I know. There is this pill. You take it,
but you are not supposed to stop drinking.
The pill does it for you. You lose your
interest for alcohol, since the pill stops
you from getting pleasure from drinking.
So you are not going to
make the decision to
stop drinking?
That's the best part. I don't have to.
The pill does it for me. I just take
the pill and keep drinking. Then I will
lose interest and stop drinking.
Wouldn't it make sense to take the pill
AND decide to stop drinking, so that you
develop the capacity of making decisions
like this? The pill could help
keeping the decision.
That's not how it is supposed to be
used. It says that I don't have to stop.
It's on the instruction.
But you deprive yourself of an opportunity
to practice going against you addiction.
Next time you need to make a hard decision,
you are no better off than now, and there
is not going to be a pill like this for
everything.
So you don't actually want me to stop
drinking, do you?
You are not stopping if it's only the pill
doing it. You are actively keeping yourself
out of the process.
Why does it matter if it ends in
me stopping drinking?
Intentions matter. Your
motivation matters.
Look, I just want to be done with
you complaining about this. There is
this pill I can take.
You are not addressing the problem.
You can't fix the root cause with
this pill. How are you going to keep
from drinking again? Just keep eating
those pills forever?
Yeah, if I need to.
You won't have anything to keep you
motivated in taking a pill that doesn't
seem to have any function after you
are not drinking anymore. It only has
a function if you are trying to stop
drinking. And you are really saying
you don't want to stop. You are only
doing it because I want you to stop.
You are so mean. You don't want me to
get out of this addiction.
Your alcoholism is not the root problem.
You are addicted to eating, shopping,
netflix, your phone. It doesn't even
feel like I am in the same space with
you, since you are on some device,
off somewhere with someone else.
Don't call it alcoholism. It's alcohol
addiction syndrome.
What I mean with the word alcoholism
means to me "a person who is addicted
to alcohol". It is the exact same thing
minus the "syndrome" to make it sound like
you need to be a doctor to come up
with the mental fortitude to actually
make decisions about it.
Do you want to keep me from my friends
too? And stop me from enjoying my passion
in interior design?
I mean, it is rude to be staring
at your phone while you are supposedly
spending time with me, not your friends,
who are reachable by the phone after
I leave to do my stuff. And yeah, sure,
you can have a hobby of interior design
but does that have to mean that we are
constantly out of money? And you don't
properly dispose of the old stuff, so
we have a load of usable furniture rotting
outside because you got new ones?
You are so cold. You don't say anything
nice about me. I ask you what you want
for dinner and you are like "whatever".
Yes, I literally don't care what I eat.
I don't want to have a fancy meal each day.
You are the one who cannot eat the same food
for two days in a row. For me, I don't care
if it is the same food. I don't want to decide
on what to eat everyday, and I don't want to go
to the store this often. Are you planning on
getting your driver's licence back any time soon,
so you can go to the store alone?
So you don't want to even spend time
with me on the shopping trip?
I don't enjoy the store. You do.
Why don't you go get the shit you
need for the fancy meal you want
and I stay here and do what I do?
It's not like you help me keep
this place running. You just sit
inside with your wine and netflix.
You are cruel and don't appreciate me.
Why do you keep me in this country,
where I have no friends?
You have more friends than me. You
have all of my old friends. You just don't
do anything outside the house, so how
do you expect to get more friends?
It's the people in this country.
They don't make friends.
Why don't you go to learn the language?
You could meet some expatriots in a
language class.
The language is too hard and it's useless
since I can't use it outside this country.
Okay, fine. I don't know what to tell
you. I try helping you and you just
refuse to accept any advice.
You never take any of my advice either!
What? I don't have problems like this.
I am not pining for some different
existance. I would hope you could
ease off with coming up with things
that add weight on my way of living.
I don't need advice from you.
See? You think of me as a lesser person.
I am not following your logic.
You come to me with all these plans to
change my life, but you yourself want
none of it.
You have more need for variety. I don't
need to overhaul my life. You are pushing
things and activities in my life that I
have to deal with. These activities are
something you want.
You just want to keep to yourself and
not care about me. Why don't we have more
sex?
The only times you want to have sex
is when you are drunk. You are basically
absent from reality most of the time.
I don't feel like I connect with you
throughout the day. I am just running
your errands. It isn't like we are
a couple, really. We used to do things
together, but now it is just me doing
things for you, and you coming up with
new ways of entertaining yourself.
You are avoiding me.
I don't want to be in the same space with
you when you are drinking. Yes, I avoid you
in that case. I also am not interested in
watching literally everything netflix has on it.
And then there's your phone. You have any idea
how rude it is when we are having a dinner and
talking, and then your phone blings, and you
pick it up, your face lights up into a smile
and you start tapping something on that phone?
It is like you are unable to keep from it
for the duration of the meal.
So, we are back to you not liking me
to have friends? You just want to have
me here cooped up with you.
No, that is not what I want.
You are impossible. I sometimes
wonder how you were mistreated
to become like this. I wonder why
I keep up with this. Maybe I should
just leave you. I would not have to be
in this country where the people are
so rude and cold.
I did not bring you here against
your will and I am not keeping you
here. You were making those decisions
as well as I was.
Leave me alone.
People are not rude to you. You keep
dumping people who would be your friends.
Maybe we are just not good enough for you.
