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Stardate: 20230420.2104 | |
Location: the lab | |
Input Device: AlphaSmart dana.wireless | |
Software: AlphaWord | |
Audio: My daughter playing piano upstairs | |
Visual: Alphabalpha | |
Emotional State: sad, distressed, unstable. | |
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They had a round of layoffs today at work. It made me sad. I am | |
still gainfully employed but it doesn't make it easy. It takes me | |
back to when I was laid off in September of 2020. Some of those | |
feelings from before are coming back again. It does not seem fair | |
and the reason seems understandable...money, as usual. But it does | |
not seem right. | |
My boss was one of those that were let go. I feel badly for him and | |
his family. I experienced the same thing and can imagine what he is | |
going through. When I lost my job of 17 years, I went through some | |
rough times. I kept trying to make sense of, find some kind of | |
reason as to why I was laid off. I could not find any. Even now, I | |
still don't know. I even asked and there wasn't anything they could | |
tell me. Sometimes I still wonder. It all just seemed so cold and | |
impersonal, especially since I was told in a video conference | |
meeting and I had put so much time, effort, and loyalty into my work. | |
I'm glad that it wasn't me but I'm sad that my boss and others had | |
to go. I am now left with survivor's guilt, more reminders of | |
impermanence, and the uncertainty of the future of my current | |
position. There are feelings of sadness, anger, fear, remorse, | |
mistrust. My wounds from last time had been healing, but the | |
current situation has me questioning again. | |
For those who lost their jobs and those looking for work and | |
struggling through the uncertainty of recent times, my heart and my | |
prayers go out to you. | |
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