Last issue I tried something different. I tried to have a little
trivia contest, giving away some prizes for the first to get all
the answers. Well, I should have known that Phrack's readers
are lazy. The amount of you who actually responded was pathetic.
The winners are: dFx, Holistic, Damiano & Matt
I had planned on 5 winners. Notice how many won. I won't even
say how many these guys got right, because noone came close to
100%. Obviously I'm the only trivia buff in the underground.
[Something very humorous I found on the FireWalls List]
A one-act play
Dramatis Personae:
Perry Metzger (PM): an AVP responsible for the firewall at a
Fortune 100 company.
Joe Cert (JC): A person at CERT supposed to be helping.
[The scene opens to Perry on the phone with Joe Cert. Perry is at work
and freaking out because he doesn't run Sun sendmail and doesn't know
what to do. If he turns off mail, his users will kill him. He has no
idea how many machines he has to fix or if he has a problem at all.]
PM: Well, I have the problem that I don't normally run Sun sendmail,
and I can't run it, so I need to know enough that I can figure out how
to fix my security problem.
JC: Well, we don't have a procedure to tell people anything beyond
what we put in the advisory.
PM: I run the gateway for a firm that trades hundreds of billions of
dollars a day in the financial markets. We can't afford do get shut
down. Isn't there any way you can tell me anything that can help me?
JC: Well, we really don't have a procedure in place.
PM: I see. Can I ask you some questions?
JC: Sure.
PM: So this problem, would it be fixed if I had the Prog mailer turned
off on my machines?
JC: Well, its a problem that will allow people to run programs on your
machine.
PM: Yes, but would turning off the Prog mailer fix it?
JC: Well, the problem allows people to run programs on your machine.
PM: I see. Will this problem only hurt machines that have direct TCP
access to the internet, or are machines that can get mail indirectly
also possibly affected?
JC: The hole is exploited by sending mail to the machine.
PM: Yes, but do you need SMTP access to the machine, or will just
being able to send mail to it hurt you?
JC: Well, the hole is exploited by sending mail to the machine.
PM: look, the machine on my firewall can't be telneted to. Does that
make me safe?
JC: Well, the hole is exploited by sending mail to the machine.
PM: Listen, I have THREE THOUSAND workstations in a dozen cities on
three continents. Are you telling me that I have to tell all my people
that they are working the weekend installing a new sendmail on every
machine in the firm? I don't even know how to test to see if I've
fixed the problem once I've done that!
JC: Well, the whole is exploited by sending mail to the machine.
PM: Can't you tell me any details?
JC: We really don't have a procedure for that.
PM: Do you know what the problem is?
JC: I can reproduce it, yes.
PM: Look, I work for a company with REAL MONEY on the line here. I can
get you a letter from a managing director telling you that I'm legit.
You can check who we are in any newspaper -- we're one of the largest
investment banks in the world. Every day the Wall Street Journal lists
the Lehman Brothers T-Bond Index on page C-1. You can check my
criminal record -- hell, the SEC makes you get fingerprinted so many
times around here that I've still got ink on my fingers from the last
time. Can't you give me some help here?
JC: We really don't have a procedure for doing that. I'm taking
notes, though, and I'll tell my management of your concerns.
[He continues in this vein, but eventually, our hero gives up,
realizing that CERT is part of the problem, not the solution. All
they've succeeded in doing is keeping him up at night. He can't fix
his problem, since he doesn't know how. He has no idea if he has a
problem. He can't check once he's done something to determine if he's
fixed it. All he knows is that CERT has no procedure for telling him
anything regardless of who he is, period.]
PM: So what you are telling me is that if I want details I have to
subscribe to 2600 Magazine?
JC: We don't have a procedure for giving you more information, no.
PM: I'm sure the crackers will be happy to hear that. They are likely
telling each other at a nice high speed.
1 r3MeMb3r a dAy Wh3n 1t 0nLy t0oK a PhAx
thR3at3n1nG 2 3nD mY sUpP0rT w0ulD g3t
a CumSek Haqu3r lyK3 ChaZ1n R3m0v3D!@!#
Sh1T!
--spaf
Forum Of OverLordS
[A]uto reply [N] [R]e-read [Q]uit:N
Number :) 216
From :) Zen
Subject :) Who died and left you in charge?
You suck Jeanie.
Who said YOU got to be the master?
Your group sucks too. You have obsolete info.
You guys say "There is nothing you have that we can
not possess?" Well, there is nothing you have that
WE want to possess.
I think I will begin shooting off my mouth at
Usenix Security BOFs and in Risks and in
mailing lists, then maybe I can be as ELEET as
you. NOT!
Zen
Legion of Security Types
[A]uto reply [N] [R]e-read [Q]uit:N
Number :) 217
From :) Hackman
Subject :) I Dream of Geneie
Yo Yo Yo...
I think someone wants to be the next Donn Parker.
Similarities:
1) Has BIG mouth
2) Writes Worthless Books
3) Hoardes inpho from invisible enemy
4) Goes on and on about "Evil Crackers"
You should start charging 5000+ dollar speaking fees
and shave your head. THEN, maybe someone will
hire your worthless self, and you can emerge
from Academia into the REAL world. Nah...you are
too LAME!
HACKMAN
Legion of Security Types
[A]uto reply [N] [R]e-read [Q]uit:N
Number :) 218
From :) American Eagle
Subject :) hey.
You two punks think you are so kool, don't you?
I was developing security theory when you were
in junior high. You need to get your asses
kicked, and I'm the guy to do it.
About my speaking fees...Youre jealous. See green often?
You wish your k-rad companies (pffft) would pay you
as well. BAH.
