i---------------------------------------- | |
iThe Second Punic War | |
iFebruary 19th, 2018 | |
i---------------------------------------- | |
i | |
iI want a war epic made about the Second Punic War. It doesn't have | |
ito be about the entire war, I suppose, but it must capture Cannae, | |
ithe rise of Scipio Africanus, and ultimately the salting of | |
iCarthage. | |
i | |
iBack in the day there were rumors of Vin Diesel making a Hannibal | |
imovie. I'd settle for that at this point. We have movies about all | |
isorts of random crap! | |
i | |
iI let myself toy around with the idea of writing the script for | |
iabout 2 whole minutes. That was nice, then I remembered I'm not | |
ia scriptwriter nor have I ever shown any talent or interest in | |
ithat direction. Nope, I'll settle for someone elses art, thank | |
iyou. | |
i | |
iYou know how the universe sometimes seems to latch on to ideas | |
iyou've had or talked about and suddenly it's all the rage and you | |
igot no credit for it, damnit? Maybe this can be one of those | |
iscenarios. Let's have a whole string of Roman films get made. We | |
ihaven't had a Caesar movie in a while. How about Augustus? He's | |
ipretty wild. Or Nero... come on! Someone make a Nero movie. I'm | |
isure there's enough British pride that we could sell a Cymbaline | |
ifilm, even. See that... I'll take fringe Romans. | |
i | |
iI would very much like something exciting to look forward to. | |
i | |
iWell, crap. That sounds suuuuuper depressing. I didn't mean it | |
ithat way, but then I read it and was like... Ugh. | |
i | |
iI've got exciting things to look forward to. At the very least, | |
ithere's a 40lb lump in the next room who represents about | |
ia bajillion of those things. But still... I would love to put | |
ia shining star on top of this excitement tree. Toss a little | |
itinsel around and stare up at the glory of a god-damned, | |
imonther-fucking, Ridley Scott directed, Hans Zimmer scored, | |
iaction-packed adventure starring Vin Diesel and for some reason | |
iMichael Ironside in a romp across history in the testosterone | |
idump, "AFRICANUS". (In theaters May 2020) | |
i | |