So I've been making a lot of attempts over the last couple years to be
a better human for the benefit of my family and myself.
Two things that I've identified as needing the most work are:
1) Getting a highly regimented 8+ hours of sleep every night
2) Avoiding high doses of sugar
I'm not sure which of those two is harder, but I've made the sugar re-
alization much more recently, so it's currently the one at the fore-
front of my mind because I'm trying to figure out how to approach it.
The goal
======================================================================
To be clear, I'm not looking to eliminate sugar entirely from my diet.
That would probably be great for me, but is a much, much greater chal-
lenge.
Instead, I'm attempting to simply avoid the "really bad stuff": candy,
sugary soda*, ice cream, sweetened creamers in coffee and tea in the
morning, and even fruit juice.
(* I'm also avoiding 'diet' sodas because I've heard uncomplimentary
things about those as well.)
I'm not going to (within reason) limit my intake of fresh fruit or
prepared foods which happen to contain sugar, which, let's face it, is
pretty much all of them.
What doesn't work
======================================================================
I've always failed this goal over the long term using sheer "logic"
and "willpower".
Lately, after a long day of work, I find myself completely under-pre-
pared to deal with two young children bouncing off the walls when I
get home. To somehow compensate, I eat ice cream and candy. I stuff
my face with it because...I Just Don't Care Anymore.
You can't will yourself to do something when you just don't care any-
more. That ain't gonna happen.
Another problem is that food seems to (temporarily) boost willpower.
Sugar, especially. It's not sustainable, but I have found that I have
been able to face things I've been dreading by "fueling up" with a
bowl of ice cream or a candy bar. How much of that was imagined, and
how much was the result of real physical effects of glucose on the
brain, I couldn't say.
I can will myself to do just about anything for a finite period of
time or start an easy habit, but for the tough, grueling behavior
changes, the willpower approach is nigh impossible for us mere mor-
tals.
What might work
======================================================================
My most recent Easter Bunny candy binge was really eye-opening for me.
I had known that sugar was making me feel tired and achy. But on
Easter morning, I went completely crazy with the candy and it made me
feel terrible. I got tired, and cranky, and my stomach hurt.
And the worst part is, after a brief pause to recover, I STILL ATE
MORE CANDY.
I slept terribly that night.
I realized two things:
1) Concentrated sugar is really, really bad for me.
2) I'm an addict - why else would I keep doing something that was so
obviously bad for me and made me feel so bad!?
That realization has morphed into something even more powerful.
Changing my beliefs about sugar
----------------------------------------------------------------------
My previous belief was something like:
"Sugar is surely bad for me, but I can still have a moder-
ate amount every day as a reward/coping mechanism. It
makes me happy."
I now believe:
"Sugar is really bad for me. It makes me feel like crap.
It doesn't make me happy."
And now that I have established that belief, I've come to realize
something:
I don't think beliefs take much, if any, effort to follow.
Seriously, wow.
I believe that gambling is a complete waste of time and money, so I
don't do it. It doesn't matter to me that many people obviously enjoy
it. It holds no temptation for me.
Changing who I am based on my belief
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rather quickly, I'm turning myself into a person who orders unsweet-
ened tea at a restaurant, who looks for apples and cheese for a snack,
and who can walk right past a box of Easter candy without being tempt-
ed (too much) to sneak a piece.
It's taking some willpower to overcome the HABIT of mindlessly and
joylessly consuming some ice cream or candy at the end of a long,
stressful day.
But all I have to do is remember that sugar doesn't make me happy.
It's not a mantra I have to repeat or anything because I know (be-
lieve) this to be true: sugar was not making me happy or feel good; it
was making me unhappy, tired, and unwell.
It's not just what I think, it's becoming who I am.
I guess we are what we believe? Jeez, that sounds so trite.
I think I've actually been doing this in other areas of my life with-
out realizing it, changing how I think about things and structuring my
actions around those new thoughts. Here are some examples:
* I'm no good at difficult mental tasks late at night, I need to get
up early while it's still quiet in the house and apply my fresh brain
to my projects
* Procrastination always ends in sorrow, I now start hard/dreaded
tasks right away and I'm always glad I did
* I don't have much time to waste, I can relax now and then, but I'm
happiest when I'm creating and learning
I'm still working on the above and there are plenty of things I'm
still really, really bad at.
But I'm starting to see how maybe those failures are the result of
muddy thinking because, generally: where my thoughts are clear and de-
cisive, my actions are clear and decisive.
