15th August 2023 - Funeral Times
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Yesterday was spent at my Grandma's funeral. She died 2 or so weeks
ago in a quiet manner after not really eating or drinking for the past
4 months. My Grandma had been suffering from vascular dementia for 6
or so years although managed to stay in her home thanks to carers
until the last 5 months. The day I realised that the woman I loved had
changed significantly was when she went grey. If she was well, she
would never of not dyed her hair. I still have no idea what her
natural hair colour was. I am not sure my mum knows really.
My response to the call that she had died was very matter of fact and
there was relief that she had stopped suffering. The last time I
visited, she was just lying in bed in the dark. There was a response
but she was not able to really concentrate. Luckily my brother was
there and went into his work mode. He works as a pharmacist in care
homes so is used to patients in her condition. Following that, there
were tears but weird tears.
Thankfully, my Grandma had sorted her funeral out. It was all paid for
and her wishes written down. The ceremony was delightfully simple,
quick yet touching. She wouldn't of wanted a fuss and was not
religeous at all. The crematorium was actually a lovely place to be
in. It was fairly modern with simple decoration and lots of light. The
seats faced a window showing the local landscape. Suitably wild to
help give the eyes somewhere to focus while fighting back tears. I am
a soppy sod who struggles when I see people sad in an environment
which drips with sadness. I was doing well until my uncle started
talking and I was proud of him. Thankfully my brother was there too
with his nearly 1 year old daughter. There was a fair bit of her
taking the order of service from me and passing it to her mum and vis
versa. There was even an occasional poking her dad in the eye with it
as well. My neice did well and kept quiet until half way through.
Sadly she wanted to make some noise and so my sister in law had to run
off with her. At the end, you typically find the coffin is removed
from the room. There are a couple of methods. The worst is when it
decends down on a lift. Typically it is done with a curtain hiding
while it rolls away. With my Grandma it stayed there so we all had to
file past. I think if I was expecting it, it would be fine. But no, it
was a surprise and that drove the tears to fall. Bleurgh. I am sure I
could get a job as a professional wailer although I am probably not
dramatic enough for that.
The reception went well. Once again I used my neice as a great social
awkwardness shield. She is a smiley chap who squeals with joy all the
time. She still has no hair. Well there is some small bits of blonde
hair appearing but it is hard to see and mostly at the back. There was
plenty of talking to various relatives and it was a nice spread.
Suitably beige as all such buffets should be. Token tomatos to make
people feel healthier. Following the reception bit, the family
decamped back to my Grandma's house. I got to spend more time with my
neice of course. She is walking although mostly while holding on to a
finger. She has taken steps without any support but she had decided
that life is easier on all 4s. I will be seeing her again this coming
weekend as my parents are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
Looking forward to seeing everyone in happier times!
For professional wailing, please contact
[email protected] for the latest
rates and availability. Will work for beer and suitably beige food.
