Three: Radical Change
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> Are these projects going somewhere or is it futile? What would
that "somewhere" even look like? I'm not sure.
(1)
My day is spent bouncing between quick-hit satisfaction triggers.
Couplea laughs on Mastodon, little chat on Discord, maybe resolve a
day-or-two old email, then it's back to Discord, a quick Twitter
jaunt, maybe a longer Twitter jaunt, World of Warcraft (2) and so
forth. In the spaces between, I might fiddle with a longer-term
project bearing personal importance, whether to my "hobby"
interests or my "work" requirements. When I don't have a hard
commitment—a class or office hours or meetings or getting the kid
ready for his day—I have a lot of freedom to do what I will, and
I can say with confidence, I will weakly.
Favoring a gentle downhill path, even on a project for which I have
a modicum of passion, is my biggest struggle with executive
function. The day is debrided with a curette of inconsequence. When
I have time to tackle something fun or interesting, I'm stuck with
a fraction of my capacity, less of my attention. This is one
impetus for the tech-reduction I'm circling. I do indeed find when
I'm writing in Deepdwn in distraction-free mode, I write more. I do
indeed have better recall for handwritten notes, and better
retention and transference when I handwrite on the Supernote. And,
honestly, I do indeed get more out of a limited distraction on
Mastodon than I do an extended loll on Twitter.
So, like, ok, then?
If the goal is radical change, one must, y'know, radically change.
I like the idea of a day where I write, I read (lol, when, when,
when have I meaningfully read recently?), I engage with those
engaged, I reflect, and I otherwise maintain. Realistically, this
is less Discord, less Twitter, the fastest of the fast-acting
dopamine inducers. It's also less impulsive F5-ing. I think about
Calibre's RSS-compilation feature, where I can point it at a number
of feeds and tell it to retrieve them every so often. I don't need
to check m'blogs 3-4 times a day; when they're updated, I'll catch
it on Monday. So, too, can I treat stuff like my synth Discords.
It's fine. It'll be there when I'm there.
To jump into change and expect to be changed is folly. All this is
gonna take some time, and that's where I think I can embrace my
reductionist approach: strip away the things that get in my way,
gradually; see my projects to completion; and strategically explore
(3) where next. I don't need to know that last part just yet,
because it'll depend on where I am then. We're getting there. Not
there yet.
=>
https://worm.horse/@slime/111093522733797008 (1) @slime on
worm.horse
(2) my fuckin' hunter died and I unsubscribed within minutes
=>
https://www.ala.org/acrl/standards/ilframework#exploration (3)
ACRL Framework for Information Literacy in Higher Education,
naturally
