Millennia Year Application Software System
                          Author unknown.

  A great new software announcement!!! This memo is to announce the
  development of a new software system.

  We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm
  data that is Year 2000-compliant. The program is referred to as the
  Millennia Year Application Software System (MYASS).

  Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show
  MYASS to everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations
  throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity
  to get a good look at MYASS.

  As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not
  addressed the networking aspects so currently only one person at a
  time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS
  expands. Several people are using the program already and have come
  to depend on it. Just this morning I walked into a subordinate's
  office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in
  MYASS. I've noticed that some of the less technical personnel are
  somewhat afraid of MYASS.

  Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the
  program, I had a secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous. I've
  never put anything in MYASS before." I volunteered to help her
  through her first time and when we were through she admitted that
  it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to
  doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and
  Oracle, she was ready to kiss MYASS.

  I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS
  upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has
  been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future,
  however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. We
  planned this database to encompass all information associated with
  the business. So as you begin using the program, feel free to put
  anything you want into MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a
  time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a
  manager hand a paper to an employee and say, "Here, stick this in
  MYASS."

  This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company
  during recent OSHA and EPA audits. After requesting certain
  historical data the agency representatives were amazed at how
  quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers
  could be retrieved so rapidly our Environmental Manager proudly
  stated "Simple, I just pulled them out of MYASS."

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