This may come as a surprise to my ex, the judge, and several other
people, but I have seen it, and I have heard it.
I went to the cardiologist today. Doc said he wanted to see how my
heart performs under stress. I told him that he should have run the
test when I was married.
The test, he said, normally runs for up to a half hour, long enough to
get you under a bit of physical stress. It took seven minutes for me.
During the test, I had an opportunity to see my heart in action, and
to hear it. It didn't sound very good, but I don't know what a good
heart sounds like, so it might have been fine.
This is just one more of those things we have to do when we get old.
Like the pooper-camera thing (I have that scheduled for a few weeks
from now). Things start breaking down, and it happens rapidly, each
thing breaking after another, like falling dominoes.
But, to be honest, I'm okay with it. In my genetic family (I was
adopted, so I have two families), life expectancy is remarkably low.
I'll be lucky to make it out of my 50s. Now, some of you may be
saying, "Oh hell, he ain't old!" Well, if you measure solely by number
of years, then I'm not that old. But if you measure by percentage of
life expectancy, then I'm in the geezer territory. It's the hand I was
dealt, and I'm okay with that.
But I've been asked about my lifestyle, about why I didn't do more to
extend my life expectancy, perhaps by a year or two. I had my share of
vices and I've lived a very interesting and mostly enjoyable life. But
why live the way I did, knowing it wouldn't help extend my life?
Here's my answer. It'll take me a bit to get to it, so hang in there.
When I was a kid, we lived near Disneyland. We'd go to the park fairly
often and buy the standard book of ride tickets. Back then, you see,
you got a book of tickets for the rides. Some rides were "A" ticket
rides (mostly the ones for small kids), Some were "B" and "C" and "D"
rides. The best rides were the "E" ticket rides (for you young ones
out there, this is where the colloquial phrase "E-ticket ride" comes
from).
These ticket books always had more of the A tickets, and just a few of
the E tickets. The better the ride, the higher the ticket, the fewer
you got.
Now, some people would use their tickets as they got them. Most of us
would try to trade them off. Maybe your younger sister didn't want to
ride the E rides, so you could trade four As for one E. Sweet deal.
There was one drawback of riding just the E rides. You got fewer
rides. This meant that you spent less time on rides, but you got the
better rides.
Okay, here's the analogy part.
In life, we kinda have the same deal going on. You can choose to live
your life on the E ticket rides, but you're probably not gonna be
around as long as those who ride the A ticket rides. There are
drawbacks and benefits to each one.
I've ridden a lot of E ticket rides in life. Some good, some real damn
scary. But I had a good run. Would I like to hang around longer?
Absolutely. I'm hoping I still have a few more ride tickets, whether
they're As or Es or something in between. But, if it comes down to the
park closing in ten minutes, please make your way toward the exit, I'm
okay with that, too.
