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June 21, 2020
Where is the line between fascination with another religion, and
belief in its rituals and practices?
As a child, I remember stumbling across this Geocities-esque webpage
dedicated to the Norse god Odin. The page included information about
the god, a guestbook where visitors could submit prayers to Odin, and
a personal journal from the page's creator. I was raised Christian,
and to 5-year-old me, this page was a fascinating view into a set of
beliefs and practices other than my own.
What fascinated me about this page wasn't that the beliefs existed,
or that other groups of people worshipped a non-Abrahamic god. What
fascinated me was the set of rituals and practices, the way they
featured various symbols and colors and settings, the way that Odin in
particular was associated with certain settings, like the way that the
page's creator claimed to pray to Odin when on boats. This web of
lore, practices, rituals, seasons, symbols, incense, and offerings was
absolutely fascinating to me. You see, I wanted to believe in these
rituals, practices, and symbols, to be a part of the complex and
intertwined set of practices that the author wrote about. I wanted to
feel the fervor the author did, to be enveloped by the complicated web
of rites and practices that the author described.
I had found, and still do find, Christianity to be, at its core, a
very logical religion, hence why I still believe it to this day - one,
omnipotent, genderless being, Creator of the universe, who wishes
humans to be stewards of Its creation. But what I perceived as the
logic of the religion also made it a bit...boring, I suppose you'd
say. I found something so attractive about the complicated set of
rituals, prayers, and seasonal offerings that the page's creator
described, and I wanted to embrace them and practice them - except, I
knew that I didn't believe in them.
As I grew up, I had similar experiences when playing the online RPG
Runescape, which has a built-in pantheon of gods, each with their own
rituals, prayers, etc.; when learning about heavily ritualistic belief
systems like Hinduism or Shinto; or when I came across occult groups,
like the Rosicrucians. However, as much as the complex rituals,
stories, and esoteric properties of each of these groups appealed to
me, I always reached a sort of belief "wall," a point where I knew
that I would never believe the religions' teachings. Ultimately, I
knew that I found Christianity to truly suit my way of thinking and
mindset the most, and to this day, that is still the case.
I began this article with a question - where is the line between
fascination with another religion, and belief in its rituals and
practices? As I write, though, I realize that the better question to
ask is this: does WANTING to believe in a set of religious rituals and
practices constitute ACTUAL belief in that religion? On the flip side
of the coin, is it wrong to believe in a religion (i.e., Christianity)
through thought, but to not FEEL a sort of religious fervor for it?
And is there a way to incorporate a sort of...secular ritual into
daily life, one that emulates the sorts of rites and symbolism I felt
so enthralled by those years ago, but isn't tied to belief in
something otherworldly? Feel free to share your opinions with me as I
sort through this myself.
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