In "The Myth of Normal" that I am reading, Gabor Mate writes that
the fear of guilt strangles a robust "no", smothering
self-assertion. I relate to that.
In some ways I live a very idiosynchratic existance. Often I have
a line repeating in my head "He is a weird guy..." as if someone
else is saying it about me. It always has the same intonation
as well: A little bit puzzling, a little condemning, but maybe
slightly curious.
Being weird is sort of a stamp of approval. It is confirming that
at least I am all me in something. This can be compared to the
Confirmed Victimhood, if you wish.
The times I am not all me is when it comes to social situations.
That is when the robust nos can be lacking. The idiosynchratic
world is built by coming up with interesting yesses, but the
social world seems to be carved through nos.
