Love opening my notes and forgetting what I was
about to type.
People around me just talk about superficial
stuff, it feels disappointing. Unfortunately the
only escape I have is to be on my phone and try to
read something that picks my interest. I still
need to find some book to read/improve my writing.
I've got an idea of what story to write.
14:28
My bad habit of picking my teeth/gum is taking
it's toll. Although it sorta helps a bit into
cleaning them.
I can already tell is going to be a difficult day.
21:11
It is a difficult day, I think I'm going to sleep
early today, unless my brain forces me to keep
yapping about sad stuff.
When I think of sad things I feel as if I'm
wasting away; losing opportunities to do better,
maybe. I used to be the kind of person who runs
away from negative thoughts, used to loathe them
whenever they'd come into my mind because the
state of "being sad" was unbearable to me. Nobody
ever taught me how to deal with it, what am I
supposed to do? Suppressing it just makes it worse
as far as I know. Ignoring it is the same.
From my experience searching for possible
solutions, people (or chatbots) have told me that
I should let it out in a "healthy" way. I've
drawn, write, listened to music; attack my closest
people out of rage and get in small arguments with
them for stupid reasons. You can already tell
what's the actual best way to do so here. I
wouldn't say it always work, but now that I'm
invested in my goal to improve my writing and
writing everyday, it could be a little easier to
rage/act as a depressed loser with no ambitions
and goals in their life without consequences.
(Also no money, but that's a different topic) And
let's not talk about the fact that I slept only 3h
today. You could say I got used to this despair
feeling, I'm not sure if this is okay, but I'm
certain it's different from having awful
meltdowns.
23:51
I've resolved to use a desktop mate to feel a
little less lonely. Besides I can't watch my
brainrot content in peace because my ISP is being
awful today.
I've been having a lot of insomnia and it's taking
a toll. I'll try new methods to lie down tonight.
Is embarrassing how much I delay replying to
people who genuinely seem to worry about me. Not
because I hate them, but because I have a strange
habit to just not reply unless they're a very
important person to me. I don't even give that
privilege to my own family.
01:25
### On making beermoney:
I don't know why would this be useful for anybody,
but the only sites that have worked for me so far
are:
