A brief statement regarding my past involvement in a cult
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March 22, 2023

This is a brief statement from me regarding my past involvement in
a dubious religious sect, and to clarify the present status.

Some readers may recognize me as a de facto "leader"-like figure in
a quasi-religious movement, so-called "Filianism."

I was indeed involved in its modern-day revival, since around 2005
and until around 2017. In this capacity, I was viewed as one of the
de facto leaders of a loosely organized sect. I compiled and
re-published its scriptures in 2009, which was previously out of
print and was only available online in a fragmented and
disorganized manner (now this book was exposed as a fabrication).

Throughout these years, I felt conflicted. Part of me really
believed in certain aspects of this false faith. Yet, I could not
overcome the feeling that I was making it all up as I went, and I
felt terrible that I had a few serious followers, who in return
went on to build their own communities. For the most part, this
so-called religion remained a niche online subculture, however, and
some of this still appears to survive primarily on Tumblr.

In truth, I was mainly interested in political and cultural
activism rather than seeing this as a serious spiritual endeavor.
Combined with my disillusionment with patriarchy and Christian
faith at the time, I found this pseudo-religious feminist ideology
quite appealing. It was also in this context that I enrolled in an
M.Div. program at Ocean Seminary College, with a major in feminist
theology.

Since then, however, I was burned out by what passes for feminism
and the "women's spirituality movement" in general. Around the
spring of 2019, I began making peace with my Christian faith,
although, at the time, I was still treating faith and spirituality
as tools for accomplishing my own worldly ambitions and political
agenda.

In early 2021, I enrolled in Christian Leaders Institute, initially
not quite knowing what I wanted to get out of it, but now working
toward a 64-credit diploma in ministry as well as certification in
chaplaincy. This is a non-denominational institution but is rooted
mostly in a historically Reformed tradition (I am not a Calvinist,
however) and is tangentially related to Christian Reformed Church.
Since then, the Holy Spirit has been reshaping my heart and mind,
albeit in a subtle and gradual way.

To reiterate, I am no longer affiliated with any sect collectively
and variously known as "Filianism", "Madrianism", "Deanism", or the
"Oxford Goddess Revival Movement," nor do I promote its beliefs.

Four years ago, I also rejected feminism, having discovered that it
has become yet another form of white identitarian movement no
longer interested in equality, liberty, or justice for all. Seeing
how they have paved the road for the hateful far-right extremist
and neo-Nazi movements to become mainstream in recent years, I was
quite prescient.


Sincerely,

Willow.

=>
https://filianismorigins.wordpress.com/2018/12/04/filianic-scriptures-origin/
Origin of the "Filianic Scriptures" (also known as the "Clear
Recital")

=>
https://medium.com/kulturoklastes/count-me-out-of-your-sisterhood-on-feminism-and-female-lifestyle-empowerment-subculture-d130a53b4542
"Count me out of your sisterhood" (Feb. 15, 2019)

=>
https://medium.com/kulturoklastes/final-words-on-anti-trans-rhetoric-by-so-called-feminists-c8f11f40748
"Final words on anti-trans rhetoric by so-called feminists" (March
19, 2019) -- very prescient