A few days ago, I got a new briefcase. I had been using a shopping
bag to carry lunch and other sundries to work and back. I looked like
a bag lady. Well, not so much "lady," but you know. I decided I
needed to change the look.
I bought my first briefcase when I was in college. A thick Samsonite,
built like a tank, and fat enough to hold my Calculus books. I used
it after college for a few years until my first car accident. It was
a nasty accident, and the briefcase, although surprisingly still
functional, took a severe hit. As the handle was starting to break
through (Calculus books are heavy in more ways than one), it was time
for something new.
Well into my drinking years, I don't remember my second briefcase at
all. I know I had one, but I can't even picture it.
This time, my needs are simpler. I looked on Target.com and found one
for relatively little money. Had all the nice pockets, a Velcro
divider (that won't last)... I liked it, so I bought it.
For some strange reason, Target sent it to my mother's house in Palm
Springs. Her neighbor is a friend of mine and he was kind enough to
re-ship it to me. I like the new briefcase and started using it this
week.
Yesterday at work, my wallets bothered me. Not the usual "oh shit, I
haven't got any money" kind of bothering me, but they just felt
intrusive when I sat down. (For the record, I carry two wallets; one
is a decoy). I apparently decided to move both of them to my
briefcase, though I have no recollection of doing so.
This morning as I finished getting ready for work, I realized that my
wallets were gone. I panicked. My bus pass is in my wallet. I could
just pay cash but... my cash is in my wallet. Perhaps I could get to
the ATM... ATM card is in the wallet. Shit. I remembered that I had a
bag of quarters in my backpack for emergencies. I pulled out enough
change for the bus, thinking that I must have left my wallets at
work. I happily walked to the bus stop, briefcase in hand, wondering
where my wallets were.
A slight tingling happened in the dark recesses of my brain, and I
realized that I had forgotten to put my wireless headphones on. At
the bus stop, I opened my briefcase to take out my headphones. The
box was buried under my two wallets, which I tossed into the back of
the briefcase, then put my headphones on, closed the briefcase, and
waited for the bus.
And my head, ever so slowly, said to itself, "Um... wallet. Wallet.
WALLET, you idiot!"
