Symbiosis goes deep between people. I find myself doing things
that were things my ex did. Sometimes I am doing the opposite of
what she would do. Sometimes I do things that I would not have
done as they were her things.
That sounds like it could apply to anything, and maybe it is just
a post fact adjustment. Even in that case, symbiosis goes deep,
if I am constantly referring to the past in what I do.
Maybe it is a way to keep her with me for a while longer. I think
the reference points are becoming more positive, going further
back in time. A bittersweet taste seems to begin to overpower
the resentment.
Maybe the things I do now are also what I would have like to have
done in an alternative timeline. She suggested to me quite a few
things I might enjoy doing, but I never got to most of them since
I was attached to her clock speed, which made it practically
impossible for me to have time for recreation.
So, now I am dabbling into things like cooking and yoga. I also
realised that her interior design style sort of brushed on me,
although with a spartan twist. That goes for cooking as well.
I am going through this book "Wilderness Chef" by Ray Mears, and
am only aiming at sort of a flexibility of dinner options when
in the bush. So, quite spartan.
