Quite a while ago, I believe it was around 2 years ago,
I walked into my usual pub, sat by the bar and got into a
conversation with the guy sitting next to me. We got chatting
about my favourite topic (languages) and my journey in
learning what I know about them.
I asked him what he did for a living, and he told me that he
does music and lighting engineering for shows, not the least
of which were his girlfriend's shows. Turns out my new friend
was the boyfriend of one of my country's biggest pop stars,
and I actually took her seat while she went to the toilet for
a moment. Not long after he told me so, she showed up and
introduced herself to me. No introduction was necessary, I've
been at her show earlier that year.
I offered her her seat back, but she was fine with standing
and insisted I continued talking about languages, which I
did. The two of them kept asking intriguing questions and
buying me beers. They also asked about some of my tattoos,
one of which is the text "我不知道" ("I don't know") in
Chinese, which is just there to mess with people who ask
me what it means. They absolutely loved the tattoo and my
stories, both measured by my capacity to estimate how well
people are enjoying my ramblings and by the fact that they
stayed there listening to me from 22:00 to 02:00.
I got a picture with them before they left.
Earlier, during the summer of this year, I once again ran
into the boyfriend. He recognized me immediately and asked
for a new picture with me to send to his girlfriend, with
this explicit demand to have my tattoo in frame.
He also asked for my phone number, so that they may be able
to text me whenever they're around my city again so that we
may be able to catch up. He also let me follow his private
instagram profile.
Then a few weeks ago, he placed a new post on his instagram
story announcing that his girlfriend and yet another huge
popstar were hosting a private party in a city not far from
mine, along with a link through which one could RSVP.
I optimistically filled it in, not sure if I 'qualified' to
even show up to something so exclusive.
At this point, I had enough ways to ask the boyfriend just
to make sure whether or not I'd be welcome or "on the list"
but I didn't want to bother him with things I didn't really
have a terribly good reason to doubt yet.
I showed up anyways, and was welcomed in.
Both members of the couple were eager to see me again, but
of course were quite busy with the party, so I met with some
other people instead who turned out to be really nice.
I didn't get to speak with the second pop star of the night,
but earlier today, I saw that she's having a show near my
city.
I say all of this not to brag (although it absolutely is
bragging, but that's merely a secondary motivation), but
rather to meditate on the concept of being exposed to fame.
Especially since Tyler The Creator's release of "Chromakopia"
yesterday, I wanted to think about the power dynamics of
fame.
In his song "Noid", Tyler writes about the crippling fear
that comes with fame. How he can't trust anyone to really
engage with him as a person, since people go so insanely far
to even get near people with his level of fame.
While I am absolutely sympathetic to his pleas, I can't help
but wonder whether or not I'm contributing to that
phenomenon.
I seriously don't know if I am capable of discerning the
difference between being genuinely engaged in a conversation
with someone who happens to be famous, or if the illusion of
engagement stems from the fame of my conversational partner.
After all, if the person with whom I'm talking could
have a huge positive impact on my life, I'm inherently
going to be more blind to parts of their personality that may
otherwise put me off. Much like how I could never "truly" be
friends with my boss or a professor for a university course
I'm following. The power dynamic is simply too great.
Normally, I'd place the responsibility in unequal power-
dynamics on the person in whose favour the dynamic tips not
to continue the relationship.
Teachers may not have relations with their students and if
they do have them, it's always the teacher's fault.
Extending this perspective on Tyler The Creator, however
doesn't entirely seem to feel right. He's just a guy who
make great art and although that does net him a lot of money,
I don't think that should strip him from the basic need to
connect with others and get to meet new people. Even people
who know and love his art.
I cannot deny that there's a possibility that I'd never
have engaged so much with that popstar couple if I didn't
eventually come to know what level of fame they had.
I don't really know yet who has the responsibility of
ensuring the quality and genuinity of such a relation,
but until I figure that out, I'll just continue being
Shrödinger's Fame Vulture.
