Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado
for an actual class assignment:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment
with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple.
Each person will pair off with the person sitting next to them.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of
a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
another copy
to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending
another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
and so on back-and-forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to
keep the
story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of
the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the
e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
Rebecca and Gary.
THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't
decide which kind of tea she wanted The chamomile, which used to
be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too
much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked
chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile
was out of the
question.
(second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris,
leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed
asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty
night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into
his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign
of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying
out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not
before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing
the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards,
Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers
of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.
(Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to
live. Thousands
of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first
of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who
pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the
congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two
hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on
course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire
planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid
Laurie.
(Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
adolescent.
(Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious
neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of
Valium. " Oh, shall I
have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING
TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who
reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
