Kevin was created in 1983 in a science lab just south of Moscow, nine
months later the Russian empire collapsed and the communist party had to
sell it's technology to an unexpected world power, Canada (who is secretly
taking over the planet today).
During these years Kevin was educated on the cheap, although slightly
limited by the fact the schooling system could only afford senile old
ladies who taught such important things like, "how to forget your
medication" and becoming a king pin of the retirement home drug trade.
Kevin still, some how, managed to survive with the record low of human
death and suffering behind him.
After leaving the education trade Kevin entered the high powered world of
television where he managed to cause controversy and was known to upset
the Swiss to the point of near riot. He then left after an incident with a
hammer, fourteen Romainian prostitutes and a gold fish.
Shortly after fleeing due to allegations of treason and an overhyped break
and enter charge at the Prime Minister's home, Kevin relocated to an
undisclosed location in Melksham, Wiltshire, United Kingdom.
Today Kevin can be seen on various sublimital advertisements on ITV 1 and
Five.
