dissolution of old traces out of which current strengths
emerged. see also
BREATHING EXERCISES email for more [vide infra]
There are places where I need this stuff but I can tell where that is.
There is a difference between having pity and compassion for my father on
the one hand, and, on the other hand, continuing to allow myself to be
ensnared by the traps he trained me to fall into.
When that comes up, I have to fight it with positive affirmations by
myself.
(Don't have to worry about falling into ego bullshit.)
My father is DEAD.
The only time I need to remind myself of my accomplishments and strength
is when his voice comes back in my head.
If a today voice critical comes to resemble his in my head, then remember
who I am and remember my strength, and remember that I did not become an
abuser. Because to come from an abused childhood and not become an abuser,
is in fact to conquer the abuser.
Stockholm syndrome!
BREATHING (ask for new handout)
Lie on back. Take a big book, put it down low on stomach partially near
crotch, like right above your crotch, and until we talk again then more to
do, when you breathe make that book go up and down, and every time when it
goes up and then back down, then make a sound, a loud sound like
'HA!!!!!!' and (maybe other vowel sounds), pay attention to your body;
then try it when you're sitting up without the book but making the sounds;
and then pay attn to when the breath starts to go up into the chest, THEN
push it back down; or when it gets into the throat such that the sound is
distorted or covered, do that kind of belly breathing. Idea is that body
is like a bellows so inhaling is like a bellows and exhaling is the same.
Don't do PUH or BUH: "plosive" sounds... they sound hard and harsh. Also
just pay attn to when voice starts to go... voice should start from
rectum, supported from that far down. When that is going, then we can talk
about how it connects up and how to get head, throat, chest and belly
voices: they're all about kinesthetics. head-presentations,
throat-everyday chat intimacy, low throat very sexy, chest voice is used
for at a table conference w/ 6 ppl say you want to be heard but not
projecting really loud so not intimate; belly voice is important, supports
the voice and helps control the breathing--also relax your body while
you're doing it, if you tense up then just shake them out.
For UL: between chest and belly voice. ==> AND do breath control. <==
THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO DO WHEN YOU GET ANXIOUS IS BREATHE; THE ONE
THING PEOPLE STOP DOING IS BREATHING.
Talking in the facial mask i.e., using those muscles. Keeping lips forward
the way the french do it,t hat's what you're trained to do when you are
trained ot use your voice, keeping the lips loose and forward.
On Jan 13, Robert Cutler wrote:
> be there be aware but don't analyze to death
> but not in a fog in a haze
>
> violent defense is an old habit that just needs to be put away.
>
> now you are smart enough to discriminate to know where you need it and
> not.
>
> violent defence from MLC sourced differently from fioelnct defence from
> UL.
>
