Reading "Into the Wild" and realising an interesting constellation
of influences bubbling into my mind. I'd never read the book, but
remember the movie having quite an impact on me when it came out.
Although, at that time I was already living a rather marginal
existance, and themes like travelling dirt poor and dumpster
diving were not foreign to me.
There is another book that hits even closer to the core of this
mythical lifestyle. It's called "Evasion: A Journal of Militant
Unemployment". I am not sure if I ever read the entire book, but
what I skimmed seems to have had very deep impact on me. I think
I might have even come across the book on a hitchhike through
Europe.
I don't think I will ever be able to actually live by these
principles, and I am not sure to what extent I want to, but there
is a certain freedom in knowing that it is within the realm of
possibilities. And I don't mean this as in "I read about it, it
is possible" but rather "I have tried it before and it works
within these specific boundaries and circumstances".
It is the mushroom season. It has rained enough during the past
couple of weeks. This means that there is an opening to saving
money and relaxing in nature at the same time. It's not exactly
revolutionary but it is a small act towards freedom. The more
edible mushrooms you know, the more you can save. And more
importantly, you can have a little crack between you and the
value extraction system that is your usually necessary nurse.
Another bubble that came up: The vision of the apartment as I
came back after the summer. There is something deep about the
empty stability of it. Nothing changed. The apartment is my
shell, and it cannot live without me. I had replaced it with a
backpack.
I should stop writing now, but I will add, somewhat
apprehensively, that there also is something real dark about
anarchism that triggers me. I see it as cynisism or defeatism,
almost like the anarchist "protests too much", like it is a
final struggle against some primordial anxiety that will, in
time, snuff out the protagonist. Maybe that's why Into the Wild
is such a touching story. Another book I am reading is
Gabor Mate's "The Myth of Normal", and he takes the schism
between belonging and independence to be a profound dialogue
that each of us has to face in order to grow. This is very
much a question in anarchism. I think why it triggers me is
because of some of these sickly memories of people I met who,
I am afraid, must be dead by now.
