and don't jump to far to avoid the skull
blocks. Shoot more pumpkins and go right carefully while avoiding the ghost.
Head down and you will see a checkpoint near a skull block. Use it then shoot
the pumkin before jumping on the green block. Like in "Mario" the blocks will
move along a path and you'll have to keep up. It will start to move up after
moving right. When it moves right again jump over the skull block and onto the
single pink block as the green blocks will go up again. Jump back on and get
around the ghost. After the ghost are a bunch of skull blocks. The sequence is
over, over, under and over. Ignore the pumpkin and jump on the pink block and
back on the green blocks once it goes right. Jump over more skull blocks and
jump off toward the checkpoint. Take the Power-Up (Glitch) and use it to get
pass the ghosts, if you will. At the bottom of the stairs is another moving
green block. Just avoid the ghosts here. The blocks will go right them
immediately up, then left, up, right, up again and finally right where you must
jump over the skull block and onto the pink blocks. The single blocks here will
fall when you land on them, so keep moving right until you reach the checkpoint
at the bottom. Along the path here are all skull blocks. Jump over three skull
blocks and shoot the pumpkin. Go under then over three skull blocks where there
will be a ghost circling around. When it goes away from you go right then jump
over a single skull block then go under three more. Move forward just a little
to avoid the pumpkin and then jump over three more skull blocks. When you pass
under three more skull blocks there will be loose blocks from now on so you
will have to move quickly. The sequence here is over, under, over, over, over
and under. Reach the checkpoint and jump over the skull block to go right.
Shoot the pumkins and witch as you head toward the right. Carefully follow the
pathe of pink block and avoid the skull blocks as before. Shoot the bat after
the first skull block and move right while avoiding more skull blocks. Head up
and jump on top then shoot another bat. Jump over the skull block and another
then shoot the bat coming from behind you above. Switch to 'Mike' using (LB) or
(RB) and carefully jump over the skull block. Switch back to 'Nerd' if you like
and jump over the next few skull blocks to reach the checkpoint. Jump on the
ledge to reveal more skull blocks. There are three ghost circling here and the
skull blocks are only near the first ghost so make your way past it and go left
past the other two ghosts. Keep going and you see two more ghosts and a zombie.
Grab the beer bottle and shoot the zombie. Jump onto the pink blocks and then
to the toggling red block and again onto the pink blocks. Jump over the skull
block and head right past another skull block. Take the checkpoint and keep
heading right while taking care not to get hit by the ghosts from below and the
skull blocks. Shoot any bats that fly in front and behind you. Jump over more
skull blocks and just move short distances to get more blocks into view. Keep
shooting the bats and go down the blocks where they make you take a downward
path. When you reach two moving ghosts jump over the first one to a pink block
that will appear. Jump over the second ghost to the waiting checkpoint. Jump on
the green block and it will start moving right. Avoid the ghost and jump up to
follow the blcok. It will go right then up at the pink block. Jump on the pink
block then jump on it again when it turns left. Wait until the block trail is
under you then jump again as it turns around again. Follow it going right and
jump to avoid the ghost. The blocks will start coiling downward so just stay
in the same spot while jumping to avoid the ghost. It will go right when it
you see the skull block on the right. Jump over the skull block as it heads
down, then right, then jump over the skull block again then off the green
blocks to the platform BUT don't stop here! The floor is loose so jump right
away over the skull block then forward under another pair of skull blocks and
jump off to reach the checkpoint. If you move too fast you won't see the skull
blocks right in front of the checkpoint so jump over them to start fighting
the boss.
BOSS: Bimmy & Jimmy
There are four pairs of skull blocks in the area, two pairs on each side. There
are no beer bottles. Bimmy moves his hand around while Jimmy charges back and
forth from one side to the other with a chainsaw. Bimmy's hand can damage you
but it's safe to jump near its arm. The key here is to always shoot while
you're jumping so that while you avoid Jimmy you're landing shots on Bimmy at
the same time. Concentrate on Jimmy first. Shoot him from the start as he
charges and jump over him then over the skull blocks under Bimmy's hand to the
middle then turn around quickly to shoot at both of them. Jimmy runs fast as
you can see so jump again more to the right to avoid Bimmy's hand. Keep firing
and jump again over Jimmy, and jump over the skull blocks to the middle once
Bimmy's hand is over you to avoid him. Stay in the middle while shooting Jimmy
and Bimmy reaching to the far left, then move to the left when Bimmy goes over
to the right and by this time if you kept firing Jimmy should be finished and
their health low enough for you to finish off Bimmy with ease.
Go past the rainbow beam when it clears and crouch under the second fireball
(or rainbowball) to avoid the missile. Watch out for spike on the next block
and a loose block after it. You'll need to time it that you can jump when the
flames are clear. Just hold jump up when the spikes pop out if you need more
time. Jump on the flame block when it's clear from the loose block and time
the flames before jumping again from the loose block below. Jump off the
vertical flame block to the purple rings and watch out for the missile. Jump
each ring to the checkpoint up ahead. The block below the checkpoint is loose
so wait for the flame to jump and ignore the missiles. Stand on the block
between two skull blocks and wait for the beam to clear before dumping on the
loose block next to the skull block. Let it fall and jump to the platform
below. Use 'Guitar Guy' to shoot through the blocks at the bloody shark before
going over. The block on the left of the vertical beam is loose so time the
beams then jump onto that block then to the one to the right of it. The blocks
near the beam and skull blocks are loose as well. Time the beam as usual and
jump onto these blocks and over the skull blocks while not landing too close to
the flames. Jump when it's clear and use the checkpoint. Switch to 'Mike' and
stand in front of the skull blocks. Draw the skull closer and swipe it. Switch
back to 'Nerd' and immediately after you shoot jump over the skull blocks. Fire
again to boost the platform then shoot the remaining skulls or switch to 'Mike'
and let them come to you so you can easily swipe them. Keep the platform moving
by hitting the cog and use 'Nerd' to shoot back at the cog from the far right
of the platform so that if you shoot continuously the two platform will touch
each other. There will be invisible skull blocks that suddenly appear so be
prepared to jump twice. Move to the right platform and while it moves jump
over a single skull block, then over a pair , and move then under the last two.
Use the checkpoint and go right on the ghost blocks when it's clear. Head up
and jump over the skull block and over another one as you go right. Stay on the
ghost blocks while firing at the enemy. The blocks in front of the green ghost
block are loose. After disposing of the enemy jump on the green ghost blocks to
begin moving right. Jump immediately over the skull block and follow the blocks
as it goes up toward more skull blocks. You won't touch the high skull block so
just follow and jump over the next skull block and beside it as it passes under
it and then down. When you go down jump up to avoid the rainbowball then over
the skull block to the left when the ghost blocks start moving left, then up
and right. Jump again to avoid the rainbow and go right, jumping over more
skull blocks and onto the checkpoint. Switch to 'Mike' if you like and time
the toggle blocks to go through. First wait until the red block appears AFTER
the orange block above it disappears. After the red block jump to the yellow
block that will appear under the orange block. Jump up toward the right to the
blue block. Jump the purple rings and land on the block where the bloody shark
is. Two toggle blocks appear on the right so just stand on the block jumping
over the shark or use 'Nerd' to jump shoot down at the shark to kill it until
the lower block appears. Jump on that, and jump up again to reach the second
toggle block and to the safe blocks. If you haven't killed the shark yet just
aim down at it from here. You see toggling platforms around skull blocks. Jump
over them using the platforms and get the checkpoint. Get on the green springy
platforms and jump over the columns of skull blocks. Just jump from the highest
point to get over to the other side. The third column has orange skull blocks
so just wait until it's clear. Land on the checkpoint, and up ahead are stacks
of skull blocks that toggle. I used 'Mike' to get through this. Just time it
and move quickly to the safe areas. Don't hold the jump too long when you try
to go up. From the ledge go right to the next ledge and wait until it's clear
to go down. The red skull blocks down here toggle faster so be quick to reach
the checkpoint. The row of blocks after the checkpoint are loose, and ghost
skull blocks are in the way. And missiles come at you near the end. When you
go right the sequence is over, under, over, over, over, under and over the
last skull block. Just crouch to avoid the second missile on the ghost blocks.
Watch out for the beams in front of you and go to the next ghost blocks when
it's clear. Three pairs of skull blocks are in the way when you use the pink
platform. Shoot the cog and it's over, under then over to the next platform.
Don't shoot the next cog too much as it will launch you straight onto another
pair of skull blocks. As soon as you move enough jump onto the loose block
behind the skull blocks and then to the checkpoint. Jump over the skull block
and wait for the orange skull blocks to clear before shooting the cog and
jumping over more skull blocks. Jump over the missile and wait for the flames
to clear before moving ahead. Crouch on the lower block to avoid the rainbow
ball and move over to the ghost blocks while dodging the missile. There will be
a path of ghost blocks under the two flame blocks to the other ones. Duck
under the missile before going up. Wait on the last two ghost blocks and time
the beams before reaching the checkpoint. Jump on the surfboard and stay near
the upper area since the bloody shark will always stay low. Dodge the missiles,
rainbows, skull blocks and shoot the flying skulls and witches. After you reach
the checkpoint there will be spikes and beams. Go past those and past the red
skull blocks quickly to land in the final boss stage.
BOSS: Fred Fucks
The culprit of this trash game is no one other than the blandly named "Fred
Fucks", THE programmer and apparent nemesis of 'Nerd' who doesn't seem to know
him because even he didn't think such a name existed. The stage has two beer
bottles on spike blocks, five pairs of ghost blocks at the bottom and one each
beside each spike block.</pre><pre id="faqspan-2">
Fred flies around in a jetpack, swooping in a "V" pattern and throwing fire
balls at you. The fireballs go low and high at times. I used 'Guitar Guy' and
stayed in the middle block to shoot Fred as he swoops low. I think when he
swoops low to the left side the fireball come at you low, and when he swoops to
the right, the fireball come at you high. Jump and crouch to avoid them. After
he takes some damage he will have spiked balls around him. Only 'Guitar Guy'
can shoot through his spikes so use him. He'll repeat the same pattern just
crouch when he swoops near you. After inflicting more damage (a litle over
half) it will cause him to have a gastrointestinal disorder (at this point,
turning the sound off won't detract whatever value this game has left, if it
even had any). He will sway back and forth at the top from one end to the other
dropping turd. Some things you can try: either stay in the middle, aim up to
shoot him when he passes and dodge or stay on a ghost block beside any spike
block and use 'Guitar Guy' to shoot through Fred and moving down to dodge any
turds then back up to continue shooting at him. Rapidly tapping the fire button
also helps. If you're low on bottles grab them while you can. Once his health
drops less than two-thirds he will start swinging a chained spike. He moves in
the usual infinity (sideways eight) shape pattern at the top. Stand on the
spike or ghost block to shoot him with 'Guitar Guy' and when he gets close
step down while avoiding his spikes. Dodge and when he passes go back up top
to continue shooting him. As his death nears he will use two chained spikes to
swing at you. If you're lucky and he's on the other side when it happens just
keep shooting him from the ghost or spike block to finish him off. Once he
explodes Game Land begins to fall apart sending you back to the real world.
Congratulations, you finally beat the game. And apparently, only nerds would
DARE play this game again while it takes an idiot to go through it first.
Go figure.
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(III) Questions and Answers
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Q: Where do I get Guitar Guy?
A: In Future Fuckballs 2010
Q: Where do I find Mike?
A: In Dungeons and Dickholes, you'll need Guitar Guy first
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(V) About me
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