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June 05, 2020
This last week with the renewed BLM protests and associated riots I've
been toggling mostly between two modes, preoccupation with current events
and working on planning out building my shop with an unprecedented fervor.
I was talking to the SO the other day. I mentioned that I've been
incredibly anxious lately an unable to concentrate on work, I explained
that with the COVID stuff happening and with the racial unrest in the
country that I feel on edge, watchful, and helpless. She responded, "Oh,
and I thought you were anxious because of my work anxiety spilling over on
you." She's a rather anxious person herself and is making a big career
transition, and has a tendency to disregard the type of advice I give,
she's stubborn, much like me. This all ends up leaving me feeling on edge,
watchful, and helpless.
Ultimately, I don't know that there's just one source to my anxiety, and
I'm quite sure all the problems are actual problems. I'll do what I can do
to help, and I'll keep earning a few bucks at my job, and I'll build out
my shop. My impact barely makes an impression with my SO, I have less
hopes for really making things move in centuries-old racial tensions, or
viral onslaughts. So I'll balance it all out with nailing sticks together
into a shelter that I can hole up in and nail other things together within
it.
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