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Re: Just fine (@tfurrows) | |
2019.12.20 21:22:14 CET | |
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tfurrows recently posted about how a common reply to "how are you?" | |
is "just fine" and asked what others understand by the expression[0]. | |
There is a lot of cultural background in my answer. In Brazil it is | |
very common to start any conversation with "how are you?" which is | |
receives an even quicker "fine, and you?" and finally "fine". This is | |
much more like a TCP 3-way handshake than real conversation. | |
People don't expect anyone to answer sincerely to "how are you?" If | |
one provides a real answer, it will catch the other party by surprise | |
as they want to get on to the real subject they want to touch. | |
It's more a process to know whether the other person can talk to you | |
right now rather than interest in what is going on with them. "Are | |
you available to talk now?" | |
So how would most people understand "just fine"? They probably won't | |
even register what you answered and it will go unnoticed. | |
As you noted about tone, this is much more important. They delivery | |
of the answer - how long was the pause between question and answer? | |
how was the tone? what was the body language? This carries much more | |
weight. | |
For example, I like to keep eye contact when I'm talking to people. | |
My friends know this. If they ask how I am and I reply with "just | |
fine" looking at them, they will assume the conversation can go on. | |
If I look down or don't make eye contact, "just fine" will mean | |
"let's talk a bit later". | |
[0] gopher://zaibatsu.circumlunar.space/0/%7etfurrows/phlog/2019-12-19_just |