40. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet
soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose;
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
39. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
38. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit
up.
37. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been
passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
36. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the
USSR, you are welcome to it.
35. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous,
efficient self-service.
34. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
33. On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work
throughout its useful life.
32. In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their
own skin.
31. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water
served here.
30. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they
are best in the long run.
29. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please
control yourself.
28. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our
black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and
women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for
that purpose.
27. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape
since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
26. In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
porter.
25. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest
Methodists.
24. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
23. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of
the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for
this purpose.
22. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot
heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but
if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
21. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
20. In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
19. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
18. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are
not person to do such things, please do not read notis.
17. In a Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
16. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having a good time.
15. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city
tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
14. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your
own ass?
13. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
12. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
if dressed as a man.
11. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children
in the bar.
10. At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable
food, give it to the guard on duty.
9. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the
job of the chambermaid.
8. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
7. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we
will execute customers in strict rotation.
6. From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by
15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over
the past two years.
5. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
4. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
3. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time, we regret that you will be unbearable.
2. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
1. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them
in all directions.
