I feel like moving through the mainstream is sort of like keeping
yourself in a constant state of expectancy for fight or flight.
It's like I am always ready to be riled up by something. And the
riling up of masses has somehow become this huge political
instrument that looks like it's going to get out of hand due to
its scale. It seems to me that in order to exist in any "public"
form out there takes an inordinate amount of aligning yourself
in preparation for the flame wars directed at you.
I am not very thick skinned. I will rather give up and pack my
things and leave than stay in an inflammated existance with people
who need me to oppose them to justify their point of view.
I am mostly interested in learning.
For a person like me to exist publicly in mainstream, I would
have to adopt a very slimmed down version of what goes on in my
mind. It would be rounded out, built on a mountainside behind
a mote with five year supply of arguments. But this is an
existance to be pitied. There is no learning from such a
position.
