It's been a while since my last update, and things have not been
getting better. Most of the time, I'm okay. But there are moments when
things are not good, and those moments are increasing in frequency and
length.
As for the mental health people, I am still waiting for some kind of
evaluation.
This morning, I was waiting for my usual bus. The next thing I
noticed, I was several miles away, not on my bus route, sitting on the
sidewalk against a building. I still had my wallet and my briefcase.
My hand was bleeding, and there was blood on my mouth, but after
wiping at it, it appears that the blood on my mouth came from my hand,
where it seemed I had punched something or fallen. I'm not a violent
person, so I'm assuming it's the latter. There's also redness on my
arm and some white stuff on my shirt, probably from the wall I was
leaning against.
After I came to and collected myself, I located where I was at, got on
a bus, and then walked a block to work.
At first, I thought about the lost time involved here. I've had
incidents of this happen before. When I was in college, I lost about
two hours of time. I came to with evidence that I had been at a
shopping mall about two miles away, and must have walked there. It
turned out, I had actually crossed a freeway on foot to do it. Not on
a bridge, but right across the freeway.
Back then, I was drinking a lot, and although I wasn't drunk during
the blackout, I just figured that it must be related. And there were
other incidents, too, including seizures when I was younger and a
couple seizures a few years ago.
What happened could have been a seizure. Or it could have been
whatever has been causing the small incidents of lost time. Either
way, I have an injury as a result, and this changes things
significantly. I am apparently, at the very least, a danger to myself.
